Hornets Hype

Go away, there is nothing to see here. I have the flu. Like, the real flu. The 103 degree fever and being in bed for 4 days kind. So it’s not that I hate the Hornets, it’s that I am too sick to post anything.

Congratulations to the Saints for winning the Super Bowl. Shut up, Vince Carter. Etc.

We will be back shortly. I will even give out an award or two. It will be funny. I promise. This has been a public service announcement.

While you’re sitting around waiting for the Super Bowl to start (WHO DAT!), check out Chris Paul’s bowling event, which airs on ESPN today at 2 PM EST/1 PM CST. Here’s a preview:

… after Jeff Bower inexplicably benched David West (15-5) for the entire 4th quarter of a tie game, in which the Hornets leading scorer (CP3) was out having knee surgery and the game’s leading scorer (Thornton, 22 pts) had just fallen hard and gone to the locker room, I might have done something like this first:

Shortly followed by something like this:

Would it have changed the fact that the Hornets blew a game they should’ve won to one of their closest competitors for a playoff spot, because their rookie head coach decided it would be a fun time to teach his longest tenured player and 2-time All Star a lesson? No. But it would have made me feel better.

So, I guess it’s a good thing they don’t let me go to press conferences.

I have to go. I’m, literally, an incoherent ball of rage right now. ^%$@#I*YFGSDFHJSG&$#TRA^TRDS

The Mardi Gras baby creeps me right out. Here, a rare photo of the elusive creature in the wild. Any small children sitting in the vicinity of the courtside seats, I am sure, shrieked in terror at the sight of it.

I’m sure those of you on Twitter have heard me talk about the crazy life size Mardi Gras baby that’s been appearing in one of the Hornets’ timeout “entertainments” during carnival season. Well, last night I put the call out on the Twitterator for someone to send me a picture of it, and here it is.

This description of the phenomenon is from Toney Blare’s SLAM Online recap of the Spurs/Hornets game a couple of weeks ago:

During a break, there appear in the crowd three mascots, each with a large plastic head: a king, a baby, and a jester. We are within breathing room of Mardi Gras, when you eat King Cake, sort of like a super-sugary circle of cinnamon roll. Inside each cake is a small plastic baby, and whoever finds it buys the next cake. Let me say, it gets out of hand in offices all over town for upwards of a month. Now, I’m telling you all of this because I can’t imagine what the Spurs must think. The three mascots “race” down to the court, the baby looking especially ghoulish and slow. They circle through some yellow cones, with the King winning by crossing a purple finish line held by Hugo the Hornet and the Geico Gecko. I didn’t mention him until the end, because he really was the most innocuous of these newcomers. That baby actually scared me, like the clown from IT or some sh*t.

I am not gonna lie, this thing freaks me right out. Maybe it’s because I am also irrationally terrified of the creepy Burger King that lurks around women’s windows in the commercials like a plastic-headed peeping tom. This baby looks way too similar to that for me to be comfortable with it. Maybe it’s like how some people have a fear of clowns. Either way, you better believe that my uneasy truce with the Mardi Gras baby is SOLELY due to the fact that I sit in the last row of the lower bowl, far enough from the court to feel fairly safe from it coming after me.

The baby always loses the race, by the way.

After that amazing overtime win last night… after winning 8 out of 11 on the road in January… after the way the team came together and showed all that fight… after scrapping and clawing back into a playoff spot…

I give up.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=ys-paulsurgery013110&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Please feel free to commiserate in the comment thread, and I shall join you when I come down from this ledge. Which may not be … ever.

From this article posted yesterday, detailing the following exchange between Chris Paul and a Portland locker room attendant:

CP: There’s cheese on this chicken sandwich. I’m allergic to cheese.

PLRA: You didn’t say no cheese.

CP: I didn’t think I had to say no cheese. It’s a chicken sandwich.

PLRA: (Picks up menu) It says right here it comes with cheese. Wouldn’t you expect cheese on a hamburger?

CP: No, I would expect cheese on a cheeseburger. A hamburger shouldn’t have cheese. Neither should a chicken sandwich. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life.

PLRA: Do you want to order something else?

CP: Do you have chicken strips?

PLRA: Yeah.

CP: Can you make sure I get them without cheese?

It’s the only explanation for last night (38-9-6) … Shout out to @artgarcia_nba for the link.

Oh and HEY, if you didn’t know, the Hornets are in the playoffs! If the season ended today they’d be the #8 seed, after stringing together an 11-4 January with a pretty tough schedule.

This CP3 Mardi Gras bobblehead NEEDS to be in my life. Seriously. It’s not optional. They’re giving away 10,000 on Feb. 5 against the Sixers.

I am even going to bust out the rarely used “Dead Sexy” mood, just for this. Because this bobblehead is dead sexy.

CP3 Mardi Gras Bobblehead

The Hornets May Have Won the Battle But Lost the War– a post on the Dime blog about the Hornets salary moves. With input from me, Hornets 247, and At the Hive. Oh, and Bonus!Ranty Comments by me, I guess. Sorry about that. This is one of my very favorite topics for ranting, as you well know. But props to Dime. Noticed how they went and actually asked Hornets media & blogs. Amazing concept, that.

New Orleans rookie Marcus Thornton seizing the moment– According to the TP, there are rumors (which he denies) that Marcus Thornton told some kids at LSU over the summer he’d be starting by midseason. Ha. I said so too. Guess we’re both right.

Buckets doesn’t make the Rookie Team — kinda lame but not surprising. He’s averaging 9.7 pts-2 rebs on 43% shooting in 19 minutes, way less than the minutes some of those kids are getting to put up their numbers. I wasn’t that impressed with either Flynn or Curry (ugh, watch me say that and he goes off on us tonight, haha). I mean, you can’t really argue with any of the rookies who made it, but I will say it’s too bad Byron Scott hurt Thornton’s chances by not playing him early. I wonder, though, if it’s harder to make a team like this as a pure scorer– even a very efficient one– when you’re not putting up significant numbers in any other categories. All those point guards have numbers in the assists column too. Marcus’ stats per 36 are 18.2 pts-3.7 rebs– some of those other kids already play 36 and aren’t close to that.

But! He’s #5 in the NBA.com Rookie Rankings this week! — Go figure.

This column from Mark Monteith at SI.com fails so hard at containing real facts (especially Okafor versus Chandler) and following a chronological timeline of what actually went down that it made me weep tears of pure sarcasm. Or wait, is that not possible? Try to spot the two places he  contradicts himself. Let’s make it a fun game!

Introducing... your new Hornets backcourt

Last night was huge for TEAM THORNTON. Huge. Hornets Hype’s favorite rookie (Can we make him our mascot? We could put him in the banner… would that be weird? No, OK. It would) came crashing out of the gates in his first NBA start, putting up 9 points in the first 5 minutes of the first quarter. He would quiet down after that, finishing with 19 on 8-12 shooting, but he and Darren Collison, in that crazy fast three-headed guard lineup that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, played a huge part in 10-1 run the Hornets went on in the last three minutes to squeak out yet another close game over the Blazers.

Highlights of Lil Buckets’ big debut night included a sick alley-oop from Chris Paul and a flagrant 1 foul when he elbowed Rudy Fernandez while fighting through a screen (whoops). Portland fans, feel free to come call me a Dusche Bagel, but he totally Euro-flopped. He whipped his head back and dropped like a rock, even though the replay showed Marcus’ elbow never even touched his chin. (Not the first elbow, the second one. Leading with the elbow into the chest was a foul, though flagrant is a stretch.) But enough on the foul because it didn’t end up being an issue; it was a solid debut and my favorite part of the night was the big smile on Thornton’s face when CST interviewed him postgame. Or maybe it was the rare smile on Chris Paul’s.

These close games, wow. WOW. When was the last time the Hornets were in a game that didn’t come down to the very last possession? (I checked. It was when they lost to the Spurs five games ago. Before that it was the Clippers win. People, that’s only TWO games out of the 14 they’ve played in January that weren’t close. And neither of them were by more than 8 points either. Between this team and the Saints the other night, I’m going to develop weird hand tremors and a heart condition.)  But you know what? Don’t look now, but this team has become fun to watch. They’re coming out scrappy, and they’ve fashioned themselves into ice cold closers. With the West as crazy as it is– the Hornets are currently in a three-way tie for 9th place but are only 2 games out of 4th– they’re going to need these close games.

And finally. Chris Paul.

You know, I was going to elaborate, but what’s the point? Is there a verb that even describes what Chris Paul did last night? Or is he himself the verb? Yes. That’s what we’ll go with: The Blazers were Chris Pauled.

UPDATE: Lil Buckets shoutout on The Basketball Jones today! It’s at the very end after the Whoa Boy (which– I’m just gonna ruin it for you– is Chris Paul).

I did a lil Q&A, a lil pregame fun, with Sophia from the Portland Trailblazers blog Bust a Bucket. You should go check out my answers over there, although they would have been a bit different had I known Devin Brown was going to be traded today. You should also go solely to witness that most brilliant and rare of creatures that is not one but two female NBA bloggers previewing a game. The concept is mind-blowing, I know.

A Gratuitous Picture of Brandon Roy, who someone-- I am not saying it's me, but you know, someone-- might have a small crush on

TT6: What’s the deal with Brandon Roy’s on-again off-again hamstring injury? Is it correct that he’s not playing tonight?

Sophia: Roy remains ineligible to play tonight. He was reported to undergo PRP Therapy last week and he’s still recovering from that. The team has been fairly mum about the actual injury and the severity, however he was diagnosed with a hamstring strain. He missed a game, then returned to play, then went back with trainer Jay Jensen to get a second opinion during the team’s most recent road trip. Needless to say, this particular injury and the management of the situation has caused many fans consternation. What IS the deal with Brandon’s hamstring? No one quite knows.

Sophia: There really are a number of reasons. Before Roy was sidelined with the injury he was playing phenomenally in December and January. He had a bumpy start to the season in some respects but really turned up the intensity and took on more scoring and assisting responsibilities when first Greg, then Pryzbilla went down. He showed why he deserves to be an All Star. Martell Webster has been shooting lights out for the last month or so. His confidence is soaring. He’s been active defensively (sometimes he gets lost on that end) and has been rebounding more. He’s really stepped up with the extra minutes he took on. The depleted bench includes Dante Cunningham, Jeff Pendergraph and [sometimes] Patty Mills. Dante is my absolute favorite role player. He has played extremely well and is becoming an excellent defender.  He has shown the ability to play well against opposing 3’s and 4’s. Defensively he’s absolute money , he’s rebounding monster and he can shoot. By far the best surprise of the season. Jerryd Bayless got a couple starts and has seen increased playing time. He has had some monster games and is a real spark-plug. He has had some crappy games, but overall he has really stepped up his play as well. The work he put into his shot this past summer shows and he has logged more assists and rebounds than many thought he was capable of.  I cant forget Juwon Howard either. He has been absolutely key to dealing with the “no center” situation. He’s played many minutes and is rebounding, defending and adding a little toughness and attitude that Joel would have provided last season. I wont go all out and say Howard is the reason the team has kept afloat, but he’s a big part of it.  So ok, tons of people have stepped up. Any Blazer fan can argue that any one guy has done something that is the key to keep the Blazers winning, but truly its been a total team effort. Every night they have played like they have nothing to lose with this “us against the world” attitude. I love it.

Sophia: OOOOOH ! I really want to write “Dante Cunningham” for this but that isn’t honest. I would have to say Brandon Roy. He’s our All Star and is AWESOME! He is Mr. 4th Quarter, Mr. Fearless Leader , Mr. Play-When-Injured. He’s been this team’s everything (cue love music)  and without him this season or long term, I shudder to think what the Blazers become.