Hornets Hype

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

(This one is reposted from 11/10/08, but we like to think it’s a Hornets Hype classic.)

So the official Hornets site is going to be featuring new fan fave James Posey’s thoughts from time to time this season. I thought the first installment was kinda tame, although the accompanying pic is all kinds of awesome. But whatev. The real James Posey is blogging right here on Hornets Hype. Witness a day in the life of Poz…

8:10 AM. Outta bed. Sunny. Good morning, 504!

8:20 AM. Was driving home from the game Saturday night, listening to the postgame show, when this dude calls in and says, “I have a question for you, Joe. I think my girlfriend’s about to leave me for James Posey. He’s just that awesome. Do you have any advice?” I shoulda called in and told him, “Ain’t nothing can be done about that situation.” The ladies love me. I know how to hustle, ya know what I mean? Yeah, you do.

8:50 AM. My young man Juju called. Seems he read some shit about me possibly mentoring him, teach him some long-limbed defensive hustlin goodness. I said, go pick me up some breakfast and I’ll think about it. He asks, Do I want any coffee with that? But I tell him, No, son. Do I look like I need coffee? I wake up amazing. Still, I will instruct this young one in my ways. If it doesn’t go well, I can always kick him out of The Club. I was wearing tall socks when he was still in diapers. So I can always, ya know, hold that over his head.

9:20 AM. Ate bacon and champagne for breakfast.

11:56 PM. You will not believe this shit. This is what goes down in the locker room before practice today.

Me: So on the way here, I helped this old lady cross the street to get to the bus stop. She was real nice.

Chris: No way! That happened to me too. Plus I gave a homeless guy $500 on my way to City Hall to sit in on a meeting with Ray Nagin about the city’s crime problem.

Me: ………

The hell. That goody two-shoes. No one out-Poseys James Posey. Gonna have to watch this one carefully…

12:42 PM. Hit 200 threes in practice. They were all clutch.

2:50 PM. Uploaded pics from Halloween to MySpace. Partied on Bourbon Street with the fellas. I went as me. Self-explanatory.

3:35 PM. Hate off days. No one to dominate. I once went 12 hours without blinking, on an off day. Just because I can.

5:40 PM. Paul texted me. Said he missed my hug before the game last night. Texted him back and told him sorry, you know my hugs cost $5.5 mil a year. That’s just business. Haha. Then decided that was too mean and texted him a smiley. I ain’t running a charity operation here. Just kidding. I’m a good dude. I once stole Kobe’s sandwich, but I put it back.

6:23 PM. Dude on Canal Street asked me where I got my shoes. Beat that scamming motherf@cker up, and then told him, “In yo ass.”

8:45 PM. There was a spider above my TV, up on the wall. Was v. distracting. Stared at it until it burst into a teeny flame, sizzled, and died.

10:05 PM. Took relaxing shower. Sang. No, I won’t tell you what.

11:06 PM. Lake Show better watch out on Weds, is all I’m gonna say. Can’t outhustle a hustler. Been 4 months but they still wake up in the middle of the night, all sweaty, seeing a dark shadow looming over them, lunging for their souls, or maybe a loose ball. That shadow is me.