1. I didn’t like the trade. I heard the dude was mad crazy.

The Hornets have great chemistry, and they genuinely seem to enjoy being around each other, and I was worried that that would get messed up when you integrate a guy who’s been a locker room problem. Then he got here and played with good flashes, but appeared generally out of sync. Played aggressively, but took some junky shots. Then he got injured. Then he wasn’t on the bench because he “forgot to bring clothes that went with the dress code,” which we thought might be secret code for, “Seriously? Are you in B. Scott’s doghouse already? You just got here!” Then he was injured some more.

This week we have Bonziiiii. He outscored the Rockets 20-10 in the fourth quarter. And you know, after the Spurs game last week it occurred to me that if he’s an asshole, then the Hornets just might need an asshole. For instance, I am already starting to trust him to regulate if he’s on the floor and someone pushes Chris Paul around. He might get all up in the shooter’s face on D, he might gnaw someone’s leg off. He just has this crazy glint in his eye. You know what I’m talking about.

2. Please tell me someone else thinks the Jumbotron cartoon they debuted at last night’s game is the pure drug-induced fun I think it is.

I will describe it. First, the official headshot the Hornets use for Bonzi Wells is hilarious to begin with. His eyes are half-closed. He isn’t smiling. He’s wearing a headband, but you can’t see his head over the top of it because his head’s sort of tilted back. So it may be a turban. He may be high. It may, in fact, be an actual mugshot. No one knows.

So. Some interns in the Hornets’ office got high this week and decided Bonzi’s emergence needs to be celebrated by a fun Jumbotron graphic they can roll out when he scores. I will endeavor to do it justice.

First there is a bonsai tree. Yes, a little green cartoon tree. Which says BONZI over it in Japanese-esque lettering. Then they pop up his headshot. It starts really small, then it spins, growing bigger and bigger until it fills up the screen. This would be way less funny if it wasn’t a headshot that has the ability to SCARE SMALL CHILDREN.

I swear, this thing kills me. I laughed so hard.

3. When the team came back from halftime, I saw him standing near the bench chatting with the suit-clad Rasual Butler and downing a Red Bull.

Practice? Bonzi don’t need no practice. He needs Red Bull, bitches.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 21st, 2008 at 12:30 am and is filed under Hornets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.