So yesterday afternoon I was joking around that, instead of my regular snarky one-liners on Twitter during the game, I would comment upon Cavs/Magic Game 4 entirely in haiku. Well, this didn’t quite pan out the way I expected, since one of my domains got hit by a spammer from Sweden who generated 150,000 spam comments and caused my entire account, including this blog, to be suspended by my host. If you came here last night, you might have noticed the fact that the site was, you know, missing. Sorry about that. It’s fixed now. But it caused me to be on the phone with tech support and as a result I missed most of the game.
True to my word, though, I hopped on Twitter with around 3 minutes left in the fourth quarter and did live game commentary through the rest of regulation and overtime entirely in haiku. I decided to put all my haikus together, just for fun:
1.
Dougie loves LeBron
but that pesky man named Skip
oh he’s just a friend
2.
Superman at line
strangely strong under pressure
hit one to close out!
3.
Rafer is so clutch
oh wait forget I said that
jack another one
4.
GET THE DAMN REBOUND
IT’S OUT OFF OF DELONTE
lucky break Magic
5.
Not too much time left
live or die by the jumper
time to live or die
6.
Come on Feel the Noise
watcha gonna do Magic
inbound play is key
7.
Swish goes the clutch shot
so this makes Rashard Lewis
King of what Kingdom???
8.
M-FING BULLSHIT
he tripped over his own feet
travesty ends not
9.
“What it comes down to”
“is Cavs are inferior”
“wasting our time” – M
10.
Fatigue a factor?
how bout monstrous ass screwings
by men in gray shirts?
11.
DUNK THAT SHIT DUH-WIGHT
the only way to live now
is fight through this hard!
12.
Holy MF shit
was that shot from in orbit?
make your own fate now
13.
They don’t need no crowns
these Magic know how to make
their own destiny
14.
“I’ll tell you how big”
“that play was,” says Doug– wait Doug
how big was what now?
15.
Clutcheriffic Dwight
tune it out with the music
that plays in your head
16.
Chosen One watches
as a taller star is made
in these late moments
17.
In an apartment
somewhere in corporate land
two puppets are sad
Tired
Brilliant. I was on twitter live and couldn’t believe you kept banging those out. P.S. Viva la revolucion! Polish Democracy!
Haha, I love #17. Two puppets are definitely sad in corporate land. Haiku-ing off the cuff is not easy. I salute you.
It was REALLY FREAKIN HARD. I’m amazed some of them turned out OK, actually. Do not haiku in real time.
That was great. I really enjoyed reading them even though that game was so long ago.