One of the reasons we started this blog was to launch an all-out assault on ignorant and ill-informed media. One of the historically problematic culprits: our local paper, the Times Picayune. (Though, admittedly, they have improved much over the years.) In particular, one of those esteemed beat writers is always on our Shit List: John DeShazier. If anyone ever mastered the “Our team played great but sucked doing it and I’ll tell you how and why they suck,” J.D. has. His article in today’s paper? TT6 and can’t find it online. As far as I’m concerned, they pulled it, knowing the Hype would rip it apart. Score one for the Bush Doctrine and us. Too bad for the Times Pic, I’m going to talk about it anyway.
The article focuses on new owner Gary Chouest embarking on his interview road trip with team president, Hugh Weber, and general manager, Jeff Bower, looking for a new Hornets head coach; and assumes Chouest is monitoring and assessing Weber and Bower at the same time. Of course, Johnny cites no sources, no authorities for this information, and his story is 100% speculation. Okay. Fine. He’s an “editorial” writer. Fair enough. But I know what you’re saying, how can I verify what he said if it’s not online? Well, here it is, in black and white. Look to the right. I’m just going to focus on his most absurd points. For example, DeShazier argues that Bower has more non-playoff appearances since becoming GM in 2005 than playoff appearances (3-2). Neglecting to mention that Bower took over after the team was thrust into the much tougher Western Conference and blown up; also not mentioning that he built a winner from nothing. DeShazier also points out that Bower’s teams have declined in victory totals the last three years. Neglecting to mention that the place from which the Hornets were descending was the best Hornets regular season record ever. Or that two of those three years were the team’s best, by far, since moving to the Western Conference. Okay, but this is all really small fries, nit-picking a fellow journalist, who, as you all know, is already on our bad side. But then he makes the mistake which no doubt got his article pulled from Nola.com. Some of you may have already skimmed ahead and ruined the surprise.
DeShazier writes: “and just two draft picks – Chris Paul in 2005 and Darren Collison in 2009 – can be considered successes.” Well, certainly they were successes. But, I don’t know, maybe there was a guy drafted last year by Bower called MARCUS THORNTON. Listen folks, Thornton broke the Hornets rookie records for most points in a game, most points off the bench in a game, most 3s in a season, most combined rookie points in a season (with Collison), and most points in a single quarter. Oh yeah, he also holds the non-rookie Hornets’ records for most points off the bench and most points in a quarter. He also made the Second All-NBA Rookie team, and by most accounts, was the best 2-guard out of this year’s rookies. So if you’re John DeShazier, wake up this morning and give yourself a nice hard facepalm. Because you deserve it.
As to Marcus Thornton, on behalf of New Orleans, we apologize for all the haters and idiots. We’ll be back next year, cheering you, hyping you, and watching you help this team back to the Playoffs.