Hornets Hype

In a basement. In our pajamas.

“Myself, I’d trust him to the end of the Earth.”
“Oh yes, and how far’s that?”
“About twelve minutes away. Come on, I need a drink.”
– The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

JR is my hero!

JR is my hero!

Yep. That went well.

And so here I am writing a recap, of sorts, of a game that tied the record for the worst loss in playoff history. In which we learn that the Hornets as presently constructed are treading water (like, badly, and desparately, the way you do right before you give up and drown), and JR Smith hits a three in my face.

You know, there were moments when I thought they would make a game of it. But I think the run the Hornets gave up right out of halftime when they could have– and should have– cut it to 16 or 18 was when we looked at each other and said it wasn’t their night. The funny thing was that, before everyone left, it was really one of the loudest, most vicious crowds I’ve ever had the pleasure to be a part of in New Orleans. But, you know. Before everyone left.

Well, I had already made up my mind that I was having a good time last night, and the Hornets’ abysmal play wasn’t going to stop me. We slid over and down to the 5th row, left of center court, to enjoy ourselves a little scrub basketball as the way-richer-than-us see it.

I am not sure what came over me. I certainly didn’t care about the score. I was too shellshocked to even think about the game. And you know, if you can’t laugh, what else are you gonna do? So as JR Smith stood, large as life, right in front of me, and threw the ball into the basket for the 53-point lead, I did something I’ve never done before and leaned over the empty seat in front of me and hollered:


Everyone laughed. So I just rolled with it. “SHOOT IT, JR! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! JR FOR THE 55 POINT LEAD! YEAH!” He runs backward down the court,  gives this confused look to the crowd like “WTF girl is yelling at me?”, looks back at the play, looks again.

The Hornets do whatever they do (Oh, hey, I’ve got the play by play right in front of me. Antonio Daniels bad pass, apparently, is what they do), and here ol’ JR is coming back. “SHOOT IT, JR! YEAH, JACK THE THREE! DO IT!” He steps backward over the line, with his back right to us, and drills the three.


mW: Um, I think he just hit a three in your grill.

Me: Wait, you think he heard me?

mW: We’re the only people here. He heard you.

Me: Seriously? AHAHAHAHA!

Looking at the play by play, I’m pretty sure it’s this stretch I’m talking about:

5:35 J.R. Smith makes layup (Jason Hart assists) 108-55
5:24 108-55 Antonio Daniels bad pass
5:09 J.R. Smith makes 23-foot three point jumper (Linas Kleiza assists) 111-55

At one point, he was dribbling out on top of the fleur de bee logo, playing keepaway with Antonio Daniels. “SHOOT IT, JR! SHOOT THE HALF COURT SHOT! JR FROM HALF COURT! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! PLAYER OF THE F***ING GAME RIGHT THERE!”

So I guess this is a note to whoever Denver faces next– get a girl to sit courtside and relentlessly and profanely heckle JR Smith. He will shoot. This may or may not end up working well for your team. But it will be funny.

I don’t want any Denver fans coming in here and saying I’m bitter– if I was that bitter, I would have left. If, in the future, anyone challenges my fan devotion, you all know I am allowed to point to this game and say, “I stayed through the 58 point blowout. I win.” And come on, JR is too easy to pick on. This is a guy who jacked a 3 with 24 seconds left in a 55 point blowout, after all.

I said yesterday that I wasn’t worried anymore. And you know what? It feels kind of weird to admit this, but I had a lot of fun at this game. I certainly got my money’s worth. (And learned that if I could afford to sit in those seats all the time, and there were actual people around me, I would be thrown out.) I think that’s what it’s all about. We can worry about the future of this team after the playoffs. This article, however, is a must-read. If you really want to know how I feel, my answer is, “Everything this guy said.” And to those who want to blow up the team THIS SECOND, remember three, no four, things:

1) The team whose 58-point-blowout-loss record we tied came back and won the next game of the series.

2) I think the Lakers recovered fine from their Finals beatdown.

3) Your lesson is right on the court in front of you. The Nuggets were embarrassed with the whole sweep and “We quit” thing last year. They didn’t trade the entire team. They made one move. One move that was the right move.

4) You’re not the GM. That’s for a reason.

That said…

Hint to the front office: Chris Bosh. Trade everyone you have to to make it happen. No, really, everyone. Extend his contract, fill out the roster with young picks, and watch the fun happen with your two 24-year-old All Stars for the next 3 years. I genuinely like our guys, but… I just want Chris Paul to win a championship for us. Not some other team. Us. That is seriously my #1 concern right now.



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36 Responses to ““You’re a Real F***ing Hero, JR!””

  1. Good stuff as usual ticktock6.


    What about this blog and who is writing it makes you think your SEXIST comment is going to get through?

    You must not be working with much mentally. I’m sorry about that.

    Nah, just kidding. I wouldn’t have let you through anyway. You suck. Maybe not as much as JR. But still. 😀

  3. ticktock: I was reading through Dime and figured I could get this comment to you more directly. Regarding your comment on “imagine if CP had 25-26 year old guys running with him.”

    Well, he’s not 25 yet, but imagine if coach Scott trusted JuJu? CP is the best point guard in the game, period, so is it impossible to put youth with CP? What’s the worst that could happen, that the player makes a mistake?

    And yes on the CB4 move.

  4. Mark– Well, you know we’ve been saying that all year. I always thought the trading of the draft pick was a terrible idea too. You can’t tell me we “needed it to sign Posey.” We needed the MLE to sign Posey. We had enough money AFTER that signing to sign, what, Marks? Brown? No way. We didn’t draft because Byron Scott didn’t want to “deal” with a rookie while chasing the WCF.

    Let CP coach JuJu. Just put him out there on the floor. You notice he never takes threes anymore that he was making last season. He probably knows he’d be yanked in 30 seconds.

  5. Sigh. I know hind-sight 20/20, but I distinctly remember people saying ‘Mario “super-nintendo” Chalmers’ or ‘Chris Douglas-Roberts’ for our draft pick. Even Darrell Arthur, our original pick, seems to be doing alright. Mostly on poor teams, but it’s not like we would’ve done any better with Devin Brown.

    Hell, I would’ve tried for Patrick Ewing Jr. even. But that’s because I love those Patrick Chewing commercials.

  6. You see Mark, you don’t pick up guys simply because you like their dad’s commercials. LOL! I know you know that though. We already have a few guys on the team that seem like they’re on it because Shinn owes their family a favor. LMAO! Ewing Jr. isn’t even in the league right now is he? Does anyone think he’d make a good NBA player or was he just supposed to get by on his ‘name’?

    I’m just wondering if whoever we pick at #21 this offseason will be able to contribute to next season? Will the coach play the kid? Will we have a new coach willing to play the kid? Will the kid be NBA ready? Far too often GM’s and scouts reach for guys that aren’t NBA ready at all and then it takes time to develop them. This season we were in “win now” mode and didn’t really have time for more development when we were already trying to develop JuJu and Hilton. Most of the times I see Darrell Arthur the kid doesn’t look like he knows what he’s doing. We already have Hilton for that. Lots of questions but it’s too early for answers.

  7. Right now the Hornets seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

  8. Mo: hey, I will regard the stereotypical frat boy and Paris Hilton for the exact same reason I esteem Ewing Jr.: their respect shall lie with the successes of their fathers efforts. Just kidding. Oh Lord, I’m just kidding.

    For coaching, I recall Ewing wanting to head coach. My potential reasoning for this gamble for Ewing 2009 would be development of a low post game. I’m almost certain the ManChild benefited from Ewing’s teachings (albeit ManChild = freak), so we’ll “Byron” CP (i.e. let CP essentially coach the team) while Ewing and management tries to develop a post game. At least it’s a plan, unlike what we have now whatever we’re doing.

    Avery sounds like a good fit too, although he seemed to be very strict when I watched the Mavs, which is VERY different from how we conduct our prerequisite ‘goof around’ practices. But this squad might benefit from a little injection of discipline. Coming back to LA, perhaps?

  9. Mavs fans had some of the same issues with Avery as Hornets fans have with Byron … rotations, not playing their favorite players, etc. It’s just that he’s a local guy so people think he should be here. I don’t particularly think I’d like Avery as our head coach. If it were up to the locals they’d have an all-local team even if it meant losing every season. LOL! He also doesn’t strike me as a coach the players would respect much. I don’t quite know what it is. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

  10. Heck at this point even old a** Hubie Brown might not be so bad in coaching this team. Haha!

  11. Exactly why is it that people keep calling for Avery as coach? Other than taking the Mavs to the Finals once and losing the series after being up 2-0, what else has he done that makes people want him so badly? Is it because he’s a local? Aren’t there others out there that can possibly help? Besides, I don’t know how much Avery or any other coach would be able to do with this same roster. That’s where the changes need to come in at.

  12. Didn’t Avery get fired for being too stubborn? Right. Like we need that again. We need a coach who’s good with young guys, a mentor type, and then we need to GET some young guys. And then we need to hire a good offensive assistant.

    Don’t ask me who, though. I’m not up on coaches who are free.

  13. The thing is, just about all coaches have their faults. The Jazz fans have been calling for Sloan’s head for most of the season. Who would’ve thought? There’s always going to be SOMETHING that you don’t like about a coach. Something. Whether big or small, there will be something.

    Outside of Avery, the only guys that come to mind right now would be Mike Fratello, Eddie Jordan (even though he might be headed to Sacramento), Doug Collins, or how about Terry Porter? The fact is there aren’t too many good coaches out there. We know Silas isn’t coming back. Who else is out there? And other than pleasing some fans by giving Julian more PT, which coach will be able to do more than Scott with the same roster?

  14. I wasn’t really serious about Terry Porter but I just figured some people are so desperate for another coach I just thought I’d throw his name in there.

  15. Sam Mitchell? Another guy fired pretty soon after getting coach of the year…

  16. @ticktock6, yeah, I forgot about Mitchell. Mo Cheeks is available too. Or we could just tell Isiah to forget about coaching a college team and just come coach the Hornets. Reggie Theus? P.J. Carlesimo? They’ve got to be better than Byron right? 😉

  17. I see Jeff Van Gundy’s name tossed around quite a bit too.

  18. Memphis’ former coach Marc Iavaroni perhaps?

  19. Lol at heckling JR Smith. That had to have been FUN.

  20. YoungFella says:

    No offense, but this team is in way worse shape than the Nuggets ever were.

    We’re not capable of fixing everything with 1 trade and a few low-key FA moves the way Denver was. But even if we were: we don’t have the cap room, the pieces, or the GM to pull it off. And even if we had all that we don’t have the coach.

    Tomorrow night will probably be the last New Orleans Hornets playoff game in at least 23 months – and that’s if the FO plays its cards right. Sucks but it’s very likely that is the case.

  21. So much shit happens in this league that it is impossible to say that right now.

  22. Eeeevvvveryone thinks they know what next year will be like. After last season we thought we’d be closer to a championship this season. Look what happened. Before last season began, no one thought we’d win 56 games, win the SW Division title and make it to the 2nd round. If people can tell the future please tell me the next lotto numbers because my ass needs more money.

  23. It just blows my mind how in a year’s time from being the second seed in the Western Conference and getting a Coach of the Year in Scott that we’ve resorted to this mess. Really blows my mind…
    and i’m still sad.

  24. sisyphusjns says:

    The Hornets are going to win tonight. They cannot simply slink away after the worse loss in NBA playoff history & say “we got beat by the better team”, even if that’s the truth. The Hornets are capable of beating Denver in Denver, & BECAUSE they lost by 58 points in game four, they have to win game 5 in Denver, HAVE TO!
    TODAY IS ST. CRISPIN’S DAY IN NEW ORLEANS, or in Denver, whatever.

  25. Having both Steve Javie AND Ken Mauer officiating only makes me wonder how many of our players will foul out tonight.

  26. I like Byron. I think he is a good coach. But as I’ve said before, if he can’t get us out of this series, then we need to start fresh.

    @ Mo: considering he built the old Phoenix O with D’Antoni, I also have wondered about Marc Iavaroni. Curious.

    @ticktock6: I wonder what Bosh’s relationship is with Mitchell…

  27. Avery was too stubborn, yes, but I’d like to see some discipline from our squad. The way we play (even last season) never seemed to have accountability. The only reason people were pissed at Mavs+Avery was because of that inability to capitalize, which is very understandable, but at least he gave a shiz.

    He was vocal, animated, and had very high expectations, none of which appear to be coach Scott’s strong points. Faults and failures notwithstanding, I thought Avery was great in Dallas; I really do. His stubbornness isn’t the reason to prevent us from at least considering Avery. I just feel coach Scott was never coach of the year, nor much beyond a player’s coach. I’d love to see him as assistant, but I’m not sure his pride will allow that. We just need something to help spark more confidence, whether that be a new coach, new squad, or relocation. Just kidding on the last one, although I hear we may be moving to Europe…? Haha (c) AtTheHive

    Regarding other coaches, I don’t know. I’ve only followed the Mavs and Hornets closely in this league.

  28. Obviously Cuban and the players that played for him didn’t think he was all that great. Otherwise he’d still be there.

  29. I’ve read where some of their fans didn’t think he was all that great either.

  30. Kind of like some of us don’t think Scott is all that great. I just don’t know if another coach will be able to do anything different with some of these same guys. It goes deeper than just the coach.

  31. Fans, as you know, are an unreliable source for estimating any player’s worth. Mavs fans are fickle like everyone else. Trust me, I went through our 20-win seasons as a fan. Most enjoy winning and not the sport. You think the fans would be mad if the refs didn’t call all those phantom calls for Wade, subsequently giving the ‘chip to Miami?

    Personally I feel the Mavs team was just unreceptive to such strict discipline (geez, look at Josh Howard), and some backlash spurned from it.

  32. Hornets game about to kick off!


  34. @ yeah, well. Hopefully he’ll get traded, for his sake.

    But anyway, folks, it’s been a good season. Thanks for being here! We’ll have plenty of post-season stuff still, so come back!

  35. Thanks for doing your thing ‘hype. At least the trolls will probably scurry away now.

    It’ll be a bittersweet topic discussing trades this season, but I look forward to the superstitions you guys somehow extract (speaking of which, who were on the 2 playoff tickets this post-season?).

  36. […] Jones’ and Chris Anderson’s, Nene is a beast, JR Smith is a sparkplug off the bench who responds well to taunting, Kleiza can also heat up in a hurry, Carter is a dependable backup, George Karl suddenly has a team […]

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