Hornets Hype

In a basement. In our pajamas.

Chris Paul sucks.  27-8-8.  Can’t even get a triple double.  Only 2 steals and only 7-7 from the free throw line.  Only led the team to victory over the woeful Warriors, and let them crawl back from the -20 they were all game to lose by ten.  Horrible.  I can’t believe Hornets fans want him mentioned in the MVP conversation.

cp3-001Psych.  Chris Paul = Where Amazing Happens.  I really can’t sum it up better than a friend of mine, Alden, who turned to me after the first quarter of the Lakers game, and said straight-faced, “that Chris Paul is a wizard.”  Right?  CP does seem to routinely defy the laws of physics.  How better to put it?  Incredulously, though, no one calls CP “the Wizard,” “the Little Wizard,” or anything similar.  So how to describe his play?

I mean, most great players have some kind of nickname, right?  We know this much, Chris is often referred to as CP3, or just CP.  Sometime last year, the nickname was coined “Baby-Faced Assassin.”  Not bad, but ever since I’ve seen Kevin Martin play (who, by the way is not “K-Mart”, that one’s already taken, thank you very much), I have trouble calling Paul “baby-faced.”

Luckily, some of our Chinese friends over at Hoop China helped us out. You may recall that during the Olympics, the commentators talked about the Chinese giving several marquee NBA players nicknames.  While, at that time, they reported Chris didn’t have one, we’ve learned since this is not true.  The following comes from HornetsHype poster, Jonas:

[The Chinese] call CP3 “little baby” cause his last name Paul…sound[s] like chinese word “baby”, and he’s so lovely that we call him “little baby”.  We also call CP3…“King of hornets”…we finally call him CP3 as you guys in US. But also we call him…“black ghost”, “small cannon”(Paul also sound[s] like Chinese word cannon), [and] “sun of hornets” (The King is also the sun of hornets).

Also, from HornetsHype poster, Lucialanlan:


CP’[s] other nikename is “pineapple”, in Chinese, pineapple is called boluo, Paul’s Chinese name is baoluo,and CP3’s fans [are] also called boluomi,which means pineapple fans.


Great stuff.  TT6 says she likes “Small Cannon.”  I also want to add another, courtesy of our enemies of the night, though cool blog, Golden State of Mind, who posted a comic featuring CP, where the “Name Forge of Destiny,” decides that for CP’s “obvious virtuosity,” and “ability to thoroughly lay waste to all who stand in your way” that he be referred to as the “Grief Merchant.”  That’s my favorite.  Grief Merchant.  

So tell me, what is your favorite CP nickname?

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10 Responses to “Chris Paul: CP3, Baby-Faced-Assassin, or Small Cannon?”

  1. Baby-Faced Assassin actually came roughly during his rookie season when Dime Magazine posted a feature of CP, coining him the ‘Baby-Faced Assassin’ aka ‘The Second Coming of Isaiah’

    I’d call him ‘God Incarnate’, but Jesus already took that one. I think ‘CP’ will suffice for me.

  2. Chris Paul sucks? yea right! Whoever made that comment CLEARLY isn’t watching the Chris Paul everyone else is watching. Chris Paul is the real deal!!! And he’s definitely doing his thing on the court.

  3. I like the Grief Merchant. Fits in well with the story about his grandfather and CP’s game in his honor in high school, and CP does leave opponents shaking their heads sadly as he beats them down. Turiaf had that hang dog look more than once tonight after Chris drilled a jumper over him. You could also make it rhyme with Thief Merchant for his steals, although Man of Steals is also pretty good.

    Overall, I still prefer MVP

  4. Personally, I like the fact that he has no legitimate nickname. CP’s so unique among other NBA guys in that he has no tattoos, has no earrings, has no giant palatial mansion, has no entourage, has the same car he had as a rookie… and on and on.

    Other guys can name themselves ‘Superman’ or ‘Mamba’ or ‘King’ or what have you, but it feels fitting that Chris Paul is just ‘Chris Paul.’

  5. atthehive, didn’t CP accept ‘CP3’, just for historical purposes?

  6. Chris Paul is the Soul Stealer, Free Dealer, Opponent Killer

  7. I’m with atthehive, but at the same time I have to say that “Grief Merchant” is fantastic.

  8. @Mark Yeah CP3 is his childhood nickname since he’s the third C. Paul in his family (his dad and his bro). So I dunno if that counts or not

  9. I alway call him the “franchise” with my boys. Thats been said about a lot of players though. When ever he does an interview i think hes a “class-act”. c.p. Is easy to refer to him as-i dunno

  10. Glad to know he likes “Small Cannon” . I was the one called him this first in a chinese website. “Paul” sounds like cannon in Chinese . For me, small cannon is lovely, agile, and destructive.

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