“…The Spurs fell into a burning ring of fire…”

Oddly similar to the first two, except diagonal and sponsored by Harrahs! I’m assuming they’re going to be laid out on the seats for us like last time (hey, Hornets people, do you listen to us?), free for everyone in attendance. Can you say… GOLD OUT!

We’re also going to get a Buzzfest from 6:00 PM- 8:00 PM (naturally), featuring Bag of Donuts. Game time for Game 5 is 8:30. Geaux Hornets!!

Unexpected, this is. And unfortunate.

You know how much I love seeing the Hornets get media hype. You know it’s the mission on which this site was built.

But there’s such a thing as overhype. I know, unbelievable, right?

Even I was rolling my eyes at the torrent of articles last week talking about the meteoric rise of the Hornets, the Changing of the Guard, and how Chris Paul is the Next Coming of Whoever and the Savior of Basketball. Partly because, well, yeah, the Hornets are up-and-coming. Thanks for finally noticing. But I thought it was overhype. It was too much too soon.

I thought, “Well, the Hornets needed playoff confidence, so maybe it’s OK?” But there’s a difference between confidence and believing your own legend. And maybe the Hornets started believing their legend, a little too much. See, that’s the thing about the media. They’re not content with you and your story. They’ve got to spin it, they’ve got to enlarge it, they’ve got to shape it into something else more exciting. That story? That’s not you. It’s something they made, and then called by your name. But you’re in trouble now. Now the Spurs believe their own legend. And if you’re the Hornets, that is the very last thing you wanted to let happen.

You thought the Spurs were going to be content to win one game in their castle? You thought they were going to roll over for you? You thought this was going to be easy?

And now here we are, tied 2-2, with essentially a must-win Game 5 at home. Simply put, if the Hornets drop this game, I’m not sure I believe they can pull this out. I went on one of the forums last night and had to sign off in disgust. Supposed Hornets fans, bragging about how they’d picked the Spurs in 6 from the beginning? Why would you brag about that? Jesus. “Let me go on a fan forum and brag about my own total douchebaggery.” Yeah, no thanks. With fans like that, who needs enemies? Is this how it’s going to end, before it’s even over?

No. That’s not the way to go. That’s not the way the Hornets are going to go. Dropping 4 straight? That hasn’t happened all season.

It comes down to this.

Tell us what we have to do.

It’s come down to this before. And before, and before. If you were there, you remember. You know what the power of the mob can do. The Hornets are 17-1 at home going back to February. If you want us to boo, we’ll boo every time they’re touching the ball. If you want us to scream, we’ll scream. If you ask for gold, we will give you gold. (And, in fact, more gold shirts are on the schedule for Tuesday night.)

And so, here’s my message to the Hornets: We’re your home advantage. You created us. You made us, from 8,000 half-assed people in the lower bowl to what we are today. It’s your advantage. You earned it. Just like you earned the right to be in a best-of-3, this week, with the defending champions. Me, personally? I will do whatever it takes. But unfortunately, guys, I don’t get to be on the court playing the game. That part’s up to you.

I somehow feel arts and crafts time coming on… and you know what that means.

FAN UP OR SHUT UP.

Coach Scott: With the regular season over, I imagine that you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

Chris Paul: You could say that.

Coach Scott: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he’s expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Chris Paul?

Chris Paul: No.

Coach Scott: Why not?

Chris Paul: ‘Cause I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of the game.

Coach Scott: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know, you can’t explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there’s something missing from the game. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there. Like a splinter in your mind–driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?

Chris Paul: The Playoffs?

Coach Scott: Do you want to know what they are?

Chris Paul: [nods his head]

Coach Scott: The Playoffs are everywhere, they are all around us thanks to David Stern. Even now, in this very room (although for the love of Zion do not watch the Celtics-Cavs series– it’s just plain ugly). Once you understand the NBA Playoffs you will see them when you look out your window, or when you open a newspaper. You will feel them when you have your days off or when you fall asleep or when you pay your considerable taxes. They are the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Chris Paul: What truth?

Coach Scott: That experience does not matter, Chris Paul. They would have you believe that like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch–until, of course, you have been there. [long pause, sighs] Unfortunately, no one can be told what the NBA Playoffs are. You have to see them for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. [In his left hand, Coach Scott shows a blue pill]

Chris Paul: [Watches Coach Scott patiently]

Coach Scott: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. [a red pill is shown in his other hand] You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Chris Paul: [Long pause; Chris Paul begins to reach for the red pill]

Coach Scott: Remember–all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.

Chris Paul: [Chris Paul takes the red pill and swallows it with a glass of water]

Coach Scott: You have to let it all go, Chris Paul. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.

Chris Paul: What will happen to me?

Coach Scott: You are The One, Chris Paul. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you.

Chris Paul: But I’m not the one with “Chosen One” tattooed on my back.

Coach Scott: That is irrelevant. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our destiny. I believe this postseason holds, for each and every one of your teammates, the very meaning of our lives. This is a war and we are soldiers. What if by Tuesday we beat the Spurs? And the Lakers after that? What if then we take out the scabs from the Eastern Conference and that war is over and we and we alone were NBA Champions? Isn’t that worth fighting for? Isn’t that worth dying for?

Chris Paul: Dying?

Coach Scott: You are The One, Chris Paul.

Chris Paul: NBA Champions?

Coach Scott: That’s right. This very season.

Chris Paul: Whoa. [Pauses] Are you saying I can choose whether we win or lose?

Coach Scott: No. You’ve already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.

Chris Paul: No. I can’t do that. I won’t.

Coach Scott: Well, you have to.

Chris Paul: Why?

Coach Scott: Because you’re The One.

Today we’ve got a guest post from one of our regular commenters. This is his story of how he became the Hornets fan that he is today…

“I wasn’t born one. There. I said it.

It was the fall of 1998. I had just gotten divorced and was nursing my wounds in a one bedroom apartment about an hour north of Sacramento, CA. My next door neighbor bore a striking resemblance to Will Ferrell and his personality fit one of his movie characters perfectly. He was also a diehard Lakers fan. Growing up in San Francisco, I was raised to despise all LA teams as if they were Satan incarnate. It just so happens, the Lakers were playing the Kings that year. I became an immediate Kings fan since they were playing the Lakers. I followed the Kings and rooted them on. I still have a license plate frame on my car from their 2001 season.

I moved to New Orleans and arrived New Years Day 2004. One of the first things I was told is that it was pitifully easy to get into Hornets games. Coming from around Sacramento, this did not compute. You couldnt get into Arco Arena without a second mortgage AND knowing someone. Nosebleed seats could be found on Ebay for $200+. I never saw a Kings game at Arco. For Christmas 2004, my brother gave me tickets to the Hornets-Kings at the Arena. Best present ever! My first basketball game with my fav team and my local team (who was #2 to me at the time). This was the season where the Hornets were on their way to the worst record in basketball history. They had 8 wins at that point, I think. The Kings LOST. I lost all respect for them. They traded my favorite players (including Peja). They brought in Artest. ‘Nuff said. Supporting my local team became a LOT easier. I saw a few games as I learned that basketball is more fun to watch live than on TV.

Then came that little storm we had. Overnight, I became militant New Orleans-proud. I got cushy job offers across the country that paid well. No thanks, I like my FEMA trailer. I went to all the games they had here when they were in OKC. The first game back was the Lakers. We lost. I didn’t care, they were BACK. I’ve been to as many games as I could reasonably pull off since then. Almost bought season tickets with some spare insurance money. This year was special from the start. They were looking GOOD. I became a Hornets booster. I suggested everyone should go to the games. Go to the games or we lose the team. Go TONIGHT! Just $10 and there isn’t a bad seat! GO! NOW!!!!! As the season progressed, it started to work. More and more people started going!

Then it hit me. I knew something as a former Kings fan Hornets fans didn’t know. Peja can hit three-pointers all day long, but he tended to choke rather badly in the post-season. I’ve seen him get 5 points in a game in Sac. Just when you thought you could count on him to put a game away, whiff. Airball. Dare I say something? Maybe if I ignored it, it wouldn’t happen again. After Game 1 with the Spurs, I told someone my fears. I prayed I didn’t jinx anything. 22 points. I don’t think he made 22 points in his postseason career in Sacramento.

God bless The New Orleans Hornets.”

This is one fan’s discovering-the-Hornets story. If you have one too, write it up and send it to me at ticktock6@gmail.com. I’ll post it on the site. The Hornets are converting people everywhere this season, and the Movement grows!

Because for once in the playoffs, the “other” Western Conference game was too early to cause me to narcoleptically drop into sleep (Seriously. I slept through both Lakers/Nuggets and Jazz/Rockets. I don’t think I’ve seen a single game from that side of the bracket), I actually watched it. OK, you try watching two teams you dislike play a Game 3 in front of fans who annoy the crap out of you. You gotta find something to amuse yourself.

Unsurprisingly, this game degenerated quickly into the gutter when mW brought up Andrei Kirilenko’s deal. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Kirilenko’s wife apparently gives him permission to sleep with one other woman per year. This is made twice as funny by the fact that AK-47 is, well, let’s just say he’s not the most attractive dude in the NBA.

So I stated that I would do any other Jazz starter on the floor over Kirilenko, including D-ron Williams (who, I’ve previously stated, both plays and looks like a bulldog) and Carlos Boozer’s eyebrows (they might be out to take over the world). I thought this was not too bold of a statement, since Kirilenko is just that skeevy.

Yeah. That was before ESPN put up Mehmet Okur’s mugshot on the screen, which has convinced me that he is in fact a vampire. No, seriously. I got it for you. See left. Tell me that man is not out to suck your blood. And it was also before I discovered the following set of incriminating photos of the Utah Jazz at a party. (At this point, I would like to thank the Internet for the joy it gives me on a daily basis.)

So, to sum up. I would like to state that this is an official takeback.

I would NOT do the Utah Jazz. And I don’t care about their series either.

I’m not worried about the Hornets. Today.

I suppose it was inevitable that the Spurs win a game. They didn’t win 4 championships by accident (you know, similar to how the Hornets tripped and fell into 2nd place in the West by accident). Not falling into a 3-0 hole was more urgent to them than grabbing this particular game on the road was to the Hornets. Still sucks, though. But all is not dire– this was a great game to watch, pretty much CP vs. TP duking it out, with the Spurs’ 3 point shooting and the Hornets’ lack thereof making up the difference in the final score. It was a close game, and they still couldn’t solve Chris Paul.

Hello, bench. Nice of you guys to drop by. Oh, wait. Not. We really needed a bigger benchspark-y performance by Pargo and Wells. They managed to combine for 4 of 15 and one Bonus!HeinousLateFoul that resulted in a 4 point play. And after Ely gave us some decent D in Game 2, he was nonexistent last night.

I know Chris Paul was amazing last night, etc., etc., with his 35 points and 9 assists. But does anyone miss Assisting Chris Paul just a little bit when Scoring Chris Paul is on the floor? Like maybe if it was 27 points and 17 assists the Hornets would have won. Now, I know Bruce Bowen was stifling Peja, which was smart coaching that finally appeared to work, but Mo Pete only took 3 shots, all threes, making one. We couldn’t have tried to find him on the floor, seeing as he was 5-5 in Game 2? I know at times CP3 took the shot because his options were taken out, but I don’t understand why the Hornets didn’t take advantage better when the Spurs were in the penalty early in the third quarter. Mo and Peja are shooters, but both can drive if they have to. And really, I thought they should have tossed Bonzi back in instead of Pargo, just to get more bodies down low. It was hard to tell, though, whether that was a lack of adjustment by the Hornets, the refs swallowing their whistles, or the Spurs playing carefully. And, oh D West. I love ya, but you kind of… sort of… OK, totally blew it at the end right when we could have gotten back in it. 3 missed free throws? And a couple of defensive plays where he looked like he gave up, marring an otherwise solid game.

The Hornets really need to prove they can win road games in the playoffs. Maybe on Sunday. In the meantime, let’s just sit back and watch the experts backpedal wildly on their overestimation of the greatness of the Hornets…

Byron Scott: I am intense.

Bonzi Wells: I am slightly blurry, possibly explaining why I miss open layups.

B. Scott: This tie chafes like Bruce Bowen on Peja. I cannot wait to change into my press conference tracksuit.

Bonzi: Must. Not. Lose. Headband. Ninja. Powers. Concentrated. In. Headband.

For a bit of mindless fun, check out the T.P.’s silly Hornets flash game.

Quick Gameplay Summary: You’re a Fleur de Bee. You get to shoot at little falling Spurs, Mavs logos that shoot red lasers at you, and yellow Kobes! If watching Kobe Bryant accept the his Lifetime Achievement MVP award last night was enough to make you want to blow junks, get even by blowing him into chunks! (Well, a little orange scribble anyway… haha.)

From the Times Picayune comes a sad story about a kid who died of cancer before he got his wish to see the Hornets play. He asked to be buried in his Chris Paul jersey. George Shinn sent flowers to the family and asked if he could help with funeral costs, and Chris Paul is going to write the kid’s name, Brian, on his shoes when he plays tonight. The article mentions that CP wanted to go to the funeral, but couldn’t because the Hornets have to travel. So, you know, if you weren’t already on board with the whole “Chris Paul is MVP and also a great guy” thing, you will be after you read this story.

Chris Paul doesn’t have to do the things he does. He could be indifferent. But he’s not. When I met him, he was polite and friendly– you could totally see how everyone says he’s a cool guy to be around. Hell, he’d watched all of his MVP videos and he knew exactly which one was ours. He didn’t have to care about this kid and his family, especially during the playoffs. But he did.

Speaking of CP3, this bit about what the various players did during the Game 1 Ring of Fire delay just goes to back up what I said about him in my Chris Paul Blog Day entry.

TNT had to awkwardly fill air time that they did not expect to occur (not their fault), so they performed the tried and true method of panning around the court and commenting on the players they saw. The cameras hit Tim Duncan, who sat on the bench with coach Greg Popovich, holding the skipper’s clipboard, drawing up fake plays that must have been hilarious by the way Popovich was laughing, and simply joking around. The cameras hit Bonzi Wells, who was having his own fun, showboating to the home crowd fans. But then the cameras hit Chris Paul, who simply stood there like mannequin, a steely gaze in his eyes that would have bordered on creepy had he been somebody who I met on the street. Chris Paul was not thinking about the hilarity of the situation at hand. He was not thinking about the crowd, nor was he thinking about the episode of Lost he had tivo’d, nor was he thinking about the ridiculously hot Hornets dancing squad, the Honeybees. He was thinking about basketball. Nothing else. Being a primary topic of discussion, TNT probably had Chris Paul on their cameras about four or five times, and he never lost that gaze.

More Hornets articles… Y’all know I love me some Bonzi. Here’s a nice article about him today from the San Antonio Express News. Damn, I wish I hadn’t read an article about Bonzi. It just reminds me how much I’d love a Red Bull right now. No joke.

And in case you missed it on Tuesday, there was a really sweet feature on David West and how he almost quit basketball after changing schools in high school.

Aaand I’ll probably be back in a couple hours with more stuff. Carry on, Buzz Nation.

Seeing as I started an ENTIRE BLOG devoted to the idea of “You need more Hornets in your life,” my biased self would like to state that HornetsHype wholly supports TrueHoop’s support of the New Orleans Hornets. Me supporting their support… it’s like a little circle of teal. It just warms my heart.

Speaking of TrueHoop, there was an amusing tidbit posted yesterday about how to make your own Manu Ginobili votive candle (skull head, #20 jersey, and all). So yours truly commented thusly: “That’s all right. New Orleans fans’ backyard voodoo altar > San Antonio votives. We put da gris gris on them, bebe.”

Someone in the comment thread asked what that meant, and I represented for New Orleans thusly:

“Gris gris… It’s like… if you took some grave dirt, and some of Manu Ginobili’s hair, and snuck behind the bench and cut off a corner of Tony Parker’s jersey… and put it all in a little bag, and voila!”

So there. You cannot say my mission is not to educate.

Welcome, friendly bandwagoners of America! Talk to me when you’re wearing as much teal as I am (see photo)… I keep saying the HypeMeter is at an all time high, and then it just gets a little higher! Now where to find some grave dirt…

EDITED: I lied, though. This is the best Hornet wackiness the internet has to offer today. Just watch the whole thing and you’ll see. Watch till right after Tony Parker’s interview.