The 18,280: Hornets, we need to talk. It’s the beginning of the 4th quarter. You’re down 89-81. Deep breath. Whaaaat are you doing?
Hornets: Trying to shave this lead down to under 8 points and failing?
The 18,280: Do you want to win this game?
Hornets: Yes.
The 18,280: No, I mean, do you really want to win this game? Because you’ve got to want it.
Hornets: Look, Chris Paul is sitting because of foul trouble. We’ve got our backups in, and Jannero Pargo, who hasn’t been able to hit the broadside of a barn in approximately the last six games, is running the floor. We’ve got David West, who’s got to be getting tired because we’re pretty sure he’s planning to play the entire 48 minutes. And every time we get it close, they take us right back out of it again.
The 18,280: You remember San Antonio? You remember they were getting physical, and you were getting taken out of the game, both mentally and on the scoreboard. You remember how we decided we weren’t going to let cheap shots and shoddy officiating cause our team to lose the game. And we started to boo. We booed them every time they touched the ball, on every single possession, for the rest of the third quarter and into the fourth. I think we singlehandedly made them throw the ball out of bounds at least three times, so rattled were they by our incessant and hostile booing. You weren’t expecting it, and neither were they. We just wanted to let ya know… we’ll do that again. We’ll do that for you.
Hornets: We admit, we could use the help.
The 18,280: I mean, we will go off. But we need a sign. You’ve got to give us a sign.
Jannero Pargo: 3 points! 2 points! 91-90 Boston.
The 18,280: Right, you want it? We’ll help you get it. But we’re warning you, it’s gonna get LOUD in here.
Celtics: Damn, this sucks. We haven’t scored in over five minutes. We had this game locked down, and now we’re throwing the ball out of bounds, or directly into Bonzi Wells’ hands, and 90% free throw shooters are missing. What the hell is this? It’s like a friggin’ voodoo curse. Why are these fools booing us? What did we even do? WHAT THE HELL?
Hornets: We’re on a 9-0 run! We can win this game.
The 18,280: Damn right you will win this game.
Byron Scott: I want to talk to CP3. If only he could hear me. Oh well. Nice corner shot there.
Hornets: Can I ask you something? Why did you do it?
The 18,280: Well, to be honest, you needed us earlier this season. And we weren’t there for you. New Orleans wasn’t there for you. We feel awful about that, we really do. We’d like to make it up to you. We want you to stay, you know. We’re really trying here. We may come to the party late, but once we’re there, we don’t half-ass it. We’ve sold out the last 8 out of 13 games. We’ve got a 9-game winning streak at home. Tonight was the largest crowd of the season. In the last three weeks, we’ve shown the Jazz, Spurs, Lakers, Rockets, and Celtics that you can’t expect to come into this building and win. We are not who we were in December. And neither are you guys.
Hornets: Ya know, it was just two months ago that every city’s paper was writing articles making jokes about our “home court advantage.” This is… It’s magic.
The 18,280: No. It’s you.
I feel like Montgomery Brewster at the end of the movie, Brewster’s Millions, when the interior decorator, Marilyn, has finally finished his apartment. And he says, “It’s perfect. This is the place I want to die.” And then she tears it all down because he’s out of money. This post will go with time as others come in above it. But it’s IT. This is the perfect post. This post is why this blog exists. I tip my hat to you ticktock6. And to the Hornets. And to the 18,280. All of whom made it possible. Thank you all.
Anyone still want to jump on? There’s still plenty of room. I’ll be making stops in the CBD and Metairie this week. I’ll also be making stops on the Northshore and the Westbank soon to pick more of you up. Any questions, ask Mikey, because he’s driving me.
Sincerely,
The Bandwagon
Get a load of this, ticktock. This could help to ease the rage against ESPN. Well, not likely, but you cannot ignore Chris Paul. The following is an exerpt from ESPN’s latest Weekend Dime by Marc Stein:
“You can argue that I’ve slighted him again by not leading off our weekly West review with Chris Paul, but who knows? Maybe that’s a good thing for the Hornets and their fans. Maybe that’s one of the factors fueling their priceless point guard.
Here’s what we know for sure: Paul is simply refusing to allow know-it-alls like me to get away with suggestions that the MVP race is strictly a Kobe-versus-LeBron sprint. The Hornets entered the weekend with a 7-3 record in March, even though David West missed five of those games.
And here’s what Paul thinks of our recent column that ranked New Orleans’ schedule over the final 20-ish games of the season as the hardest schedule for any of the West’s top nine teams: Paul is averaging 25.3 points, 13.2 assists and 2.8 steals this month while shooting (no misprint) 59.9 percent from the floor and 48.4 percent on 3-pointers.
Not sick enough for you? Paul awoke Friday having already recorded nine games this season with at least 20 points and 15 assists.
The rest of this league has accounted for eight such games. Combined.
And now he’s even filling up a building the skeptics said couldn’t be filled, which certainly can’t hurt Paul’s MVP argument. The Celtics’ arrival Saturday — and let me repeat, as an aside, that Kevin Garnett still has to figure in high in the balloting given how ruthless Boston continues to be — will mark the Hornets’ eighth sellout in their past 13 games.
It makes sense, then, that the Hornets have launched their own Web site — CP3MVP.com — to help keep their guy’s name at the forefront of the MVP discourse.”
End Quote
Those stats are other-worldly. Are you kidding me, more 20pt/15asst games then the rest of the Association combined?!?! I’m starting to think Chris Paul is from Krypton, or perhaps he was a victim of some nuclear meltdown or something.
wow…no’s baby face criminal is more jihad that al qaeda…cp needs a turbin and a beard(can he even grow one yet?)
I saw that… he just got named Player of the Week, btw. Probably because of those stats.