Hornets Hype

I could watch that again and again.

Oh, and the Hornets win 97-84 to take the 3-1 series lead.

HUGE game. HUGE win in Dallas.

Goodbye, Jason Kidd. We might not be seeing you again.

How did the Hornets overcome the double Kiss of Death that was Dallas’ arena and the Hornets watch party? They made a few superstitious changes of their own, attempting to counteract the heaps of bad karma… by busting out the yellow jerseys. Good idea, guys.

And a good night.

For the love of the Hornets, I beg you.

Stop having them.

No, really. It’s the playoffs. This stuff counts now. The Hornets marketing people need to take a serious look at what they might be doing to the team. As a refresher, let’s take a look at the Hornets’ record this season for Official Watch Parties:

2/23 @ San Antonio… L 89-98

3/16 @ Detroit… L 84-105

3/28 @ Boston… L 92-112

4/11 @ LA… L 104-107

4/25 @ Dallas… L 87-97

So not only do the Hornets have to contend tonight with their record of 0-14 in Dallas’ arena over the last 10 years, they also have to deal with the 0-5 Kiss of Death that is the officially sponsored watch party. Thanks a lot, guys. On Friday I seriously wanted to tackle Brittany, wrestle the mike away from her, and yell, “NO! The watch party for Sunday will NOT be here at Gordon Biersch! It is cancelled! Stay away! GO HOME PEOPLE, GO HOME!”

Now, you haters out there might be saying, “Well, Ticktock, those five games are against quality playoff teams. In fact, with the exception of Dallas, none of those teams finished lower than a #3 seed.”

Whatever. I know better. It’s the Watch Party of Doom. You’ll notice that the Hornets have beaten four out of five of those teams on other nights (the exception is the 0-for against the Pistons this year). The Hornets have even won road games against two of those teams. Shit, they only lost 15 road games this season.

So next you might be saying, “Well, if you feel that way, then don’t go.” But see, that’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if I don’t go. I’ve only gone to two. Who attends is not the issue. Also not the issue is the location of the party. The losses have taken place three times at Bruno’s, twice in Covington, and once at G.B. It’s the very existence of the party that causes the Hornets to lose.

For the sake of the series, I hope the Hornets come out firing tonight. That’s a lot of baggage, but I hope they can overcome.

We, for the record, will not be going.

The Hornets better watch out.

All three teams who were down 2-0 won last night. Washington and Toronto did it at home. Houston took a rare one on the road in Utah (but then, Utah had already won a rare two on the road in Houston, so it’s proving to be a weird series). The Hornets have looked impressive in the first two games in the series, but tonight is going to be huge. If Dallas takes one back, it’s a new series.

We’re going to find out who this team is tonight.

Speaking of this team, has anyone noticed that ESPN has been dispensing mad Hornet love lately?

* This article finally praised the Hornets, maybe overmuch, calling them “the most complete team left in the NBA.”

* John Hollinger gives the team almost daily attention.

* David West, Chris Paul, and Josh Howard talk about the influence of their shared college coach, the late Skip Prosser.

Meanwhile, the good ol’ boys who “played in the ’80’s, man” on TNT keep talking Mavs, Mavs, Mavs. Charles Barkley jumped on the CP3 bandwagon briefly a couple of weeks back, then promptly changed his mind and jumped back off. Never mind his ignorant “the Hornets play in a mausoleum” comment, which by the way, was immortalized by our favorite hometown signmakers, Apple and Larry, at the Arena.

So we’ve got the beginning signs of ESPN playing themselves off the $#*t List. And we’ve got TNT sinking deeper and deeper into the mire of Hornets hate…

Speaking of crowds, who caught the Toronto game? Wow. They’re so coordinated. Not only did they manage to all be wearing the proper color t-shirt, but they managed to coherently sing an entire “Ole.” The Hornets crowd is like a disorganized mob in comparison. It’s loud… but it needs work on its cheer coordination.

Finally, there’s a watch party tonight starting at 6:30 at Gordon Biersch, which is sort of the Official Bar of the New Orleans Hornets– if you didn’t know, they broadcast the Hornets postgame call-in show from G.B. after games, plus there’s a discount if you bring your program. You can also ask Joe Block a question on the air. I’m sort of ambivalent on watch parties, since the Hornets are 0-4 this year in games with an official watch party. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to drag my superstitious ass down there.

But then again, everything starts fresh in the playoffs! You should come on down and say hi. I’ll be the one wearing who’s a girl.

So I’m on my way to work, and I hear an unidentified Hornet on an Eric Hill Nissan radio spot. I’m like, “Oh, word. Another sketchy local ad featuring a Hornet! You know you’ve really made it when you get your own sketchy local ad.”

I missed the beginning of the ad, so here I am trying to figure out which Hornet player it was. I know it’s not CP3, West, Stojakovic, Peterson, or Chandler, because I know what they sound like. I know it’s not Pargo because he mumbles. I think, “What other Hornet is well-known enough to be in the Nissan ad, but at the same time not too cool to be in the Nissan ad?” I wonder to myself, “Julian Wright?”

On the drive home, I hear the same ad again from the beginning, and sure enough it’s Julian Wright.

Looking back, I should have known only the rookie is gonna have a Nissan.

So we’ve got JuJu in the Nissan ad, Mo Pete in the hilarious Morris Bart commercial (where he might be made of cardboard and the ball flies into the basket from the totally wrong angle), and CP in the A-1 Appliance ad (taking over from Reggie Bush). Are there any other Hornets in local ads that I haven’t seen/heard?

This post is dedicated to Peja on a Stick. I have nothing to say about it. It’s self-explanatory. The crazy speaks for itself.

Two Hornets + Tyson’s wife + ceiling fan repair man = Instant Win.

I just wanted to draw your attention to the Awesomest Video of the Week, brought to you by Alejandro de los Rios over at Best of New Orleans Blog. He told us about this interview last week, but it was just recently posted up at ESPN the Mag for your viewing pleasure. You really have to witness the awesomeness.

It’s a contest between Jannero Pargo and Tyson Chandler’s wife Kimberly to see which one of them knows Tyson best. You have to watch till the end for the best nickname for the 7′1 Chandler ever invented.

No, seriously. I challenge you.

That was nothing less than a masterful ass-kicking from start to finish. I think most Hornets fans were concerned about the fact that, going back to the last 10 games before the playoffs started, we haven’t seen consistent play throughout four quarters. Well, we saw what it looks like tonight.

It cannot be stopped.

Chris Paul. Again. 32 and 17 with 5 rebounds and 3 steals. Five other Hornets in double digits. West knocking down 11 of 17 (damn, it didn’t seem like he missed that many). And seriously? Did they watch the tape on West? How was he left alone for those couple of mid-range jumpers? Peja is just dirty. No, dirty. That shot where he waits… waits… and then after the defender flies across him and into the crowd, just sloooowwwly goes up and buries the dagger.

Giant Peja heads on sticks: whatever drugs the Hornets’ staff were on when they came up with that idea, I want in. In the 4th Quarter there was actually what resembled a Native American dance of sorts at center court with the Peja heads. To the tune of “Shout!” You can’t make this stuff up.

2-0. This thing is rolling. There’s still room on the wagon. Get on it now.

HypeMeter: The press conference is on NBATV right now. I laughed out loud at the question that was just asked of Byron Scott. “Coach, is there any way to defend your team when you look like that on offense?” LOL again at CP3 and D West coming in together, joking back and forth the whole way. “No, no, they said Haier, like the commercial, but I thought they were saying ‘on fire’…” (I have no idea what this conversation was about or where it started, but it was funny.)

This is for all the folks who keep getting here by Googling the search term “How tall is Chris Paul?” or other variants thereof.

I offer you this answer:

Taller than me, y’all. Taller than me.

Or here, I’ll be more helpful. I’m 5′6. The heels on my shoes are roughly 3 inches high. But my head is slightly tilted. So you know, like, you do the math.

Or I could be even more helpful and tell you that Chris Paul is listed as 6′0. But in actuality he’s probably 5′11.

Yes. You can now feel free to bow to his greatness.

And that’s my public service for the day. (Man, I am shameless when it comes to putting up that picture. That was totally gratuitous. You got me.)

So I’ll be the first to admit that one of the only consolations for having to miss Game One came from being able to see our very own David “Fluffy” West get up in Dirk Nowitzki’s face in the 4th quarter. And then watch the replay and be like, “He actually tapped him on the face. Wow. Wow. D WEST MOTHAFUCKAAAAS!!!!”

(If you missed it because you were at the game, and you probably were like, “Double technicals what? Eh, whatever” and/or were high on life during that part of the 4th quarter, shall we say… here it is at the bottom of the post, plus Bonus! Idiotic Commentary.)

Seriously? Would anyone have really noticed if Sir Chuck and Co. hadn’t gotten up to their old tricks during halftime coverage yesterday, talking about how they’re “from the 80’s, man” and they would have punched him or sent a thug after him? mW just watched the clip and noted that the way this whole thing has been blown out of proportion seems more homophobic than anything else. “OH MY GOD. YOU CANNOT LET ANOTHER MAN TOUCH YOUR FACE! THE WORLD WILL END!”

Come on. I’ve seen David West in angry-mode and that wasn’t it. He was pretty calm, Dirk was pretty calm. Obviously some explicit language was tossed around, or there wouldn’t have been double technicals called. But he did NOT bitchslap, pimpslap, or any other sort of slap him. Yes, it’s a bit invasive to get all up in someone’s space and touch them like that, and it was a ballsy move on DX’s part, but how come no one brings up the fact that he’s obviously reacting to getting elbowed and telling Dirk to watch it? I mean, if you watch the whole play you can see him wiping the blood off his lip, plus the cut is clearly visible at the press conference. It’s not like West was like, “Oh, let’s go push around Dirk because he’s soft.” It was reactionary.

And both of them did the smart thing by not reacting further. Hello. They’re the #1 and #2 go-to guys for their respective teams, and it’s only Game 1. What do you think they’re going to do? Yet every time I turn around, there is another thing about this on the internet. “Dirk is soft! The Mavs should trade everyone and start over!” And, infuriatingly, every other one of them is like, “Who is David West anyway? Punk.” (I’m not going to bother to illuminate them at this time, because chances are if you’re here, you already know the beastliness that is David West.)

And finally, True Hoop is like, “Oh please.”

And Nowitzki did finish with 31 and 10. It’s not like he was emasculated by the event.

Let’s be honest: if the Mavericks had won that game, nobody would have said anything. Instead, they lost, and there is pressure on all involved to explain why the Mavericks lost. It has to be somebody’s fault. You could make a strong case out of the team’s habitual inability to slow supernova guards like Chris Paul. You could point to how well Jannero Pargo draped himself all over Jason Terry. You could also wonder when, exactly, Josh Howard will be ready to play his game again.

None of that is as sexy as signing up the most obvious Maverick for the most obvious criticism.

So, now that Game One’s in the books, we’re going to have to be watching carefully to see what changes are made. It’s one of the most fascinating things about a 7-game series– watching how matchups and adjustments are made. It’s a give and take.

I feel like Game One also confirmed some suspicions I had about the last regular season matchup between Dallas and New Orleans. I don’t know… there were just a couple of things about last Wednesday’s game that, if you’ve been watching the Hornets all season, could be described as weird. For one, the lineups were unusual. As a fan, you love to see wins and you love to see that killer instinct. You don’t like to think your team would throw a game to get a matchup. And yet, if Dallas wins, the Hornets play Dallas. If Dallas loses, the Hornets play Denver and Dallas plays the Lakers.

John Hollinger had an interesting breakdown of this today on ESPN. He mentions something that was a red flag to me last Wednesday, namely the play of Jannero Pargo in Game One, who covered both Jasons– Terry and Kidd. We saw barely 8 minutes of Pargo on Wednesday, which is out of the ordinary. Pargo usually comes out initially to backup CP, then later in the game, they’ll play together and get some nice movement going. Instead Byron Scott played Mike James for more minutes than I’ve seen him have, maybe since he’s been a Hornet. We were thinking, “Why the hell is he playing James?” … unless he wanted the Mavs to think he’d go to Mike James. He didn’t want Pargo out there, because he didn’t want to show all his cards. Which means he wanted the Mavs all along.

Sure enough, in Game One here’s Pargo with two major defensive assignments. Mike James? DNP. Also, on Wednesday they were double teaming Dirk, and leaving Jason Kidd wide open. That disappeared in Game One, when the Hornets seemed more ready to just let Dirk go and shut down everyone else, particularly Terry, who gave us trouble. Add to that the fact that CP3’s five fouls came in suspiciously quick succession. And today I’ve even seen a couple of quotes to the effect that the Hornets are happy with getting the Mavs matchup… I’m just saying the Hornets had a plan Wednesday night, and I don’t think it was winning. I think it was mind games.

If the Hornets coaching staff wanted the Mavs, they got what they wanted. I hope they know what they’re doing. Gotta trust. I don’t know, maybe it was more of a “just in case we see them” mentality than a “let’s try to lose,” but the matchups were… different.

And now, on to Game Two. In particular, I want to see what the Mavs decide to do with Chris Paul. I want to see if there’s going to be fallout from the David West-Dirk Nowitzki face slap incident, which apparently was a subject of discussion on TNT yesterday (OK, not apparently, here’s the video). It wasn’t so much a slap as a tap, but I think the Hornets kind of have to be assholes to show they’re not going to be intimidated, and I love D West for doing it.

I want to see the next move of Coach Scott’s chess game.