Hornets Hype

Two Hornets + Tyson’s wife + ceiling fan repair man = Instant Win.

I just wanted to draw your attention to the Awesomest Video of the Week, brought to you by Alejandro de los Rios over at Best of New Orleans Blog. He told us about this interview last week, but it was just recently posted up at ESPN the Mag for your viewing pleasure. You really have to witness the awesomeness.

It’s a contest between Jannero Pargo and Tyson Chandler’s wife Kimberly to see which one of them knows Tyson best. You have to watch till the end for the best nickname for the 7′1 Chandler ever invented.

No, seriously. I challenge you.

That was nothing less than a masterful ass-kicking from start to finish. I think most Hornets fans were concerned about the fact that, going back to the last 10 games before the playoffs started, we haven’t seen consistent play throughout four quarters. Well, we saw what it looks like tonight.

It cannot be stopped.

Chris Paul. Again. 32 and 17 with 5 rebounds and 3 steals. Five other Hornets in double digits. West knocking down 11 of 17 (damn, it didn’t seem like he missed that many). And seriously? Did they watch the tape on West? How was he left alone for those couple of mid-range jumpers? Peja is just dirty. No, dirty. That shot where he waits… waits… and then after the defender flies across him and into the crowd, just sloooowwwly goes up and buries the dagger.

Giant Peja heads on sticks: whatever drugs the Hornets’ staff were on when they came up with that idea, I want in. In the 4th Quarter there was actually what resembled a Native American dance of sorts at center court with the Peja heads. To the tune of “Shout!” You can’t make this stuff up.

2-0. This thing is rolling. There’s still room on the wagon. Get on it now.

HypeMeter: The press conference is on NBATV right now. I laughed out loud at the question that was just asked of Byron Scott. “Coach, is there any way to defend your team when you look like that on offense?” LOL again at CP3 and D West coming in together, joking back and forth the whole way. “No, no, they said Haier, like the commercial, but I thought they were saying ‘on fire’…” (I have no idea what this conversation was about or where it started, but it was funny.)

This is for all the folks who keep getting here by Googling the search term “How tall is Chris Paul?” or other variants thereof.

I offer you this answer:

Taller than me, y’all. Taller than me.

Or here, I’ll be more helpful. I’m 5′6. The heels on my shoes are roughly 3 inches high. But my head is slightly tilted. So you know, like, you do the math.

Or I could be even more helpful and tell you that Chris Paul is listed as 6′0. But in actuality he’s probably 5′11.

Yes. You can now feel free to bow to his greatness.

And that’s my public service for the day. (Man, I am shameless when it comes to putting up that picture. That was totally gratuitous. You got me.)

So I’ll be the first to admit that one of the only consolations for having to miss Game One came from being able to see our very own David “Fluffy” West get up in Dirk Nowitzki’s face in the 4th quarter. And then watch the replay and be like, “He actually tapped him on the face. Wow. Wow. D WEST MOTHAFUCKAAAAS!!!!”

(If you missed it because you were at the game, and you probably were like, “Double technicals what? Eh, whatever” and/or were high on life during that part of the 4th quarter, shall we say… here it is at the bottom of the post, plus Bonus! Idiotic Commentary.)

Seriously? Would anyone have really noticed if Sir Chuck and Co. hadn’t gotten up to their old tricks during halftime coverage yesterday, talking about how they’re “from the 80’s, man” and they would have punched him or sent a thug after him? mW just watched the clip and noted that the way this whole thing has been blown out of proportion seems more homophobic than anything else. “OH MY GOD. YOU CANNOT LET ANOTHER MAN TOUCH YOUR FACE! THE WORLD WILL END!”

Come on. I’ve seen David West in angry-mode and that wasn’t it. He was pretty calm, Dirk was pretty calm. Obviously some explicit language was tossed around, or there wouldn’t have been double technicals called. But he did NOT bitchslap, pimpslap, or any other sort of slap him. Yes, it’s a bit invasive to get all up in someone’s space and touch them like that, and it was a ballsy move on DX’s part, but how come no one brings up the fact that he’s obviously reacting to getting elbowed and telling Dirk to watch it? I mean, if you watch the whole play you can see him wiping the blood off his lip, plus the cut is clearly visible at the press conference. It’s not like West was like, “Oh, let’s go push around Dirk because he’s soft.” It was reactionary.

And both of them did the smart thing by not reacting further. Hello. They’re the #1 and #2 go-to guys for their respective teams, and it’s only Game 1. What do you think they’re going to do? Yet every time I turn around, there is another thing about this on the internet. “Dirk is soft! The Mavs should trade everyone and start over!” And, infuriatingly, every other one of them is like, “Who is David West anyway? Punk.” (I’m not going to bother to illuminate them at this time, because chances are if you’re here, you already know the beastliness that is David West.)

And finally, True Hoop is like, “Oh please.”

And Nowitzki did finish with 31 and 10. It’s not like he was emasculated by the event.

Let’s be honest: if the Mavericks had won that game, nobody would have said anything. Instead, they lost, and there is pressure on all involved to explain why the Mavericks lost. It has to be somebody’s fault. You could make a strong case out of the team’s habitual inability to slow supernova guards like Chris Paul. You could point to how well Jannero Pargo draped himself all over Jason Terry. You could also wonder when, exactly, Josh Howard will be ready to play his game again.

None of that is as sexy as signing up the most obvious Maverick for the most obvious criticism.

So, now that Game One’s in the books, we’re going to have to be watching carefully to see what changes are made. It’s one of the most fascinating things about a 7-game series– watching how matchups and adjustments are made. It’s a give and take.

I feel like Game One also confirmed some suspicions I had about the last regular season matchup between Dallas and New Orleans. I don’t know… there were just a couple of things about last Wednesday’s game that, if you’ve been watching the Hornets all season, could be described as weird. For one, the lineups were unusual. As a fan, you love to see wins and you love to see that killer instinct. You don’t like to think your team would throw a game to get a matchup. And yet, if Dallas wins, the Hornets play Dallas. If Dallas loses, the Hornets play Denver and Dallas plays the Lakers.

John Hollinger had an interesting breakdown of this today on ESPN. He mentions something that was a red flag to me last Wednesday, namely the play of Jannero Pargo in Game One, who covered both Jasons– Terry and Kidd. We saw barely 8 minutes of Pargo on Wednesday, which is out of the ordinary. Pargo usually comes out initially to backup CP, then later in the game, they’ll play together and get some nice movement going. Instead Byron Scott played Mike James for more minutes than I’ve seen him have, maybe since he’s been a Hornet. We were thinking, “Why the hell is he playing James?” … unless he wanted the Mavs to think he’d go to Mike James. He didn’t want Pargo out there, because he didn’t want to show all his cards. Which means he wanted the Mavs all along.

Sure enough, in Game One here’s Pargo with two major defensive assignments. Mike James? DNP. Also, on Wednesday they were double teaming Dirk, and leaving Jason Kidd wide open. That disappeared in Game One, when the Hornets seemed more ready to just let Dirk go and shut down everyone else, particularly Terry, who gave us trouble. Add to that the fact that CP3’s five fouls came in suspiciously quick succession. And today I’ve even seen a couple of quotes to the effect that the Hornets are happy with getting the Mavs matchup… I’m just saying the Hornets had a plan Wednesday night, and I don’t think it was winning. I think it was mind games.

If the Hornets coaching staff wanted the Mavs, they got what they wanted. I hope they know what they’re doing. Gotta trust. I don’t know, maybe it was more of a “just in case we see them” mentality than a “let’s try to lose,” but the matchups were… different.

And now, on to Game Two. In particular, I want to see what the Mavs decide to do with Chris Paul. I want to see if there’s going to be fallout from the David West-Dirk Nowitzki face slap incident, which apparently was a subject of discussion on TNT yesterday (OK, not apparently, here’s the video). It wasn’t so much a slap as a tap, but I think the Hornets kind of have to be assholes to show they’re not going to be intimidated, and I love D West for doing it.

I want to see the next move of Coach Scott’s chess game.

I’ve added a Flickr album, which you can click on in the sidebar. So if you want, you can check out our photos from the Hornets “Fan Up!” Pep Rally, and our photos from when we won the CP3 for MVP video contest.

Some of the later ones are kind of blurry, because someone was drinking/celebrating the Southwest Division Title and accidentally left the zoom on even though the players were 3 feet away. (Seriously. mW saw David West’s butt once while he was fixing his shorts. We were that close. I would have been much more appreciative of David West’s naked ass, but alas.) But you can still get a good idea of how much fun this whole thing was.

Geaux Hornets!

So here’s how it happens.

I’m in Tampa at a dinner, and I keep texting for the score. The Hornets are down by 12 at the half. The next time it’s 6. Five minutes later it’s 5. The last time I check it’s 68-65. I leave to go watch the rest of the game in the hotel bar. On the way I get a message from mW. It just says, “Wow… Go Hornets!”

And I know. I just know.

I walk up to the bar, and there in ESPN HD, the first thing I hear is, “Chris Paul has taken over this game.” New Orleans has a six-point lead.

Someone says, “There are still 9 minutes left.”

I said, “You know how many times this season the Hornets have come from behind in the second half at home and then given up the lead? Never.”

And I watch as he smokes a double team, weaves around a third defender, and takes it effortlessly right up the middle to the basket, like a dancer. And I listen as the commentating on this game stops being about Dirk Nowitzki, or Jason Kidd, or about the Mavs at all. With 35 points, 10 assists, 4 steals, and only one turnover, the “MVP!” chants thundering down, Chris Paul has said an emphatic, “Hell no. This is my party.”

It is a gorgeous thing to watch.

NBA Playoffs, meet Chris Paul.

CP3 HypeMeter: Paul finds his groove in winning playoff debut, Paul trumps experience in playoff debut. But SI gives a little bit of hate.

These are shots from after the Hornets’ 104-92 Game One victory. I bet Kobe doesn’t look this happy at his press conferences. Hell, I know he doesn’t. Smile away, guys. You earned it. (Gotta love D West’s battle scar too!)

TysonBlog: Round One Version. The best part excerpted below:

It’s comical to me that they wanted to play us. First of all, it’s comical to me that you’re scared of a team, and say that you don’t want to play them.

But it reminds me of when I was little. I begged for the My Buddy doll, begged for the My Buddy doll. I kept asking, “Ma, get me the My Buddy. Ma, get me the My Buddy.” But my mom couldn’t really afford it, so she couldn’t get it for me at that time.

So, I kept at it. “Ma, get me a My Buddy. Every other kid got a My Buddy. Mom, I never get anything!” Just making my mom feel bad.

So, my uncle told my mom, “I’ll fix this.” I didn’t know my uncle told my mom that, but he came over with this video and pops it in the machine. I’m like, “Ah, My Buddy!” And it turns out it was the Chucky movie.

All the next week, I’m telling my mom, “Please, don’t get me My Buddy. Please, don’t get me My Buddy.”

So sometimes, what you think you really want, you don’t really want. The Mavericks think they want us, and they asked for us, and we ain’t gonna be My Buddy. They’re gonna get Chucky.

Also, I’m so over the MVP race drama now, but this is pretty funny.

Last night the Hornets threw a party on Fulton Street downtown. Well, I’m not one to miss a good party, so here’s a recap of the event… with pictures!

We got there just as the team was taking the stage. Rob Nice introduced the players one by one, and they came out tossing shirts to the crowd. Then Byron Scott took the mike and said a few words. They announced that the giveaway for Saturday night is a free t-shirt—here’s what it looks like: guess they decided to go for the “teal-out”– and stressed that you are supposed to put them ON. Then the team was out, high fiveing fans as they left. Oh, except Jeff Bower, the NBA’s most anonymous GM, who, as usual, didn’t leave but instead slipped into the crowd unnoticed by pretty much everyone except our group.

All the TVs outside the bars were playing the Hornets’ season montage over and over (I could watch that thing all day, I swear). There were performances from the Hornets Drumline, the Honeybees, and the Used to Bees. There was also a band, who got murderous “not amused” looks from us for bringing up LSU way more often than acceptable at a Hornets rally. They had a couple of bars set up outside, some tables where you could win prizes, and a small merchandise booth. FYI, we were told the Southwest Division T-shirts are available at the Arena now, if anyone’s interested in grabbing one. Poydras Street has Hornets signs hanging from all the streetlights, and that building with the dome on top is lit up in teal, gold, and purple.

They gave away some nice swag at the rally, the best freebies being lawn signs (there I am with mine below) and “Geaux Hornets” window decals. Because we are dedicated to bringing the Hype, I debated snagging 20 or so of the signs and sneaking around at night sticking them all over the neutral ground on St. Charles, but it would have been hard to hold a beer with a stack of 20 signs.

I decided to make a HornetsHype Flickr account, so you can go there to check out the rest of the pics from last night.

Finally, I’m going to be in Tampa through Sunday morning, so I leave you in the capable hands of mW. (Yes, I’m missing Game 1. Don’t get me started.) I’m on the plane now, and the guy two seats over is reading today’s Times Picayune. I noticed from looking over his shoulder that there appear to be at least two editorials on the Hornets in the Metro section, a measure of how far things have come.

Behind me, a woman is lifting her little kid up to the window to watch the other planes taxi down the runway at MSY. “No, no,” she says. “We haven’t taken off yet. But we will in just a little bit. And then we’re going to go higher and higher.”

Sounds familiar.