Hornets Hype

But some of it is!

It's just... that you mentioned a party

If you’re looking for some like-minded staying-up-late folks to watch the game with, come on down to the watch party at Handsome Willy’s. It’s hosted by Hornets247.com and NOLA.com, so it’s not technically our party. But you can pretend it is, if that makes you feel better, ’cause we’ll probably be there. The party starts at 8:30, about an hour before the game, and there’ll be food on the grill and drinks at the bar and all that other lovely stuff.

Or you could go to the official one, which is in, like, Hammond or something– which I think is on the Northshore, I don’t know, I went to a party on the Northshore once but all there was was a strip mall plaza and a lot of trees and I got lost and it was kind of sketchy… LAME! (Sorry, if you happen to live in Hammond and I’ve just insulted you– SORRY! You can come beat me up. I promise. Too bad it’ll take you two hours to get here and I’ll already be long gone.)

I’m getting that two-roads-diverged-in-a-wood feeling with this one. My favorite thing about basketball is sitting in my seat in the first quarter, waiting to see how everything’s going to unfold in front of you– it’s about possible futures, it’s about a thousand bounces, a thousand whistles, a thousand ways the game could play out. So in one future, the Hornets win this game, tonight, then get their swagger back. They take the two at home, win the series here in six, and San Antonio has been too beaten up by Dallas to put up much of a fight, and so the Hornets get their revenge matchup, and this time they win, and it’s the Lakers in the Conference Finals, just like none of this up-and-down season ever happened. I see Chris Paul happy, I see the team swallowing the luxury tax to keep the core together. But then I also see the other, darker, future. I see the Hornets collapsing in five, I see Tyson Chandler traded for a non-playoff team’s leftover pieces, the team left without a 7-footer and without a chance against the Lakers, a down year, another draft pick come to nothing, the team getting older, CP not resigning…

The future is too heavy in the air tonight.

In the interest of celebrating the bigger picture, the Hornets had the highest attendance increase in the NBA this season.

The New Orleans Hornets saw their gate increase by 20 percent this season, the highest increase in the NBA, while the Sacramento Kings had the biggest drop in attendance with a 10 percent decline.

Biggest gains (through April 13)
New Orleans Hornets: 20.3%
Indiana Pacers: 17.5%
Philadelphia 76ers: 7.0%

So that just goes to show you– don’t tell the people of New Orleans they can’t do something!

Tell me what y’all think of the following excerpt:

I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it — Chris Paul is a punk. Paul personally instigated the chippy play Sunday night with his antics. Paul not only flopped continuously but had the nerve to get an attitude with both the referring crew and the Nuggets players. And how Carmelo Anthony was called for a foul when Tyson Chandler veered sharply and ran Melo over, I’ll never know; to say the officiating in the Denver New Orleans game was spotty is being kind.  In this series the scenario is this: if Paul is feted and treated like an untouchable, the Hornets will upset Denver. If the refs officiate the game as it happens and not as Paul or head coach Byron Scott say it’s happening, Denver wins.

Sigh.

Uh, did any of you notice the officiating in this one being particularly in the Hornets’ favor? I certainly didn’t. I think the Hornets got screwed because the more physical team was allowed to be physical with them and they weren’t physical enough back (NOTE: This is not the refs’ fault). Which, as we know, is familiar because it’s the pattern in our big stack of Jazz losses too. Yeah. I’m sure the physical play of a team known for physical play is solely the fault of the guy on the opposing team who’s under six feet tall. And also, in case he didn’t notice, the Hornets lost! Which kind of ruins his whole argument. Not to mention the fact that during games Byron Scott shows the approximate emotional range of a clam. I’m not sure what coach he’s watching.

And then I remembered this was the douchebag who, in like the first game of the season, accused the Hornets of getting post-Katrina pity reffing. No, I am not making this up. He’s the internet’s foremost Chris Paul hater. It hit me like a freight train of deja vu: “I’ve made fun of this guy before, haven’t I?”

And guys, this one hurts. Because my New Year’s Resolution this year was honestly, I promise, to try to use alternate words in place of “douchebag,” because I feel I am guilty of overuse. But what am I supposed to do? Dude is a douche.

So, whatever, Ball Don’t Lie. I don’t think you should be quoting people like this. He’s clearly got a bias against Chris Paul (said in November, and I quote, that people who think he’s great are “guilty of worshipping false idols” !!!!). Not to mention trivializing a national disaster that we happen to take pretty seriously around here. (Edited to Clarify: I am not saying CP isn’t a punk on the court– he is– but I think people should know these are the words of a serial CP-hater, so they can choose to take them with or without a grain of salt!)

Move along, there’s nothing to see here…. except an archaic genital hygiene product.

Some scattered thoughts on Game 1:

• Over on At the Hive, someone coined the term “Douchethuggery.” I find it rather eloquently descriptive of the Denver Nuggets, so I’m totally stealing it for the rest of this series. It’s at least descriptive of Kenyon Martin and Chris Anderson. Lord, but that’s a trashy-looking frontcourt with an obnoxious attitude.
• We’ve said all year the Hornets winning formula is Chris Paul + David West + one shooter. Well, last night they had no shooters and no David West. They can’t win with that.
• This is going to come down to how well this team can channel anger. If they can do it like they did against Dallas last weekend (after the Mavs showboated and posed and generally acted a fool in Part One of the home and home), or the Orlando Magic Christmas Massacre payback game, or the two home victories against the Spurs this season, they’re golden. What they cannot do is fall apart emotionally.
• It worries me that no player on the Hornets team can get a whistle except Chris Paul. Especially the bigs. It worries me that no player can take a charge except James Posey. These worries were pretty much encapsulated by the one play in which Hilton Armstrong was barreled into and did take the charge but then, of course, the call went the other way.
• Speaking of Hilton Armstrong, he used to be able to hit free throws. The hell?
• Speaking of James Posey, the boxscore says he played 21 minutes, but I didn’t notice him out there. Which is generally a bad thing.
• There is really just nothing more I can say about Devin Brown. Someone on Twitter asked me, if it was just me and Devin Brown in an elevator, what would I say to him? (If you’re not on Twitter, you might guess that I was snarking/ranting about Devin all game. If you guessed that, you would be right.) And you know, he might not be a bad guy. And I would never say the things I say about him to his face. But it’s like, don’t hate the player, hate the game. So. I don’t hate Devin Brown. I hate that Byron Scott thought he was a key reserve in this game.
• (Some*) Denver fans have about as much class as their team. Someone threw a beer bottle at the Hornets bench at the end of the 4th quarter. And apparently someone also threw a towel in Chris Paul’s face. To their credit, the fans around the bottle-thrower ratted him out and then booed him as he was escorted out. *Edited to reflect that a couple of Nuggets fans have found their way to New Orleans blogs and forums to apologize on behalf of that guy. Thanks, guys. We’re cool.
• Byron Scott called the fan who threw the bottle an asshole on national TV in the post-game interview. Heh.
• Melo’s postgame reminded me that I really want to buy a menswear-ish vest, and keep forgetting. Like for instance, a pinstriped vest would look fab over the outfit I am wearing today. I do not, however, covet his loud magenta shirt or anything the shade of it.
• I can’t believe this game was officiated the way it was with David Stern physically in the building. I can only conclude he just doesn’t care about the sad state of things. You don’t call the Hornets bigs for touch fouls (well, except in the case of Sean Marks, who didn’t actually touch anyone on the replay), and then try to make up for it on the other end by whistling Denver for a phantom charge or reach-in by the three point line. How about calling some of the contact in the paint? Meanwhile you have your TNT announcers perpetuating this nonsense by saying, “Now this is playoff basketball!” as players are wrestling with each other for position and people are getting clobbered over the head on the way to the basket. No. This is how people get hurt.
• Chauncey Billups won’t have that game again. And I’d like to say David West won’t either. But he was covered pretty thoroughly. What he has to do is hit those open jumpers. Those were the shot he was consistently given, and if that’s what they’re going to give him, that’s what he has to knock down.
• Watching Sixers/Magic (How much does Andre Iguodala desparately need a nickname that’s not “The Other AI”? They’re not remotely similar players. It’s just geography and coincidence. Sad) reminded me that there are teams out there who actually have rookies and young guys playing major roles. I so wish the Hornets would refocus on building with youth next year instead of Byron Scott’s favorite building-with-32-year-old journeymen. At the very least, you’re getting energy even if you’re not getting talent. What our bench has right now is a lot of neither.

Previewing the series over on the Dime blog: NBA Playoff Blogger Faceoff: Nuggets vs. Hornets. If it’s not as snarky/hyped as I usually am, I apologize. I was kinda hungover when I wrote it.:-P

And, First Round Roundtable on At the Hive.

Hope everyone’s loving NBA Playoff Day 1 and French Quarter Fest!

This edition of Hornets Arts and Crafts Time is brought to you by Ticktock6.

Ill-conceived Nike Zoom Kobe IV

OK, these kicks have not been released yet, but the colors do draw the eye, don’t they? What we have here is a pretty nice Hornets shoe, complete with turquoise, purple, and pinstripes. There’s even a little honeycomb texture. If you like to wear shoes to the games that match your gear, like me, you are totally on the lookout for stuff like this.

FIGURE 1

BUT WAIT. In a nonsensical bit of rubbing-it-in douchery, Nike has released a version of Kobe’s shoe to commemorate the super special occasion of him being drafted by the Hornets… aaaaaand then being instantly traded and never playing a minute for them. Yep, a sneaker in the team colors of a jersey he never wore. With his draft date on the back! Evil. Speaking of which, how come they made it in the newer, more-blue-than-green Hornets colors? Kobe would certainly have never worn the New Orleans version of the colors and pinstripes. He would have worn the old school teal. Baffling.

But you know what? Fortunately, you can totally stil buy this shoe. After all, there aren’t that many turquoise and purple sneakers out there, so it would be a shame to waste this one! For this art project, you will need:

1) 1 pair Nike Zoom Kobe IVs in Hornets colors

2) White out

3) Purple Sharpie

This is a three step project that should be simple even for amateur artists. The end result should be a piece of Hornets gear you will feel proud to wear to a game with your David West jersey.

Step 1: Apply white out to the vertical portion of both 1′s in the number 11. Leave the top and bottom of the numbers. You’ll need those later. Blot out the middle of the 9, and the left lower side of the 6.

Step 2: Using your purple Sharpie, follow the pattern shown in Figure 2, below.

Step 3: Wait for white out and marker to dry. Then wear and enjoy!

FIGURE 2: Now that's a sneaker this franchise can be proud of!

The Hornets’ starting line-up October 29, 2008: Chris, Mo, Peja, David, and Tyson.   Then, when Mo was injured early in the season, Rasual Butler took over the starting role for Mo.  Though some had called for an upgrade at the two-guard, most of us realized that Morris Peterson was one of the best fifth-starters in the League (i.e., the fifth best starter).  Nonetheless, Hornets fans were pleasantly surprised when Rasual performed well in Mo’s absence.  Slowly Mo worked his knee back into shape, until he hurt his foot in a late 2008 game, and was out again.  By the time he was healthy, it was too late.  Rasual, having the best year of his career, had taken hold of the starting two guard slot.

Is it fair that a starter loses his spot due to injury?   I don’t know.  But considering Mo already played the least amount of minutes among all Hornets starters last year, we knew it wasn’t about starting.  It was about getting minutes.  To Mo’s credit, he got that, saying all along, he just wanted to contribute, to help the team, and was the consummate professional at all times, never complaining.  But here’s the rub: the minutes suddenly weren’t there.  Inexplicably, despite having the talent to make him a starter on a 56-win team, Byron Scott refused to give Mo any minutes.

Now, instead, those minutes are going to Devin Brown.  Listen, I want the Hornets to do well.  If Devin’s in, I want him to play well.  But the fact is, Mo has more talent, and history backs that up.  Even this year, an off-year by Mo’s standards, stands as testament to the fact that he should be out there.  Consider the following:

• Devin, 2008-09: 36% FG%, 29% 3FG%, 1.9 rebounds per game, 0.9 assists per game, 0.5 steals per game, and 0.1 blocks per game, while committing 1.3 fouls per game and 0.9 turnovers per game.
• Morris, 2008-09: 40% FG%, 39% 3FG%, 2.0 rebounds per game, 0.4 assists per game, 0.3 steals per game, and 0.1 blocks per game, while committing 1.2 fouls per game and 0.4 turnovers per game.

So, basically, Mo is getting more boards, the same blocks, committing less turnovers and fouls, though not getting quite as many steals or assists.  But, oh yeah, he’s hitting at shots at 4% better overall, and 10% better from 3-point range, which in Byron’s system is crucial, as its built to allow Chris’ penetration to open up shots for his shooters.

But maybe you’re thinking the statistical sample is too low given the limited minutes of each.  Better to take their career stats, then:

• Devin, Career: 41% FG%, 33% 3FG%, 2.8 rebounds per game, 1.5 assists per game, 0.6 steals per game, and 0.1 blocks per game, while committing 1.6 fouls per game and 1.1 turnovers per game.
• Morris, Career: 42% FG%, 37% 3FG%, 3.6 rebounds per game, 1.6 assists per game, 0.9 steals per game, and 0.2 blocks per game, while committing 2.3 fouls per game and 1.0 turnovers per game.

In case you’ve lost track in this melange of numbers, Mo is better at every single stat other than fouls, which considering he’s nowhere near fouling out, is irrelevant.  So what the hell is Byron thinking?

MEMO TO BYRON SCOTT: free Mo Pete.  The man has skills.  He’s a former starter.  Maybe Rasual is playing well, maybe they duplicate skills.  But what’s wrong with having the same guy come in, when you refuse to change your offensive set for your back-ups?  The case isn’t even close.  Mo Pete is the most talented, most reliable back-up you have among a bench full of inconsistent bench players, so there’s no excuse not to play him.

The stats all say you should.  Isn’t the Hornets’ success in the Playoffs more important than whatever non-basketball issues Byron might have with Mo?  It’s a rhetorical question, and the answer is YES.  So I hope you’re reading, Byron, because you’ve told us what’s wrong with Hilton’s play, the flaws in Julian’s game, but you’ve yet to justify keeping Mo on the bench in lieu of anyone, let alone Devin.  (Sorry Devin.)  Enough is enough. 

Free Mo Pete.

Today after work. Fulton Square. 6:00-8:30. Be there and be wearing teal & gold!

From Hornets.com:

This free event will take place from 6-8:30pm and will include appearances by the entire Hornets team and coaching staff, Hugo, the Honeybees, the Used to Bees and other Hornets personalities and entertainment groups. Live music will be provided by Rockin’ Dopsie and the Soul Rebels Brass Band along with interactive games, contests, and face painting. Merchandise, food and drink specials will also be available throughout the event.

FYI, this is where everyone got the FAN UP yard signs and GEAUX HORNETS car stickers last season. I don’t know what they’ve got in store for us this year, but there are bound to be great freebies and fun. And the team’s going to be there too! (You know, for all you stalker types.)

The first two people to come tag me get free playoff tickets– HA! Yeah, right. I already have my tickets, but there’s no way anyone else is touching them!! But seriously, do feel free to come up and say hi. I’ll be the one wearing these shoes and looking, well, pretty much like this, except for hopefully with better hair.

We can’t control what the media thinks of the team. We can’t control injuries. We can’t control how the team is going to play in this series. Home court and seeding and end-of-season slumps? All out of our hands. But this is New Orleans, and the one thing we can do is come to party.

The weather’s just fine down here! 71 and hardly humid. Perfect playoff climate.

FAN UP NEW ORLEANS!

Sunday, 8:30 PM. TNT.

‘Cause here at Hornets Hype we like legal stuff (or, um, to make fun of legal stuff), and we like the Hornets. Rarely do two worlds collide… until today. And, well, you know, we always enjoy hilarity. Check out the following excerpt from a question on a recent bar exam, which features a few familiar characters:

Chris walks into the locker room AND STEALS EVERYTHING!

I love it. Chris is age 23 (and earning more money than he ever thought possible), and he’s committing burglary and thievery left and right. Sounds like someone we know. And he steals Tyson’s cash and gun out of his locker.

But wait! The (hypothetical) story  doesn’t end there!

Chris' spree results in Peja's untimely death

Oh no they didn’t! I’m sure we are all very saddened by the unfortunate death of Peja at Chris’ dastardly hands at the Hard Wood Tavern. I guess Peja is easily startled. That Chris. Always stealing stuff and causing heart attacks. HAHA!

Who’s the mysterious “Dana” though? And Chris moving to an out of state location to pursue better employment what? Bitch, please. You’ve been reading the Dallas paper, haven’t you?

P.S. You also spelled “discreetly” wrong. Bar exam fail! Good thing I quit law school, so I can have the free time to skip pleasantly through life bashing others’ spelling and grammar to my heart’s content.

Via this thread at Hornets Report.