“heya baby! Want some BEEAAADDSSSS?”

Yeah, I had an inner war over the Sixers. I said, no they’re the East. But then I said, no they were supposed to contend with Brand. And now that today’s news says Brand is done for the season, that makes me feel guilt. Maybe they should be invited after all. Come on up, Philly.

I had to call some friends in Denver because bayou guys have serious problems when drinking at altitude. Hell, we can get a monster headache from just being at a these heights, and it’s worse if the Zombies pound ya back in the noggin. They said chew those charcoal hangover pills before you start drinking — now they tell me! One time I caught a headache from watching the Saints from the top row of the Superdome, but that was a blend of a altitude, a few Bloody Marys, and watching a Rick Venturi defense lose to Minnesota that year we shoulda made the playoffs.

Anyway, I told those Denver dudes that whining about ‘Melo not making the All-Star game was turning them into baked brie loving chardonnay sipping know nothing fans, so they chilled. Dey axed if we’d let ‘em hang because the Nuggets still don’t play D and are likely to bounce outta the playooffs faster than I can sneeze, so I said sure, as long as they bring the charcoal pills.

Finally, I think we ought to let 76er fans join us. Let’s agree, we all owe Andre Miller for that foul that got us Free Chicken; also there was so much hype about Sixers scaling the mountain once Elton Brand bailed on the Clips, they are worthy. I know the Phillies won the Series, but Philadelphia fans understand sports futility pretty well and they promised a few cases of rum to keep the partay on. Just no “Rocky” theme songs was my only stipulation…

It’s not too big a thatch roof here on the ledge, but it’s more fun to suffer schaudenfraude with a bunch of drinkers from the best of the rest in the NBA. Great excuse for a party!

Also, Mencia can suck it. He’s not funny. I don’t know why he’s allowed to step foot in this city.

Apt words about Houston. They can’t even win a freakin’ playoff series, so we definitely don’t want their taint of desperation around. A fight would bust out…

We might consider letting Hawks fans on the ledge, strictly a look and leave invitation, but they need to glimpse the mighty heights of hoops disappointment cuz one series vs the Celtics, while heroic, isn’t quite enough to stay on this ledge.

I don’t think I’m coming down until Tyson and CP play a few games at the same time as all our starters, so I’ll fo’ sho’ be up in here thru the all-Star Game. Do you think I can bean alleged comedian what’s-his-fake-name Mencia during the Orpheus parade for all the moronic drool he spouted about New Orleans after the levees broke? It would take my mind off worrying about the Hornets awhile. I believe I can hurl a squishy satsuma that far from here…