Hornets Hype

All right, we’re narrowing it down. If you missed the beginning (oh, the photo collages, the snark, the hotties who left us too soon!) you can still check out Sweet 16 Pt 1 right here, and Pt 2 here.  And you can review the action that went down in Division 1, Division 2, Division 3, and Division 4 of Round One. There are many hotties. But only four teams can advance.

#9 New Orleans Hornets vs. #16 Detroit Pistons

Matchup Preview:

The Pistons dropped the Bulls and the Lakeshow on their way to the third round. The Hornets bowled over the lowly Raptors in the first round and edged a rather lovable Blazers squad in the Sweet 16.

Arron Afflalo in dramatic half-shadow vs. Tyson’s hat. Two of the NBA’s great– and great-looking– six footers. Tay’s freckles vs. the Hornets’ auxiliary cuties. I don’t know! Who knows? All I know is these two teams are hot!

VS.

#4 Orlando Magic vs. #12 Atlanta Hawks

Matchup Preview:

Previously, the Magic breezed past the Knicks and then proceeded to beat hottie Dwyane Wade (and his hat). The Hawks blasted the Nets and Spurs. Okay, so, evaluating the matchup, I believe Dwight’s arms and Al’s arms cancel each other out. And Josh’s smirk offsets JJ’s smirk.  This one is going to come down to Rashard Lewis in the pool. I am just not really sure the Hawks have anyone who can defend him. (P.S. Joe Johnson was requested, and lo, I managed to find a pic where he’s not scowling. Of course, he’s in bed. But it’s not like that necessarily conjures up the wrong imagery or anything…)

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#19 Charlotte Bobcats vs. #27 Memphis Grizzlies

Matchup Preview:

The Bobcats made the Suns regret their midseason trade of Raja Bell and Boris Diaw when the two clashed in the first round, and then went on to crush the Kings’ young guns. The Grizzlies didn’t let their collective failure to play the game of basketball well hold them back, crushing the Rockets and squeaking out a close one over the Pacers. Actually, this flip-flopped back and forth all day, with it being tied and either team having a 1 vote lead… but it’s the Grizzlies because 1) when I drew the bracket, that’s who was ahead, and 2) in the case of ties, you have to look at prior record. The Grizz really REALLY destroyed Houston, whereas Team Pacers’ match vs. the Mavs was much closer.

It’s the NBA, and I’m sure (almost) any player is gonna look good in shirtless photographs, but… I like to think the Bobcats have that little extra zing. Maybe it’s their international flair. Hot men with accents. Meanwhile, no matter what happens, I 100% wanna be on Team Rudy. I watched that House of Hoops outtake video and realized he is actually cuter in motion than in photographs. But he’s one of those young-looking ones, and, like Kevin Martin, I had to do a quick Wikipedia check to make sure thinking he’s hot was entirely appropriate. Whatever. He’s 22. That’s old enough!

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#2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #7 Denver Nuggets

Matchup Preview:

The Cavs had a bye in the first round and then cruised to the win over some dudes named Dre (the 76ers). The Nuggets beat the Thunder and the Warriors. Now, clearly Denver had the harder road to the third round, going through some quality teams. They’re looking no worse for the wear, though, and it’s good to see my boys Sonny and Dahntay for one more round. LeBron is handsome and stylin’, but I’m not sure he’s hot. I’m not sure good-looking men should have cute shapes shaved into their hair either, but to each his or her own. The Cavs are quite well-rounded, though. They got depth. While Denver? Denver’s got neck tattoos and hair gel. Oh, not in this collage. But I know they’re there… lurking.

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Disclaimer: I would like to reassure everyone that my mood being “ouch” right now is not due to being forced to look at NBA hotties. It’s because my toe is broken. It’s all good, Tyson. OKC would have sent me back, too.