Hornets Hype

Hornets aren’t as good as they have been the last two years and Dallas I mean Oakland I mean Golden State I mean fuck (which team are we again), well, my team has gotta take advantage of these fools without CP3; it’s our big chance to run a team ragged and let our talent lag get lost in the run and gun style we run without their ability to sub, you know, with all their injuries–wait, what, our injuries, our short bench?  Don’t worry about it.

Tip.  We win.  That Ju-kid steals it and quick foul, take it out of bounds and then they score?  That was quick.  We got our own tricks, ha ha.  We’ll just let Anthony Tolliver score the first  14 of our 18 points.  D-Leaguer?  Not anymore.  Won’t see him coming.  Okafor two quick fouls.  Sucker!  Oh wait, we don’t have any bigs either.  No answer to David West inside or out, why is he running and working hard on defense?  It’s a waste of time.  (He’s killing us, though).  We’re running up and down, though; what more could you want (it’s a game of attrition, how could this not work?).   Songaila fouled makes both free throws. Damn!  Who would have thought it?  Hornets up 4 at the end of the First: got ‘em right where we want ‘em.

That Marcus Buckets kid’s supposed to be special?  He’s 0-1.  Mwwwahaha.  We’ll shoot him back to the bench.  Wait, what, we’re 2-8 from 3?  Shit.  Keep shooting.  Buckets 0-2 now.  What’s that, Smart, West is 8-15 for 18  with 6:18 to go in the Second?  What the fuck? Chris Paul looked good in warm-ups, think he’ll suit up at halftime?  Maggette’s jumper is falling.  That’s something  Thank god West picked up foul 2 and is finally sitting.

Posey in. Is that good or not?  Old, flu-ridden bastard.  Que pasa, Silas?  Zero offensive boards and our best rebounder has 2?  West has 8 and Songaila 4?  Don’t worry about it.  C.J. Picks up foul 3.  Shit.  Wow, that Thornton 3 was a curveball. How’d that go in?  Finally get a fast break our way and Posey holds Ellis, holding up the break, no call?  Whatever.

Collison pull up 3 with 32 seconds left in the Second for the 2-and-1, didn’t he do that at the end of the First?  Well at least we’ll, aarrrrggghh!  Just….Wright cross court for the buzzer-beater.  Never mind.

West picks up his double-double forty seconds in.  Thunder dunk from Okafor.  Damn.  We’re losing?  I guess it’s because we can’t hit anything from 3.  Cut in then, ah, see you missed.  Oh, wait, another way late whistle? Sweet, we’ll take it.  Steal, there we go.  Wait, did C.J. just pass it to Bower? Fuck!

Why does that Mo Pete keep hitting 3s?  That’s our thunder.  HOLD ON.  11-3 run, that’s what I’m talking about. What, Turner, we’re still down 13? Shit!  But the crowd’s back into it now.  Hornets lead down to 9. Keep it gunning, guys. Wait Mo again?  What’s with that guy?!  Steal to end the Third and Devean George dunks it home.  Yeeeahahahah!!!

Run keep going keep going run and shoot 3s and yes that is what I call coaching suck it now because we’re tied, bitches!  Mo Pete fouled on the 3. Misses all 3 FTs!?  Wouldn’t have happened if he had jacked that shot up quicker!  Back now to us, up 2, 34-11 Warriors run!!!   Wait, why did that Buckets kid score 2 in a row? I thought he was taking it off tonight?

Another 3, this one missed. So what? That’s not the point.  What is with that David West?!?  Ah well, defense is overrated.  We’ll just keep shooting to defend him.  There we go, Reggie Williams hits another three. He hit over 40% in the D-League, why would he shoot any worse now?  Can’t make a 3 you don’t take.  (Weird how the Hornets were killing us with their bigs and then went small.)  30 point swing in the last 10 minutes or so. And they say I can’t coach.  We’re shooting 9-11 from 3 in the Fourth. Now that’s coaching.  If we can just shoot this well every game, no one will be able to beat us.

Beat the Hornets by 10.  Let’s party like it’s 1999 or I’m coaching against Avery.  Nothing as sweet as your nineteenth win.

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Posted in D West Mothaf*@kas!, Game Recaps, I Amuse Myself |

Mood Right Now:

AAAAGGHH!!

If this blog posts any more stuff about Marcus Thornton you’re going to get me a restraining order.

But.

I had to:

Is this when you know you've made it?

Of course, I didn’t read the article because it’s Insider only. But we all know the article is not important!! (But if you want to know what they said about him & Collison, Hornets 247 has an excerpt…)

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Posted in Lil Buckets, Media Watch, Rookies |

Mood Right Now:

Kind of a Big Deal

A bunch of us were brainstorming NBA player comparisons for Marcus Thornton on Twitter after the Suns game. His game is sort of hard to pin down, because he has more speed (including that lightning-fast release… seriously, watch him next time) than a straight-up three point specialist is usually working with. He’s stockier and plays tougher around the basket than most of the usual “little guys” you could compare him to.  But he doesn’t have the crazy athleticism of some of the other inside scorers. Neither is he a point guard or a multi-tasker who’s going to fill up much of the stat sheet besides points, threes, some rebounds, and one or two steals. “Pure scorer” is probably the best description for him, since he’s shown an instinctive ability to get his hands on the ball and get points from anywhere on the floor. Comparisons get more difficult when you consider his role– which is, currently, coming off the bench as a 6th man who, since the All Star Break, is responsible for 75% of the Hornets bench points. (Seriously. CST dropped this stat last night.) He plays the role of Manu Ginobili and Jason Terry, but his game is different. Some of the comparisons I’ve been hearing either don’t fit or are too old school for me to really agree with or disagree with.

Who else in the NBA plays or played like Thornton? Here are some of the ideas we (@snavetrebor, @LSUhornet17) came up with, plus a few other names I’ve seen thrown around. If you have a comparison you think is spot-on, let me know in the comments and I’ll add it! Oh, yeah, and if you think it’s a combination of two of the players on the list, you are allowed to select up to two. And if you picked “Someone completely different” you better leave a comment and say who, or else… well, you’re no fun.

In the meantime, take it to the hoop, Buckets. Maybe you’re just playing like you.

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Posted in Lil Buckets, Rookies |

Mood Right Now:

Ready

This time the kids go to LSU to check out Marcus Thornton’s old stomping grounds. I think my personal highlight is when the 6-year-old kid runs up to the tiger fence and yells, “Hey kitty kitty!” and both rookies run away. Or when Buckets makes a little tiger noise. You decide for me.

As always, we thank the Hornets for dragging their rookies out and recording this stuff for our entertainment. In case you missed the previous installment, in which Darren and Marcus visit a California Pizza Kitchen UCLA, it’s here.

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Posted in Goofy Hornets Video, HypeMeter, Lil Buckets, Lil Dimes, Rookies |

Mood Right Now:

Tired

Kelly Dwyer on Ball Don’t Lie:

These guys are really, truly, giving great effort. Jeff Bower has been the coach of the Hornets for about four months, and he’s had Chris Paul(notes) on hand for less than half that time, and yet he’s had this team playing .500 ball in the West. It’s a phenomenal accomplishment, because more than any other team with any other player, the ball really rolls right off the table once you take Paul away. Bruce Sutter-styled dropoff, my man.

But the Hornets worked their way back. These two rookies are unflappable, Darren Collison(notes) might be a bit excitable, but Marcus Thornton(notes) is as cool as … geez, don’t touch that! That’s freezing. Damn.

When are we going to start considering this kid for the Sixth Man Award?

And speaking of dropoff, after Collison, on the Hornet bench? Darius Songaila(notes), and Aaron Gray(notes). Every opposing announcing duo laughs at Gray when he comes off the bench. Seriously. Every one.

The Hornets are always there, though. So much respect for this team. Give ‘em a watch if you can.

I’m really glad someone else (besides our little band of Hornets fans) sees this. I know we’ve lost, what, eight out of the last ten, and it’s hard to get used to the losing. But damned if I’m not having so much more fun watching this team lose than watching last year’s group of disappointed vets. I’m now truly at the point where Thornton and Collison are worth the price of admission, and don’t look now but David West has actually done a pretty good job leading this team lately.

Marcus Buckets gettin more buckets

6th Man of the Year, though? I’m happy someone brought this up, although just like the rookie honors, I think we can blame Byron Scott for blowing Thornton’s chances early. From every indication, from LSU to summer league (led all rookies in scoring) to preseason (outplayed Devin Brown and Morris Peterson yet unfairly was the guy starting the year in a suit), he could have been doing this all along for the Hornets given the opportunity. However. For your consideration:

Buckets Post-All Star Break

30 minutes
21.5 points
4.2 rebounds
47.2% shooting … FROM THREE
48.5% overall
1.5 assists, 1.5 TOs, 1.1 steals
All off the bench

I think I speak for us all when I say, “Eeep.”

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Posted in Byron the Mastermind, Lil Buckets, Media Watch, Rookies |

Mood Right Now:

Still standing

Per game stats are totally yesterday. Advanced stats are the only thing to use if you really want to sound educated about the game. What we bring you is neither. There’re plenty of good Hornets sites that do that. We bring you inane facts, only marginally “stats,” and as likely to predict results as Voodoo or Bible verses: ticket faces. That’s right. Ticket faces.

In years past, Hornets’ season tickets have featured Hornets’ players, and we’ve used that to karmically prognosticate results, based on the cosmic attunement inherent to each individual. This year, though, with new ticket looks, we’ve expanded our reach. Now, instead of just one indicator of results, we’ve compiled three rotating features and translated them into the future, like speaking to the Fates themselves.

As you can see, Hornets’ season tickets come in either blue, gold, or purple. They also either feature the Fleur-de-Bee, Nola Horn, or Hugo logo. Lastly, they are sponsored by either Capital One, Cox, or 7-Up. Although you’d think that things like player execution, coaching, or whether a butterfly in India flaps its wings would determine the outcome of games, it’s actually the confluence of the not-so-mystical symbols on these ticket faces. True story.

Anywho, to start with, you want a Creole blue ticket. Yup, those are 9-3 this season. Next, you’d want purple tick, at 7-4. But, if you get a Mardi Gras gold face, you’re pushing it at 5-4. If you don’t have season tickets yourself, shame on you. Go get some for next year. But for now, ask around, your neighbor will clue you in to what the game’s ticket face is.

As for logos, the proven winner, at 12-4, is the Fleur-de-Bee. The Nola Horn, at 6-2, ain’t bad either. Just, for the love of Zeus, don’t get Hugo on a ticket; at 3-5, his presence is the single greatest indicator of defeat. Corporate sponsors show just as much difference: Capital One rocks it at 9-2, Cox is a close second at 7-4, while 7-Up is the only other non-winning factor, at 5-5.

Unsurprisingly then, the Blue-Nola Horn-Capital One ticket, with a .774 winning percentage is like the other team kissing your ring. On the other hand, the Gold-Hugo-7-Up ticket, is the kiss of death. What you’re probably wondering, then, is what does this mean for our near future? Like Friday’s game?

Denver is a tough foe, admittedly. But that’s hardly relevant. Here’s what is: a Purple-Fleur-de-Bee-7-Up ticket. It’s a clusterfuck. Seriously. Purple’s good, Fleur-de-Bee is great, but that 7-Up is a killer. On average, the combination is only 15^th out of 27 possibilities. Ehh. On the other hand, the numbers still say we will win almost two out of every three such games. That sounds better. I’m going with that. Look for the Bees to upset the Deadwood Nuggets.

[Note from Ticktock6: It is our belief that the Hornets organization's failure to keep ticket statistics directly led to them missing out on the Western Conference Finals 2 years ago. The Mo Pete ticket was the only ticket that year without a winning record, and they put his face on the Spurs Game 7 ticket. A little research and a staggering playoff loss could have been easily avoided.]

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Posted in Hornets, I Amuse Myself |

Mood Right Now:

Sarcastic

D West: For the love of god, if you lose Anthony Morrow one more time I am going to come over there and kick your ass. I’ma slap you in the face like Dirk.

Pose: But–

D West: Shut up, Pose. Man, what is up with you this month? You give away and-1s like they’re candy. Defensive stopper my ass. And what happened to your three?

Pose: I just hit a three. It was a big one.

D West:  You have made 6 field goals in the last ten games.

Pose: That can’t be true. Total?

D West: Total. Let us not forget how you only played 10 minutes against Memphis and managed to rack up five fouls and lose the game in the last 7 seconds.

Pose: Aren’t you guys over that? It was last week.

D West: No one is over that. Back me up here, Darius.

Songaila: No one is over that.

D West: Marcus?

Marcus: Were yall talking? ‘Cause all this talking is getting in the way of me scoring.

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Posted in D West Mothaf*@kas!, I Amuse Myself, Pocketfulla Pose |

Mood Right Now:

Get that weak sh– outta here

Admittedly, since the New Orleans Hornets landed Chris Paul, it’s been easy to be a fan. After being thrown into the deep West, the once-Playoff-worthy Hornets nose-dived into one of the worst years in franchise history, short as it is. But then we drafted this kid that somehow three other teams didn’t sense would be a once-in-a-generation talent. Other than one half-blind thieves’ fan (yes, Utah, you stole our team and colors and we tend not to forget things like that), Chris was the unanimous Rookie of the Year in 2005-06, and we started to believe things would be okay, even though still suffering from the aftereffects of Hurricane Katrina, and with our team still playing in Oklahoma City.

Injuries tarnished the next year, but then, back in New Orleans, the Hornets suddenly were contending with the Lakers for the top spot in the West, and Chris was contending for MVP, and, yeah, our coach won the yearly honor for turning the ship around. We believed that just as he did in Jersey, this coach would take us to the Finals. Life as a Hornets fan was easy. Two of every three games was a win. We had the All-Star Game in Nola, featuring two Hornets’ players and our coach, and Chris Paul was hailed as the Savior of Basketball in New Orleans. As fans, we honestly, honestly believed that when the media talk of Kobe, Lebron, and Wade faded in May and the dust settled, it was Chris and the Hornets that they’d be talking about in June.

Except nothing’s that easy in the chaos of the NBA, and you learn that nothing can be taken for granted; there are no guarantees. Even if you have one of the top three talents in the League. In hindsight, you begin to respect the Pistons and Pacers of old, the Lakers and Mavs now, and all the other teams who are there every year, playing late into the Second Season and legitimately fighting for Rings. For Hornets’ fans, 2008-09 was a rough one, marred again by injuries, but still, at least we were in the Playoffs, which is, of course, why our guys play the game. Even if it didn’t end like we wanted, we’d find redemption the next year.

But then a 3-7 start that even Chris Paul couldn’t save, a coach that lost his team, and then his job, and we all felt sucker-punched. We had assumed the prior year was the aberration, not our success of two years ago. Were we wrong? Did we or did we not have three career all-stars? Did we or did we not have the X-Factor of back-ups in Ringmaster, James Posey? Did we not have two promising rookies that tore up the Summer League? What was wrong with this team? The only bright spot was a sterling home record to give us our money’s worth for our ticket price purchases; but this was overshadowed by the team’s utter inability to win on the road and a porous defense. Then injuries started creeping in again, and then seats that were sold stopped being bought. Those of us, who out of habit, still look around the Arena at the start of every game to gauge the attendance, figured with the Saints’ success, there was less attention on basketball, generally, but the empty seats would be temporary, right? We’d heal up, pull ourselves into the Playoffs, football would end, and the sell-outs would ensue, right? Kind of. That was the plan before Chris got injured.

Life, generally speaking, is a creature of chaos, not bound to order or rules, no matter how hard we try to insist otherwise; the NBA is little different, and perhaps, even a hyperbole of life’s ordinary upheaval: where all the chaos is played out in front of us, to be taped, recorded, and Tivo’d for instant re-watching and slow-motion back angle reviews again and again, concomitant with the back-room deals and quiet trades that transform even the most stable teams out from under us. So, as fans, our neat little plan to back a yearly winner is subject to that beyond our control, and when our expectations collide with a harsh reality, it can take a toll on that which makes us want to be fans in the first place. But one thing I can say about this Hornets team, which may yet serve them well in the short weeks to come: they are fighters. In few games, win or lose, have they refused to fight, to give it their all. Even as they make frustrating mistakes—bad passes, errant dribbles, stupid fouls—they’re trying their hardest. On most nights, they give us the opportunity to experience a wondrous sense of vicarious agency were anything can happen. And on some nights, maybe even Amazing will happen.

That’s why I became a basketball fan. And in New Orleans, where we look-out for anything that’s ours and jealousy guard it even as we willingly share it with our friends and visitors, a paradox that escapes many transients to our City, we’re still excited about the Hornets and support them without reservation. That won’t stop anytime soon, despite all the panic-mongers who have been on the blogs and boards from our first loss telling everyone to blow the team up and start over. If you’re one of those types, then maybe you just don’t get it. Maybe you never will. And maybe you were the one walking out of a 7 point game with 4:32 to go.

It’s hard to be a fan of a bubble-team with higher expectations. But it’s still basketball. And the Hornets are our team. All the hindsight in the world can tell you what they’re doing wrong. But seeing how hard they work to make it right, makes it worth it. I’m impressed with Jeff Bower, and believe he has us moving in the right direction. We have a solid core and a respectable bench, when healthy. Our rookies are fantastic, and, of course, we have Chris Paul, who is still our Savior. Nonetheless, with all the adversity we’ve faced this year, maybe we won’t make the Playoffs. But that’s okay, because I believe that if they don’t become who we think they can be this year, they will next year. Or the next year after that. I’ll wait.

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Posted in Feature, Hornets |

Mood Right Now:

Proud in Teal

Did a little gameday Q&A action. Check it out here.

And then check out the game on ESPN. The Hornets kind of need this one.

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Posted in Rivals |

Mood Right Now:

Lounging

Hee hee, look at Darren Collison bringing the Krispy Kremes! But I’m confused though: they didn’t talk about the 6 hours of prep Gil McGregor and Bob Licht put in to bring us all those great puns…

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Posted in Hornets Family |

Mood Right Now:

Cold