a.k.a. Ticktock6 talks on camera… and talks… and talks…
Someone please tell me it wasn’t as bad as I remember it being! As I stood there rambling and sneaking sideways glances at myself (“SELF! We’re on the court! We’re on the jumbotron!”) on the screen, I realized that I had no clue what I was actually saying. No, seriously. It’s like I blacked out. Clearly Rob Nice does not know me. Because then he’d know that if I’m on a roll, you have to stop me. Haha.
I have gotten a lot of nice emails and messages about my video, so I just want to thank everyone! People actually came up to us in the arena because they recognized us, which felt so weird. For those who asked, the song is “Change in My Life” by Rockapella. Lots more about last night coming, but I’ve got to go through over 100 photos first.
Go Hornets! To watch Hornets/Mavs on CST or ESPN… that is the question. Oh, to be able to have such choices in life!
AND OH HOLY SHIT. You know how you watch on TV when they pass out the Division Championship t-shirts and hats, and the team stands around hugging and watching the season highlight video, and it’s this moment you think you will never forget, and you can almost imagine you were there?
And I was standing on my seat, and the usher didn’t even yell at me, and the guys were passing around the hats and putting them on, and everyone was smiling. And it was everything you thought it would be.
Losses to the Lakers and Kings? Eh. Dropped 3 out of 4? Pshaw. It could be worse. We could be racked by injuries. We could have traded away all our assets. We could be starting D-Leaguers in an effort to “evaluate talent.” And speaking of trades and D-League, probably you are all wondering in the midst of the final days of the NBA regular season, what ever happened to the Hornets’ OTHER Iowan, Adam Haluska?
Of course you are. No word on whether the Hornets will invite him back to training camp next year, but Adam signed up with Iowa’s D-League team, the Energy. Suddenly, he found himself playing just under 40 minutes a game over 11 games. In doing so, he put up a FG% of 42%, while shooting only 30% from 3-point range, though managing almost 19 points a game. He also added about 5 rebounds, 3 assists, and 1 steal per contest.
As someone who always wanted to see Adam get a chance to play, they’re not exactly the killer numbers I’d expect from someone who I thought might have major league potential, but then again, he is a rookie. For reference sake, had he played enough games (to qualify for the league leaders), he would have ended up ranked #13 in average points scored and #27 in 3FG%. Although he would be 11th in FT%, at an unconscious 88%.
Regardless of what happens to Adam next, I wish him the best. Oh yeah. And I hope the Hornets win big tomorrow!
I don’t want to acknowledge that the Hornets let last night happen, so I’m going to do what I usually do in my little world of denial; that is, ignore the game and blog about something completely different.
Namely, that the Hornets held a contest for the best fan video about why Chris Paul is MVP. On Friday we found out that my video won! Which means we are going to meet Chris Paul on Tuesday. Oh, and sit courtside for the Clippers game. No, I am not making this up.
What We Won
2 floor seats to Hornets vs. Clippers, the last home game
a limo to and from the game (arriving promptly at 4:30 on Tuesday at HornetsHype.com’s headquarters, a.k.a. our apartment)
meet Chris Paul
the video will appear on the Jumbotron sometime that night
a feature in Hornets Bee-Mail
a feature in the Hornets first playoff program
So. This means a couple of things. First of all, I need to get to work editing my video (some of the stats have become outdated) and burning it onto 2 DVDs for the Hornets people. Second, LIKE OMG I TOTALLY NEED TO PLAN MY OUTFIT!1!!11 (Kidding. Actually, not really, because I was going to wear my TC #6 jersey, but I’m not sure about the etiquette of doing that when you’re getting pics taken with CP3.) Third, I need to come up with something supercreative to make Chris Paul do so I can blog the photo! So if you have an awesome idea, let me know! Fourth, if you know anyone who wants tickets to the game, which I believe is sold out, we’re probably going to have 2 lower bowl tickets for sale. They’re in Section 105, top row. Email ticktock6 AT gmail.com if you’re interested. Include $$.
First off, At the Hive has an excellent extended recap of last night’s 104-107 loss to the Lakers. Why? Because he was there. I was not there, so I’m going to do some stats right now instead. Briefly, though. I had to DVR Battlestar Galactica to watch this game, and it is calling to me.
The Good: 1.) I loved the Hornets’ tenacity coming back from a 30-pt deficit. It reminded me why this team is so exciting to watch. 2.) I don’t think the game was decisive in a big way for either Kobe or CP3’s MVP chances. They both had big plays. They both had solid, not outstanding (for them), statistical nights. Those members of the media who would vote just based on this one game are idiots. Yes, Kobe’s team won. But here’s a little known fact: the Hornets have won games too this season. 55 of them, actually. I know, right? You weren’t aware?
The Bad: 1.) Hornets still lost a close one that I thought they were going to pull out. 2.) I was going to snark on ESPN here, but then I realized it was J.A. Adande who wrote it and the team the Hornets played was the Lakers, so I’m not even going to bother. See how well I learn there.
The Ugly: 1.) The first quarter. Lord, but it was ugly. I realize the Hornets are a second half team, but they cannot allow themselves to get behind like that in the playoffs. 2.) Hilton Armstrong. I like him, but it has to be said. He comes in for Tyson Chandler, and the first thing he does is drop the ball on what would have been a guaranteed 2 points if Tyson had caught the pass. Things did not get better from there.
And now on to the Hornets’ Magic Number. It’s 3.
The Hornets need to win all three games left on the schedule to keep the #1 seed. This means beating Sacramento tonight on the second half of the back-to-back, the Clippers on Tuesday, and the Mavs in Dallas on Wednesday (this game was just picked up by ESPN yesterday).
If the Hornets win 2 out of 3, they clinch the division title.
Lakers are the closest, at 0.5 games back, after last night’s loss.
San Antonio and Houston are 1.0 games back, but New Orleans has the tiebreaker on both.
Since Phoenix lost last night, they can’t catch the Hornets for #1. This obviously makes statistical sense, because the Lakers clinched the division last night. New Orleans no longer holds the tiebreaker on L.A.
Spurs play the Lakers Sunday. Gotta be watching this one closely.
Playing the role of “We’re not making the playoffs but maybe we’ll destroy someone’s hopes” is the Sacramento Kings. Their remaining schedule? Get this: New Orleans, San Antonio, LA. Quite possibly, as the Kings go, so goes the race for #1.
Hornets’ last game at Sacramento was a 103-112 loss, a.k.a. “The Game We Left a Perfectly Good Mardi Gras Parade Early For, Only To Find New Orleans Down 26 to a Shitty Team– WTF? I Missed Muses For This?” Possibly the low point of the season.
I’m just throwing this out there: the Hornets dropping to the #2 seed would mean they’d avoid the 2nd round matchup with Utah, the only team in the West I don’t feel confident they could beat in a 7-game series.
In case you missed it, it was hilarious. Chris Paul, man… always says the right thing. And he’s so young. How lucky are the Hornets? No, seriously. How lucky? Interview also features D-West, Hilton Armstrong, Julian Wright, Rasual Butler, and Ryan Bowen goofing off in the first row, like they’ve never been on TV before.
So just to be funny one night when we might have been drinking (OK, that’s a huge lie– we were wasted), we stuck the Hornets winter hat over the top of the Tyson Chandler bobblehead like a cape and declared him Obi-Ty Kenobi. Then I woke up the next morning and it was still there, so I took a picture of it. And when I started this blog in January in a fit of jealous rage, due to the lack of local/national notice of the Hornets’ rise to prominence, I stuck Obi-Ty Kenobi at the top of the sidebar with the quote, “I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
Because if you are not cracking Star Wars quotes while posing your Hornets bobblehead dolls for your blog, clearly you do not understand how to truly maximize the time-wasting potential of the internet.
Anyhow, it’s April 10th. The Hornets still hold the top seed in the West with four games left to play. The Chris Paul MVP hype machine is rolling, after a slow start. Last night the Hornets hit 55 wins to officially become the best Hornets team in the 21-year history of the franchise.
And I wanted to give a shout-out to Obi-Ty Kenobi, because I’m taking him down. It’s been fun, Ty, but you’re being replaced by a new bobblehead tableau. As you can see now to the right, we have the Hornets Empire.
Fear it.
(Oh, you thought I was kidding when I said I was going to pose those bobbleheads in fun ways. That’s funny. Also of mild hilarity are the three Photo Booth shots that my cat jumped into before I managed to get that one, which I am not posting. Don’t worry.)
All that love for us two weeks ago… the features, the photos, the columns… and now? You have slain me with your betrayal, Adrian Wojanawawhatever. And, actually, at the same time provided a nice example for my 7th grade English class on how not to write a journalistic article. So hey, there’s that.
No one needs historical context to make the case for Bryant this year. His season stands on its own. At 29, this isn’t a lifetime achievement award.
OK, so it’s not a lifetime achievement award. I’m glad we established that… before writing an entire article explaining how it is a lifetime achievement award. That’s called a contradiction. Not to mention the glaring grammatical error in the last sentence. So the award is 29, eh?
There isn’t a player in the league that I love more to talk with, that I love more to watch play, than Paul.
Yet, he will have to go No. 2 on my ballot. He hasn’t been first-team All-NBA. He still hasn’t played in the postseason.
‘Cause the MVP is a postseason award, and it’s also based on what you did last year. Who knew? You know, I was gonna dissect this some more, but I decided it wasn’t worth the time. Suffice to say it’s a poorly written article saying that CP3 hasn’t been in the league enough years to be MVP this year.
At least this piece of garbage column comes complete with a photo of Kobe Bryant looking like a fish. At least they gave me that.
HornetsHype would like to send a shout out of congrats to Mr. Chris Paul, the MVP man himself, for displaying mad spelling prowess on top of his considerable balling skills.
They just did the “Year in Review” on Hornets Tonight, and they ran clips from the interviews CST has done with the players over the course of the season. Some funny, funny stuff there. The last question they always ask is, “If your car broke down and you had to call for help and spell the name of the street… how do you spell Tchoupitoulas?” I haven’t seen anyone get it right all season. Most of them just laugh and don’t even try. Or they go, “C-H-O-P-A… uh… T… uh… U-S?” Even the management staff couldn’t get it.
I gotta give Chris Paul a shout-out here. Surprisingly, he beat everyone else, only missing by one letter when he left out the second “U.” Nice spelling, CP3!
(Of course, out of all the Hornets, Chris Paul probably should have the best chance at knowing how to spell Tchoupitoulas Street, since he actually lives in the CBD.)
P.S. “The Crescent City Connection” is totally a better name for the CP-TC alley oop than the Big Easy, and I am endorsing its use here. Little bit of local color there! (For out of towners: The Crescent City Connection is the toll bridge connecting the East & West banks of the Mississippi. As in, “As I drove home over the Crescent City Connection, I daydreamed about all those flashy Crescent City Connections the Hornets were going to put up on the T-Wolves in the 1st quarter.” See how nice that works.)
Was there a full moon tonight? Detroit lost to the Knicks. Boston needed overtime to barely beat Milwaukee. And the Miami Heat won a game.
Meanwhile we were forced to watch the stultifyingly ugly… thing… that was the Hornets losing to the Jazz 77-66. Chris Paul played the worst game, possibly, of his career, scoring only 4 points. Entire minutes went by with both teams having turnover after turnover without resulting in points. Peja inexplicably sat in the moments he should have played. The officiating was stifling to the flow of the game in the 2nd, only to disappear in the 4th. Everyone was grabbing and bumping everyone. It was like… slogging through a field of mud for 48 minutes straight. And every time the mud starts to thin out and you pick up some speed, you trip over a rock. And at the end of it, you feel annoyed, slow, and dirty. Shit, the Jazz didn’t even play well. It was sort of like a pileup on the highway.
I think my little world will be happier if I pretend I was abducted by aliens for those missing 3 hours of my life… but I guess I can’t, because I just saw myself on the NBATV highlights. Which seems, unfortunately, to shoot all kinds of holes in the theory that I wasn’t there.
No, Chris! Tyson has it right. Whatever you do, don’t look at it!
Yeah, I got nothin’. Oh, except this.
