Hornets Hype

As many of you all know, TT6 and I have been busy during Mardi Gras, parading, carousing, and such.  Plenty of celebrities in town.  Kid Rock pointed at us.  We caught beads and doubloons from Val Kilmer.  But our biggest surprise was meeting Axl Rose and his mate, Buckethead, and finding out that Axl is a huge basketball fan, who despite calling L.A. home,  knew a lot about the Hornets, and the NBA in general.  It was obvious he’d been out partying a bit, but was interesting, nonetheless.  Here’s how it went:

Hornets Hype: so you say you’ve watched several Hornets games this seasor.  Do you feel like our team is underachieving?

Axl Rose: They’re Scraped.  Some may convince you no one can break through; I’m here to tell you you’re worth more than they tell you.

Hornets Hype: I agree.  I agree.  What about this whole Tyson Chandler trade thing?  Any comment on that?

Axl Rose:  You’ll be Better.  [Swaying a bit.]  So bittersweet this tragedy; won’t ask for absolution.  A twist of faith, a change of heart, . . . a broken heart provides the spark for . . .  determination.

Hornets Hype:  Yeah, I think TC will come back strong too.  How about that Chris Paul?  Can you believe he wasn’t MVP last year, or being given more consideration this year for the same?  Do you think he thinks about that?

Axl Rose: Shackler’s Revenge, man.  CP got a wicked demon, his hunger never fades.

Hornets Hype:  Okay.  Sure.  Can you believe he almost didn’t start the All-Star Game this year?

Axl Rose:  Chinese Democracy.  It don’t really matter.  Gonna find out for yourself.

Hornets Hype:  Umm, right, so he looked great in that game, though, right?

Axl Rose:  If The World.  If the world would end today and all the dreams we had would all just drift away, you know there’s nothing more to say.

Hornets Hype:  [Hand over mike, muffled voices.]  Enjoying Mardi Gras, Axl?

Axl Rose:  Sorry.  You don’t know why I won’t act the way you think I should.

Hornets Hype:  What?

Axl Rose: Riad N’ The Bedouins.  Had a plan and thought they’d win.  But I don’t give a fuck ’bout them cause I am crazy.

Hornets Hype:  Well, any more thoughts about the NBA, maybe?  You know, the Lakers?  How do the we stop them come playoffs time?

Axl Rose: I.R.S.  Gonna call the IRS…read it baby with your morning new, with a sweet hangover, and the headlines too.

Hornets Hype:  you’re suggesting the Lakers don’t pay their taxes.  Or maybe Phil?  Seriously?  Any on-court suggestions?

Axl Rose: [Does slithering snake-like move.]

Hornets Hype: What do you think of Lebron?  Everyone likes to talk about him.

Axl Rose: Prostitute.  Oh I got a message for you.  Up and away.  It’s what I gotta do.

Hornets Hype:  Well thanks for talking, I guess.  Any parting thoughts?

Axl Rose: Patience. Anything Goes.  Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.

Hornets Hype:  Okay.  Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And that was it.  Axl and Buckethead walked away after that.  Buckethead was wearing a Popeye’s bucket on his head for the occasion, not the regular KFC one.  Peace out.  Beat the Kings!