Hornets Hype

Hello. I am the perfect ref. I am the canonical proportion of he/she who controls/ manages the NBA games. It is also my job to deliver on the expectations of David Stern and other league officials. Moreover, I am paid to protect certain players and teams.

For example, when the upstart New Orleans Hornets come out at halftime playing stifling defense and making shots, and pulling within 5 of the stalwart Spurs at the 10:07 mark, I feel the need to call an offensive, if ridiculous, foul on Chris Paul, who incidentally, was taking over an NBA game without being named Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, or Tim Duncan. So, over the next 1:23 of game time, I make sure to call another foul on Chris, and three on David West, who although not playing his best game, has started the third quarter hot and might take over the game. Just for good measure, I’ll call a technical foul on West too. Incidentally, I’ll ignore the fact that Bruce Bowen, a renowned flopper, who switched to Paul after halftime, keeps hitting the floor suddenly and I keep rewarding him with fouls.

So, since on the first of those fouls, Chris made the shot, the Hornets would have been within 2 or 3 points, I feel good that the Hornets are now pushed to 7, which isn’t a huge swing, but those pesky Hornets keep trying to defend. But the longer this goes, the more upset and angry they are and now they’re playing scared, and the lead blossoms to 11. Fortunately, when you have two evenly matched teams, a 10 point swing really IS the game.

[EDIT: Fuck the refs, fuck the Spurs. Steal your home games any way you want. Bring it Monday, bitches. We'll see who the better team is. Believe that.]

Seriously, how money has Mo-Pete been this playoffs in general, and this series in particular? In the second half of the season, as his shot flagged a bit, he fell into Byron Scott’s doghouse, as most Hornets players not named Chris Paul or David West have. He’s a demanding coach who only accepts the best. With the acquisition of Bonzi Wells and Mike James, Mo seemed to be getting less and less time as those other guys played (although shortly thereafter the trade, James was relegated to the bench, and Julian Wright’s ascent began–to the same effect). The Playoffs, however, have changed Peterson’s fate.

Since B. Scott is a big proponent of going with the guys who are playing well, Mo-Pete has steadily got more and more time in the playoffs, and is almost always on the floor in crunch time. Always considered a good defender, Peterson has been outright vicious this series, locking down on Ginobili and aggressively rebounding (any one see that one late last night, when stuck in the corner with a Spur on his back, he just slammed the ball down and effectively dribbled it back into his hands with a mean growl on his face?). Moreover, the man has shot 54% from the field overall and 50% from long-range. So just when the Spurs think they have Peja solved, and are ready to double CP and DX–while Timmy suspiciously watches TC, lest the Crescent City Connection be put in place–Mo steps along the baseline and catches and shoots his way to 4-6 shooting from 3-point land in a crucial Game 5. He was an absolute run-killer, draining 3s every time the Spurs thought they could put some points together and helping the Hornets build their lead bigger and bigger.

We, like most other bloggers, have focused on CP and DX, and often secondarily on Peja and TC (ticktock’s crush aside), and have even tried to give shout outs to Ju-Ju, Bonzi, and the role-players that contribute in big ways unexpectedly and impressively. Yet Mo is no role player. He’s a starter. And as one co-blogger posited, seriously, how many teams have a better 5th player on their line-up? I mean this as no disrespect to Mo by calling him a 5th player, but rather try to point out how quality he is in a league where salary cap, free agency, and ego often prevent a massive collection of talent. But the Bees got it. In spades.

And my man Morris is one of the big reasons this team has a legitimate chance to make a championship team this year. So keep it up Mo!

Coach Scott: With the regular season over, I imagine that you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

Chris Paul: You could say that.

Coach Scott: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he’s expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Chris Paul?

Chris Paul: No.

Coach Scott: Why not?

Chris Paul: ‘Cause I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of the game.

Coach Scott: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know, you can’t explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there’s something missing from the game. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there. Like a splinter in your mind–driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?

Chris Paul: The Playoffs?

Coach Scott: Do you want to know what they are?

Chris Paul: [nods his head]

Coach Scott: The Playoffs are everywhere, they are all around us thanks to David Stern. Even now, in this very room (although for the love of Zion do not watch the Celtics-Cavs series– it’s just plain ugly). Once you understand the NBA Playoffs you will see them when you look out your window, or when you open a newspaper. You will feel them when you have your days off or when you fall asleep or when you pay your considerable taxes. They are the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Chris Paul: What truth?

Coach Scott: That experience does not matter, Chris Paul. They would have you believe that like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch–until, of course, you have been there. [long pause, sighs] Unfortunately, no one can be told what the NBA Playoffs are. You have to see them for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. [In his left hand, Coach Scott shows a blue pill]

Chris Paul: [Watches Coach Scott patiently]

Coach Scott: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. [a red pill is shown in his other hand] You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Chris Paul: [Long pause; Chris Paul begins to reach for the red pill]

Coach Scott: Remember–all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.

Chris Paul: [Chris Paul takes the red pill and swallows it with a glass of water]

Coach Scott: You have to let it all go, Chris Paul. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.

Chris Paul: What will happen to me?

Coach Scott: You are The One, Chris Paul. You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you.

Chris Paul: But I’m not the one with “Chosen One” tattooed on my back.

Coach Scott: That is irrelevant. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our destiny. I believe this postseason holds, for each and every one of your teammates, the very meaning of our lives. This is a war and we are soldiers. What if by Tuesday we beat the Spurs? And the Lakers after that? What if then we take out the scabs from the Eastern Conference and that war is over and we and we alone were NBA Champions? Isn’t that worth fighting for? Isn’t that worth dying for?

Chris Paul: Dying?

Coach Scott: You are The One, Chris Paul.

Chris Paul: NBA Champions?

Coach Scott: That’s right. This very season.

Chris Paul: Whoa. [Pauses] Are you saying I can choose whether we win or lose?

Coach Scott: No. You’ve already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.

Chris Paul: No. I can’t do that. I won’t.

Coach Scott: Well, you have to.

Chris Paul: Why?

Coach Scott: Because you’re The One.

This is my post for Chris Paul Blog Day (check out my co-blogger, ticktock’s, post here). To read the roundup of the rest, check out At the Hive.

This year, we haven’t just watched a young player get good. We haven’t just watched a good player get great. We’ve witnessed the birth of a legend. It’ not just his averaging 20/10/2.7, something no one’s ever done. It’s not just his starting his playoff career averaging 30/10/3.5, something no one’s ever done. It’s how he does it.

It’s the fire in his eyes, the quick anger he quickly tempers into crafty moves and adroit down-court rushes. It’s the fist pumped in the air under the thunder roar of 18,000 people as he wills his team to victory. And not just on the night he feels like playing. It’s time and time again. Night in and night out. He takes no games off, no plays off. He never surrenders. He’s the one pleading with his coach to stay in the game when he feels the game slipping away, he’s the one sacrificing his body for every point, yet he’s also the first one off the bench roaring in support of his teammates when they make a play. He’s someone about whom we’ll be telling stories to the next generation long after he’s walked away from the game.

Moreover, it’s what he does off the court as much as on. It’s his growing reputation around the league as someone who respects everyone around him. It’s an old school mentality in a new world. It’s the handshake to the opposing team’s arena crew, the high-fives to the people sitting courtside; it’s the smile on his face as he presents the game ball with a wide-eyed twelve-year-old.  And having met him and spoke to him, I know it’s not just conjecture.  He’s just as genuine with a random fan as he is with is own friends.

And at the end of the day, it’s that heart that lifts him. That lifts a city. That prove everyone who doubted wrong.  There are players in the league who will win scoring titles and other individual hardware, but not all of them have the heart to make everyone around them better and to be one with the game.   That takes someone special. It takes the heart of a champion.

It takes someone like Chris Paul.

Okay. So as ticktock has astutely pointed out, the critics say we’re going to lose. The faces on our tickets say otherwise.

In the regular season and playoffs the Hornets are 9-2 when CP is on the ticket face (game 1), 6-0 when D-West is on the ticket (game 2), 4-1 when Peja is on the ticket (game 5), although only 2-3 when Mo is on the ticket face (game 7).

What does this say?

It says we can expect to win games 1, 2, and 5. So if we steal ONE game in San Antonio, the series is ours. And as I’ve already gone on the record as saying, we’re going to fucking win if it is game 7 at home.

So there it is.

Consider me the rain on the parade. Consider me a hater in the lovefest that is Hornets-fandom. But our mission here at HornetsHype is to destroy all opposition to the perfect Hornets experience. Our mission is not yet complete. Although as Jim Eichenhofer at Hornets.com has pointed out, corporate sponsors are rolling in with the continued successes of the Hornets organization, one is conspicuously missing. It is a recent loss. At the beginning of the season it was there, but only like that sick relative who is just wasting away in a hospital, dying. And then, like a whisper in the night, it faded and was gone. And now, the New Orleans Arena no longer sells Abita Beer.

So I invoke one of the oldest of New Orleans’ traditions: the Jazz Funeral. Grab your instrument, put on your Sunday black best and march for a remembrance of an old and dear friend. Abita Beer.

Some would say this is a gripe better left for the after the season when the team has less to worry about. But let’s focus on of the image of New Orleans as a unique locale; this failure reflects on us all. We used to not only have Abita taps with four different brews at each Bacardi stand last year and early this year, with unique, full-flavored beer (any fans of Coors Light, Miller Light, Bud or Bud Light need not comment), but over the course of the year found these outlets limited to one on the 100 level and one on the 300 level. More than that, Pre-K we had a little Abita Brewpub in the Arena. It was awesome. Abita is awesome. It’s almost always stocked in our fridge and I’d bet it is in most New Orleanians’ fridges. And like many people, when I watch basketball, be it at home or at the arena, I enjoy a quality beer. A quality beer.

So bring back the Abita, New Orleans Arena. Be it trying to better represent Louisiana or just because you love beer. Bring it back because it’s the common sense approach to marketing. It’s a natural tie. Feature seasonal beers all-year round. It would be glorious.

Or at the very least, break out some Abita kegs at the Buzzfests.

[EDIT: no, this was not photoshopped. This happened in Treme. This morning. At dawn.  Unfortunately, the police broke it up.  It was sad.]

Okay. So there was a basketball game last night. Apparently the whole point of it was to determine that the Hornets will not win the series in 4 games, but either 5, 6, or 7. As we at Hornets Hype don’t feel that determination is all that important, we choose not to comment on this game, but check out the recaps at At The Hive or Hornets247 for that.

Rather, we decided to give you all a tangently-related sneak peak into the upcoming summer blockbuster, co-starring the Mavs’ own Josh Howard: Harold, Kumar, and Josh Howard Go to Popeye’s. Read on.

Harold: Josh, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?

Josh Howard: Dude, I don’t even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible chronic – next thing I know I’m being thrown out of a moving car. I’ve been trippin’ balls ever since.

Kumar: That’s crazy, dude. We’ve been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We’ve just been driving around looking for Popeye’s but we keep getting sidetracked.

Josh Howard: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget Popeye’s, let’s go get some reefer!

Harold: Huh?

Josh Howard: It’s a Bees Nest in here, bros. I keep seeing them everywhere.

[Harold and Kumar exchange looks]

Josh Howard: Let’s get some pot, now, and THEN go to Popeye’s. It’s not something I’m needing. But it’s the offseason. So I gotta get it NOW.

Kumar: No, Josh, you don’t understand. We’ve been craving spicy chicken all night.

Josh Howard: Yeah, I’ve been craving spicy chicken, too. If by spicy chicken you mean Ganja. Come on, dudes, it’s not like I have to have it. But it’s the offseason. At least that line works on Stern and Cuban.

Josh Howard: [singing] I love my Mary Jane!

Kumar: [pause] There’s a gas station. I’m gonna see if I can get some directions.

Josh Howard: You don’t need dir- gah! Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I’m losing my high.

[they park, pause]

Josh Howard: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry…

Kumar: Look, chill.

Harold: We’ll be right back, Josh.

[they exit the car]

Harold: Dude, what is the deal with Josh Howard? Why is he so eager to smoke?

Kumar: Dude, look who’s talking. [Stops] Whoa. I just got the weirdest sense of deja vu.

Harold: Maybe it’s because his team got crushed by New Orleans in the playoffs last year.

Kumar: Haven’t we done this all before?

Harold: I guess that kind of a beating would make me want to get high too.

Josh Howard: [leaning out of the passenger side car window] It’s the OFFSEASON guys!

Instant Hollywood gold. No word yet if Mark Cuban’s movie production company was involved or if Josh is planning on doing any further acting. Don’t look back for updates on the movie. But do watch the game on Sunday. It’s still the season.

Insert foot. Or see Scott go to the finals as both a player and a coach. Not content with his 32% shooting from the field, or his 29% 3-point percentage, Jerry Stackhouse decided to try and hit something with his mouth. He had this to say on his weekly radio show:

“I think it’s just about having personalities that mesh and I think Chris [Paul] is such a great guy, I think he’s been able to kind of deal with Byron Scott. I don’t think Byron Scott is the best coach. I don’t think he’s the best guy to deal with — you know what I’m saying? — from some things that I’ve heard from other players and just some dealings that I had with him earlier in the season.

“I was about ready to kick his ass — you know what I’m saying? He was sitting on the sideline and we just got into a little conversation or something and he was going to tell me, you know, ‘Talk to me when you get a ring.’ I was like, I told that fool, ‘If I played with Magic and Worthy and Kareem I’d have a ring, too. So, you know, he’s a sucker in my book, but that’s a whole other story.”

Really. And what does Stackhouse think he’d have accomplished even had the Mavs beaten the Heat the other year ago (which they didn’t). What has he ever done? And in this year’s playoffs, he averages as many turnovers and fouls a game as he does assists. And by the way, Stack, Byron–as a player–averaged 13.4 points a game in the playoffs, while shooting 48% from the field and 40% from long range. Those are the numbers you need to contribute to a championship team.

Enjoy your first round ouster, Jerry. Again.

Game one is behind us, but the rest of the series is still ahead of us. Watching the other games last night, ticktock and I tossed around how back and forth these things can be over seven games. Plenty of times a team goes up 2-0 at home, only to drop to 2-2 after their road trip. Imagine the peril of the game for at 2-1. You can be totally in control, up 3-1 with a win, or back where you started, all tied up, with a loss. So the Hornets need to make sure they get that far. (To 2-0). While someone at hornets247 astutely noted the other day, no game is a must win until you’re down to three victories for your opponent, this game may decide the series. With a team as good at home as Dallas is, it would be a disaster to go there 1-1 and expect to take one (or two) in an arena that we haven’t won in since 1999.

That said, both the Bees and the Mavs have plenty of good starters who can change the outcome of the game. But who makes the difference in this one might just be whoever comes off the bench and makes the biggest difference. It might have been Pargo’s defense on Terry in Game 1. Maybe it’ll be the same tonight. Or Bonzi or Ju-Ju with an offensive explosion or series of steals. Whoever it is, on either team, they’re going to have to adjust to how the refs call the game, and may be in to cover for other guys in foul trouble. They’re going to need to produce on both ends of the floor and weather runs by the other team.

I think it’s the Hornets bench that is more likely to come out hot. I don’t think the Mavs are going to “choke” like some fear, but rather that they’ll be outplayed by the Hornets. Other than Terry, I’m not sure that bench has the firepower to keep up with a team that has been hot on both ends of the floor this year. It’s not hubris, it’s not a prediction or a promise. Just my observation based on seeing eighty-some games this season.

For the second road game in a row, I have downloaded pictures in preparation of photoshopping CP stealing an opposing player’s soul, to illustrate the phrase ticktock likes to colloquially throw around from time to time. And for the second game in a row, the opposing team has not only beaten the Bees, but the player whose photo I downloaded to be CP’s victim, has actually been our downfall (Artest, Kidd). Thus, no picture. Dammit.