Hornets Hype

I know we lost, and believe me, it’ll take me a week to recover from that officiating in the 4th, but Marcus Thornton’s block was so awesome I can’t not post it:

About a week and a half back, I got a ticket to attend the ESPN taping of Chris Paul’s annual celebrity bowling event. Well, here’s my big shiny recap of the day, complete with pictures. Be warned, though, since this is going to be on TV, I can’t tell you who wins. But believe me when I say the ending was about as exciting as you can get in bowling.

The trophy

Upon my arrival at Harrah’s Hotel to catch the shuttle to the event, I immediately see Ludacris wander out (on the phone) and stand right next to where I am. He’s wearing sunglasses and a red leather jacket with his name stitched on it. (I tweet: “Ten minutes ago I was standing right beside Ludacris. He DEFINITELY is not tall. He may be shorter than me.”) Jack Del Rio, coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, was also there to bowl, as well as LaMarr Woodley and Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Tweet: “Am standing beside Hines Ward and LaMarr Woodley. I guess they are football ppl or something. They’re not very tall.”) I’m not sure what my strange obsession with celebrity height is. It just seems that every time I meet someone I expect them to be tall, and they’re not. Haha.

Everyone was waiting around for Chris Paul to arrive. Which he did, quite ironically, as I was leaning on a column in the hotel lobby tweeting on my Blackberry about how none of the celebrities were tall. He literally strolled through my field of vision about two feet away. It will probably not come as a shock to you that he is not tall, either. Chris Paul is wearing a Yankees cap and a pair of navy and orange Nikes. I immediately decide to start an obnoxious Twitter rumor about him signing with the Knicks.

We hopped on the shuttles to the event (I was on the one with the Hornets people and PBA people, not the celebrities), which was held on the Belle Chase Naval Base. The audience was basically all servicemen and women, in uniform, and some of them brought their kids. The minute we got there I realized A) the place was really, really small, and B) I was sitting in the front row. I was definitely going to be on TV at some point. Yuck. I pulled my stuff out of my bag and began to furtively tackily do my makeup. Meanwhile, the celebrities and the PBA bowlers they were matched up with started to warm up, as the ESPN crew gave instructions to the crowd.

Jason Belmonte, Pete Weber, and Ludacris

This was the first TV taping of anything I’ve ever been to. I can tell you that it was mostly three things: 1) Hot, 2) Long, and 3) Late. Everything was late. It started late. It ended late. Mostly this was due to the “commercial breaks” they built into it, even though it wasn’t live. So the guy would get on the loudspeaker and tell people they had ten minutes to get food or go to the bathroom. And whenever he did this, the entire audience would– you guessed it– get up. And then it took forever to get everyone back in their seats and continue with the tournament. The event started with a play-in round between Jack Del Rio and LaMarr Woodley to see which of them would be on the fourth team in the main tournament. (I’m not sure that part is going to be televised.) But after that, we didn’t get to take any more pictures, so as not to spoil how it all turns out. Yes, I know who wins, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU. Muahahaha… Chris Paul, however, has never won his own tournament, which, considering the supercompetitor that he is, must really really irk him, so I can tell you he was gunning for it.

Chris & Ludacris

One of my favorite moments involved little CP, Chris Paul’s baby son who was sitting with his parents two rows behind me. At one point, Chris was about to bowl, and little CP starts loudly going, “Da-da! Da-da!” The whole place was silent, so everyone heard him. Chris turned around and gave him a smile and a little wave. Then he bowled a strike. It was super, super cute. My other favorite moment was when Hines Ward dived down the lane on his stomach after making a really big shot. The guys were being goofy and making it fun to watch.

The only other Hornet who made an appearance was Peja, who came for a bit with his five-year-old son. He actually sat right behind me, which is a nice way of saying his knees were in my back because it is really hard to sit on bleachers when you’re 6-10. This is the point in the broadcast where you will definitely see me, because they do a close-up of Peja and put his name up on the screen. And lo, there I will be, trying to look like I’m not looking at myself on the screen across the way. Chris Paul came up and sat behind me and talked to Peja for a bit. Peja was mentioning a present CP had gotten his son for Christmas, I think, and saying his son wasn’t really into basketball (he knows that his dad plays but that’s about it) but ever since then he talks about Chris Paul. Aw. Peja and his son, by the way, do not speak in English to each other.

I did get introduced to and shake hands with both of them. Chris Paul was his usual polite self. I mentioned I had met him before when I won a video contest, and he said, “Oh, that’s right, the MVP video.” (I think this is more a function of there being only one video contest in the last 3 years than Chris Paul having an OMG AMAZING MEMORY, so don’t get too excited. Haha.) I was sitting right in front of the whole Paul family and friends contingent, and they were all very nice.

Me and Hines Ward after he tried to cut me off. Haha

Afterward there was a reception at Harrah’s Hotel. We chatted with some fans, random people, and Hornets employees. I had an entertaining conversation with one of the biggest name-droppers I have ever met (seriously, this guy deserved an award). Hines Ward and LaMarr Woodley amusingly parked themselves at the bar and made themselves the center of the party, chatting and taking pictures with just about everyone who came up to get a drink. They also kept pushing pineapple juice and vodka (ew!) on people. I have one funny celebrity story from that night, and here it is: I went up to the bar to grab myself a drink. After declining the pineapple and vodka, I mentioned that I was going to have one drink, because I had to work the next day. It was only 9:30 at that point. Hines asked me what I did for a living, that I had to be up at 6:30 AM for. I told him, and he informed me he was going to order the perfect drink for me. He turned away for a second, and then turned back to me with…. a bottle of water. I said, “Wait, did you just cut me off?” Him: “Yup.” Other appearances at the party included local artist Amanda Shaw and Danny Glover, who strolled in in a long trench coat and had everyone excited, even Chris Paul.

The event will air on ESPN on Super Bowl Sunday. I recommend watching or DVR-ing if you like:

• actual PBA bowling
• Chris Paul
• glimpses of Ticktock6 looking goofy on national TV
• exciting endings that go down to the very last frame

Below the cut, a gallery of pictures from the event (they’re big, so Scary Loading Time Warning). Huge thanks to Matt of Storm Surge Photography. Please contact him and not me if you’d like to use any of them on your site:

[More]

• Hoops Addict got David West to talk about Michael Eric Dyson, the media, and Byron Scott (although he doesn’t really bite on that one, haha) in a nice interview
• Twitter suspended the fake (and BRILLIANT) Devin Brown for “suspicious activity” yesterday … and there was much sadness
• My fun report (with pics!) about Chris Paul’s bowling event (no spoilers, though) should be up soon
• Dime Mag has Marcus Thornton listed as one of their Top 5 Second Round Steals
• As a resident of New Orleans who experienced Hurricane Katrina, I think we all should be concerned about the devastation in Haiti following the earthquake. Personally, I will always remember the people who sent me checks or donated clothing (try living in Boston in winter without any socks and see how that goes for you… of course I didn’t bring socks when I evacuated, I barely wear socks here) or furniture (we had an empty apartment with one mattress until a lovely couple I didn’t even know donated us their extra stuff). So if you have anything extra to spare, consider donating to Yele (Wyclef Jean’s foundation), or you can make a $10 donation to the Red Cross by texting “HAITI” to “90999? (it’ll be added to your phone bill). I am sort of sketched out by the Red Cross, however, because I believe they are not guaranteed to use your money for a specific disaster. So alternatively, you might want to consider Doctors Without Borders, Unicef, or even, to keep it basketball related, Sixer and native Haitian Samuel Dalembert’s foundation. He personally gave $100,000 and is apparently matching any donations made at the Sixers game tonight.

A lot of people aren’t particularly impressed with the Hornets winning seven out of their last eight games. The margin of victory, until last night’s blowout of the Clippers, was never more than five points during their six game win streak.

And there was much rejoicing.

The numbers do not reflect a significant improvement on offense or defense. The streak might end up being just a bunch of fool’s gold. And it’s true, they’ve been close, up-and-down, streaky games, and sometimes it just seemed like an accident that when the 48 minutes were up, the Hornets were on top.

If that’s an accident, it’s the sort of accident championships have been based on. Am I saying this is a championship caliber team? No way. But what I’m saying is there are a lot of teams in this league that are more or less equal in terms of talent/record/whatever. And it is the small, almost accidental things that put teams over the top of each other in the standings. You can break down stats and make arguments, but it just is. There is no such thing as “you didn’t deserve to win that game.” There is only “you won that game,” or “you didn’t.”

Meanwhile, don’t look now but, although he started about an assist and a half behind him last month when he came back from his injury, last night Chris Paul tied Steve Nash to lead the league in assists with 11.2. His jumper has started to come back on, as well. And he and Emeka Okafor have really started to click in the last few weeks. David West and James Posey, two players who started out the year below expectations, have turned it up a few notches during this streak. Peja’s been having some sweet first halves. Marcus Thornton is, wonderfully, back to his crashing, shot-swishing self that was on display in November. Last night he actually got an and-1 on one of his drives to the basket. The poor kid gets mugged under the basket on a nightly basis and rarely gets calls– such is the life of a second rounder– and yet he’s always back at it, crashing the boards and trying his best to finish amongst a lot of guys a lot taller than he is.

And– at the risk of going all Bill Simmons on you– the team looks like they like each other again. A few games ago, after a particularly vicious block, I saw David West reach over and give Okafor a back-of-the-head slap that almost send him into next week. Bobby Brown, say what you like about his shot selection, is infectious in his excitement when he leaps around the bench after a big play. Players are talking on the floor. Everyone on the team was messing with Posey when they announced on the jumbotron that it was his 33rd birthday last night. Chris Paul is smiling as he weaves in and out of the ranks of his competitors on his way upcourt— shut up. I’m just playing. Of course he’s not.

And now I remember how much I love pulling for this team. I’ve seen them shine, I’ve seen them fall, but damned if it’s not fun to see them climb.

Whoo!

As I sit here and reflect on Hilton Armstrong’s trade to the Kings, I think of all the times I said, “Yeah, right. Who would trade for Hilton? We’d have to pay them to take him.” And yet, here we are, and someone has indeed traded for Hilton Armstrong. I guess I’d just like to say–

Wait, what? Oh, we did pay the Kings to take him. Oh.

Just kidding, it’s always sad to see a player go. But I’m glad it was a player who wasn’t currently contributing. This is actually a much better small get-under-the-luxury-tax move than the Devin Brown trade that didn’t go through. (Things you thought you’d never type…) And really, I have to admit I kind of felt personally betrayed by Hilton. All the times I stuck up for him, all the times I said, “MAYBE THAT WAS HIS BREAKOUT GAME!!!” every 20th game where he put up 8/8 or something… all for naught. It’s sad. I guess Hilton will always remain the poster child for why you should never draft a big guy for size and then hope he “gets it” later.

Since he really hasn’t played in the last few weeks, my last memory of Hilton will be him dunking at the open practice we went to in early December, hamming it up and leaping around being goofy for the fans. The crowd loved it.  But I’m glad that will be my last memory of Hilton in Hornets colors– it’s a nice way to go out.

Here’s hoping he’ll be able to find whatever he was missing in Sacramento.

P.S. I’m not really horrified by this trade, if you look at the current mood below, I just really wanted to use that face one more time before I have to change it.

Link: Ticktock6 smacking down some peeps about this trade elsewhere for LOLZ.

It’s funny, I spent so much time getting hyped up for “THIS IS THE .500 GAME GUYS, AND WE HAVE THE KNICKS/RAPS/CRAPPY TEAM!” only to have the team continue to lose. And then the Hornets end up getting to .500 in about the most unlikely and unpredictable way possible: 1) On the road, where they were 2-13, B) Against the Jazz (yes, I consider the Jazz the most unlikely road win, even over the Lakers. The Hornets have put together some great wins in LA). And then they actually went into OKC and put in a nice balanced effort last night to string together their first road win streak of the season and a 4-game win streak overall.

It wasn’t until about ten minutes after the game ended that I realized the Hornets were a winning team for the first time this season. I think At the Hive put this aptly when he observed that this year the Hornets have “a very random resilience.” I don’t know if it’s having young rookies with fresh legs come off the bench or Byron Scott getting fired or what, but the Hornets aren’t caving and getting steamrolled when things aren’t going their way quite as badly as they were in the beginning of the season or even last year. They’re winning games they aren’t supposed to win. They’re taking care of business at home. They’ve got to be up there at the top of the list in terms of the percentage of close games they’ve played in/won this season. (Hello, stat people? Does this observation have validity?) And they’re winning games against teams that are ahead of them in the standings, ie: the teams they need to beat to grab a playoff spot. And they have the Nets this Friday.

And… oh, what the hell. Go team.

P.S. I’m going to be at Chris Paul’s bowling event this afternoon. It’s being taped to air on ESPN in February, so I can’t tell you who won or anything. But check my twitter @ticktock6 for updates!

Just kidding. With Emeka Okafor’s chef. But this article was probably the first feature I’ve read from a mainstream media all season that didn’t focus on doom and gloom and how much the Hornets suck. I really do offer them props for that. It was very refreshing to just read about a guy on the team. No drama.

Check out the rest of the feature.

Devin Brown scores a career high 30 points in the Hornets win at Utah in a wild & desperate bid to make me take him seriously

Where do we go from here, Devin? Where do we go from here?

Let me lay this out there. I get a lot of enjoyment out of my neverending mockery of you. A lot. I know it’s sort of irrational, in a “what did this guy ever do to you?” type of way. And I know that I am all about loving my team, and indeed you are, in fact, on my team. That is a conundrum. But hating you gives me pure amusement, and I think that is rare enough in life that you can understand why I am loath to let something as insignificant as your newly rediscovered ability to play basketball take all the fun away from me. Your name is like a swear word to me, always uttered in its entirety. You are neither “Devin” nor “Brown” to me, but instead some special amalgamation: “wtfdevinbrown.”

Why you, Devin Brown? It’s hard to say. I suspect it probably started when you shot 15% from three last November. I also suspect you are something of a scapegoat. “How come the Hornets sucked so badly last night?” “Because Devin Brown turned the ball over three times.” “Why is it raining and forty degrees outside?” “Probably because Devin Brown is somewhere in the city, lurking.” “Why did the toaster catch on fire and fill the apartment with smoke?” “I blame Devin Brown.” Etc. Oh yeah, and your stupid shoes with the velcro strap that you always leave flapping like a 6th grader who thinks he looks cool? … They suck too. And you look like a ninja turtle (if only DB and Bonzi Wells had been on the team at the same time. The photoshoppings could have been mind-blowing, I tell you. Mind-blowing.)

But there are also real things. Devin Brown is one of those infuriating players who has a great game every … well, honestly, it used to be every 8th or 10th game, but this season it’s been more like every 4th or 5th. And while, sure, I was glad superficially when he contributed something, because, hey, I think the Hornets have enough players dragging down their roster who contribute practically nothing, I also experienced a sinking feeling whenever Devin Brown had a good game. Because I knew deep down inside that it was just justification for Byron Scott to hand Devin Brown more minutes. Minutes that, last year, I thought would be better off given to Mo Pete (one of my favorites) or Julian Wright (youth) and, this year, Marcus Thornton (LIL BUCKETS!!!)

Devin Brown is also infuriating in that, if I compliment him, before I am finished typing the comment (“You know, Devin Brown is act– WHAT. THE. FUCK.”) or have closed my mouth, he has flailed up into the air and thrown the ball away out of bounds or taken a long two after having at least 4 seconds with no defender remotely in the same zip code to stare at his feet. Or charged someone. Or… failed in some other egregious way. (Devin Brown does have a knack for failing quite spectacularly, I have to give him that. You won’t not notice a Devin Brown turnover. Oh no.) On the flip side, if I rag on Devin mercilessly, he usually hits his threes. And the more I hate on him, the better he plays and the more I am incensed.

An actual tweet about Devin Brown.

So, I ask you, what is my motivation for ceasing my sheer irrational hatred of Devin Brown? There is none. The more I hate, the better he is. Do you really want me to stop now? Of course you don’t. And so, in answer to the several people who commented or @ replied me on Twitter and asked if I was going to stop hating on Devin Brown, hell no! It’s like a way of life, okay? You can’t just change it, just like that. Look, I have made hating on Devin Brown into a pastime, nay, an art form. You can’t ask me to give that up because– yeah, yeah, yeah, you scored 30 points. The Hornets won in Utah. The team is .500 for the first time all year. I saw you, Devin.

Just keeeeeeep walking, Leonardo………. Oh, and well played.

A little background: The Hornets held a 94-93 lead over the Rockets with 43 seconds left when Carl Landry ran over James Posey and subsequently fouled out. Rick Adelman was apparently incensed about this and made a few cutting statements to the media after the game. I have to say the officiating was pretty bad in this game– probably the worst I’ve seen at a home game this season– but it was also evenly bad. There were plenty of unbelievable calls that had the home crowd yelling and booing as well.

I know this is a floppers’ league, but come on. Can we at least pretend not to be so obvious about it?

From the AP recap:

Landry said he didn’t run over Posey intentionally and that Posey “tried to flop a little bit.”

Posey said he’d recognized the play Houston was running and moved into Landry’s path.

“He didn’t even slow down and he just ran me over and I was able to get the call,” Posey said. “It was just one of those heady plays, just saving it for a stretch like that.”

But the quote in Landry’s home paper is a little different:

When Landry ran over James Posey while looking to post up — the call that most infuriated the Rockets and fouled Landry out of the game — the Rockets had gone more than two scoreless minutes, putting Paul in position to adroitly guide the Hornets through the final minutes.

“I knew (Posey) was going to be there,” Landry said. “I tried to flop a little bit and get the call to go my way. They were at home. I guess it didn’t go our way.

The NBA: Where Complaining Because the Other Guy Is a Better Flopper Than You Happens.

• January 2009: Tracy McGrady is very nearly voted into a starting All Star Game slot over Chris Paul. Tyson Chandler gets hurt. David West gets hurt. Hilton Armstrong gets hurt (not usually a noteworthy thing in itself, but noteworthy in combination with the former two items, meaning the Hornets were almost entirely without big men).
• February 2009: Chris Paul gets hurt. Tyson Chandler and David West continue to be hurt. The Hornets trade Tyson Chandler. Then untrade Tyson Chandler.
• March 2009: Peja gets hurt. Tyson has, as aforementioned, still not been traded…. but is still hurt.
• April 2009: Hornets go 2-6 heading into the playoffs, causing them to fall to the seventh seed. But otherwise, nothing important happens this month, especially on the 27th.
• May 2009: Hornets fans are in a state of stunned shock as it is revealed that Devin Brown has a player option for 2009-10. Some other teams play some playoff games somewhere and stuff.
• June 2009: The Hornets draft DC and Marcus Buckets. Oh wait, these were good things. I guess this was a good month for the Hornets, then. Perhaps unironically, the month in which the least actual basketball was played.
• July 2009: The Hornets trade Tyson Chandler. Again. And sign some underrated guy who will never actually play for the team. Because–I know you won’t be able to guess this one– he gets hurt.
• August 2009: Hornets trade Rasual Butler for our new best friend, Cap Space.
• September 2009: Emeka Okafor gets hurt. If you were going to say, “Wait, the season hasn’t actually started yet!” … you would be right.
• October 2009: The Hornets rookies look great in preseason, and are, of course, promptly benched by Byron Scott.
• November 2009: Hornets lose a bunch of games. Byron Scott gets fired. Chris Paul gets hurt. (To add to the fun, those last two things happen within a day of each other! Good. Timez.) The national media writes 15,761 million posts and articles about how Chris Paul doesn’t smile, even though Chris Paul has never smiled on the floor. And then 365,298 posts about how the Hornets should trade him, preferably to _____ (insert beat writer’s local team).
• December 2009: Hornets have three consecutive chances to get to .500 against teams worse than them. They fail three consecutive times. Hornets, showing a real knack for capping off the Worst Year Ever in a way that pretty nicely sums things up, trade Devin Brown to the T-Wolves for cap space. And then it gets taken back. Oh, and just to bring things full circle, Tracy McGrady is very nearly voted into a starting All Star Game slot over Chris Paul. Again.

"No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again."

Did I miss anything? I think we are all in agreement when I say, “Here’s to 2010!”