Hornets Hype

In case you missed it, it was hilarious. Chris Paul, man… always says the right thing. And he’s so young. How lucky are the Hornets? No, seriously. How lucky? Interview also features D-West, Hilton Armstrong, Julian Wright, Rasual Butler, and Ryan Bowen goofing off in the first row, like they’ve never been on TV before.

I love the Hornets.

You disappoint me.

All that love for us two weeks ago… the features, the photos, the columns… and now? You have slain me with your betrayal, Adrian Wojanawawhatever. And, actually, at the same time provided a nice example for my 7th grade English class on how not to write a journalistic article. So hey, there’s that.

“Bryant shouldn’t have to wait anymore for MVP,” declares the title of the article.

No one needs historical context to make the case for Bryant this year. His season stands on its own. At 29, this isn’t a lifetime achievement award.

OK, so it’s not a lifetime achievement award. I’m glad we established that… before writing an entire article explaining how it is a lifetime achievement award. That’s called a contradiction. Not to mention the glaring grammatical error in the last sentence. So the award is 29, eh?

There isn’t a player in the league that I love more to talk with, that I love more to watch play, than Paul.

 

Yet, he will have to go No. 2 on my ballot. He hasn’t been first-team All-NBA. He still hasn’t played in the postseason.

‘Cause the MVP is a postseason award, and it’s also based on what you did last year. Who knew? You know, I was gonna dissect this some more, but I decided it wasn’t worth the time. Suffice to say it’s a poorly written article saying that CP3 hasn’t been in the league enough years to be MVP this year.

At least this piece of garbage column comes complete with a photo of Kobe Bryant looking like a fish. At least they gave me that.

I would give you a photo of what the CP3 for MVP t-shirt giveaway looks like, but that thing is so X-Large that if I put it back on, I’m not sure I’ll be able to find my way out of it again… I kid, I kid. That’s it on the left.

We were also (barely) able to score our Chris Paul bobbleheads. They passed out cards with “CP3 MVP” on one side and “GEAUX HORNETS” on the other. I thought they could have done a better job of coordinating that stuff via the PA announcer, but whatever. The fans more or less did all right with it. Chris Paul’s bobblehead doesn’t really look like Chris Paul, but it does have one yellow bracelet and one white. Cute! Just like the real Chris Paul.

As for the game, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

Ric Flair was there to personally do the “WHOO!” Hornets fell behind early, then blasted their way through the 2nd quarter to take the lead. Hornets and Warriors exchanged runs throughout the second half. CP3 had a triple double on national TV, and really, though it was a rather quiet game for him (SEE? HOW SPOILED ARE WE??? You want to trade your guy’s night for our guy’s quiet 16 pts, 13 ast, 10 reb, and 5 steals? Oh, too bad. You can’t have him), might have just sealed up the MVP right there. Jannero Pargo took over the 2nd quarter and scored 15 points off the bench. David West started out limited but finished strong. Bonzi Wells lounged on the bench and drank Red Bull, while still managing to be great in that strange Bonzi way. Peja was Peja. Hornets rolled 108-96, picking up win #54 and a 2 game cushion for the #1 seed in the West.

Notes on ABC’s coverage:

We DVRed this game just because we had to see for ourselves whether any shitlistings would be imminent. But it’s okay, ABC’s safe. It was probably some of the nicest coverage the Hornets have had recently. (And you think by “nicest,” I mean they talked about us the most. No. I don’t think people who live in other cities truly understand the number of ill-informed cheap shots taken at the city of New Orleans and the team during regular coverage of these games. It’s still happening, and it’s really annoying. So I really do mean “nicest” as in, they were nice.)

• I guess, cool as the Hornets are, they aren’t as cool as Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns, because we never get the parking garage shot of them walking past their expensive black cars into the arena. You know you’ve made it when you get a parking garage shot.
• At the beginning of the game, they did a close-up on Chris Paul stretching, and he started coughing and had to get up because the smoke was in his face.
• There was a massive MVP chant for Chris Paul in the 4th quarter, but they went to commercial break.
• Announcers loved Tyson, called D-West “well, I hesitate to say this, but one of the great players in this league,” and said Peja was back in old-school form.
• ABC agreed with us on the quality of the officiating.
• Pargo got interviewed at halftime. I don’t think they knew where Pargo came from.
• We got to go inside the locker room and hear both coaches discussing their game plan for the second half. Nelson: “We aren’t sticking to the plan. We have to get back to the plan.” What was the Warriors’ plan? … Jacking up threes. No, I’m not kidding. That was it. Now, if you look back to the home game the Hornets lost to the Warriors, you can see why that was the whole plan. But still. That’s it, guys? That’s all ya got? Too bad Golden State was 3 for 29. I don’t know, at some point, I’d have been thinking about… maybe… changing the plan.
• Chris Paul is a bossy little mofo on those Wired segments, isn’t he? “Hey, Coach, please, I gotta play, I swear I’ll take myself out if I need to come out, please!… Coach, D-West and Peja! Why’re they on the bench?” Haha!
• Halftime feature on David West, plus earlier we also got footage of CP’s high school game where he scored 61 points in honor of his grandfather. Then we had Peja’s Fave Five three point shooters. I said, “Is he allowed to say himself?” Wonder no more, because Peja’s Fave Five were Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Ray Allen, Dirk Nowitzki, and indeed, himself. LOL. Guess so.
• Said they definitely think there’ll be a home advantage come playoff time. Said the city of New Orleans has always brought it for the Saints, and they have no doubt they’ll bring it for the Hornets, because they know how to bring the party.

HypeMeter: ABC figures, the Hornets haven’t dropped out of #1 when everyone thought they would, so why not? Yes! You know you want to throw in with us. Hornets, Hornets, Hornets! We can’t wait to see what happens next, either.

CrowdWatch: 17,809, another sellout, and if it’s good enough for ABC, it’s good enough for me.

Not that we haven’t had our own version for months, but at the Golden State game on Sunday, everyone at the arena is going to get a CP MVP shirt! And the game’s nationally televised on ABC.

That place is going to look amazing.

And our Hornets are finally back on Friday.

BEST. WEEKEND. EVER.

….

Oh, and by the way, people keep telling me how awesome it was at the airport last night. Melvin Ely, Jannero Pargo, AND Chris Paul getting out and taking pics and signing autographs? I almost died this morning when I saw what we missed. I swear I will go every single time for the rest of the season. Believe me, I so wanted to go. And I get up at 5:30 AM every day of the week. It took an official evaluation BY THE STATE OF LOUISIANA at work today to keep me from going last night. Otherwise, to hell with 5 AM, I’d have been so there.

Damn you, State of Louisiana. Just kidding.

Another day, another city. And, as the Hornets board the plane for the next game on the road trip, another bunch of articles saying basically what Hornets fans knew about Chris Paul all along, which is, essentially, “Wow.” They love him in Canada, plus a couple of other cities too.

Paul takes throne from Nash National Post.

No contest in MVP race: Give the hardware to Paul Chicago Daily Herald.

Right now, Paul is my MVP pick Charlotte Observer. Oh hey, y’all, this is an actual vote.

This was a really nice Mo Pete story from a Toronto fan.

And, as an extra special bonus, the Globe and Mail raves about D West and thinks Chris Paul is god.

If you’re an MVP candidate, maybe… maybe… articles about your game last night should… maybe… not lead off like this.

Kobe Bryant abandoned his one-man show, got his teammates involved and the Los Angeles Lakers prevailed in a shooting contest.

I’m just throwing that out there. Do with it what you will.

On the other hand, Kobe did end up with 26 points and 13 assists. In other news, CP3 went 20-16 (routine for him) and the Hornets held on to beat the Raptors 118-111 and grab win #50. Of course, Chris Paul played 12 minutes less…

What? I said I was just going to put it out there.

HypeMeter: They love us, they really do. 

Or is that the sweet, sweet sound of NBATV going off on the Hornets? I mean, this is NBATV. They hate on us on a regular basis. Obviously, it has to be taken with a grain of salt because they are covering our team. But they started with the Hornets as opposed to the Celtics. And 4 minutes later, they’re still going. (Oh, but David West can’t create his own shot? Meh… don’t know about that.)

“Give us your CP3 for MVP argument– 15 seconds!” Aaaand I love it.

Here, J.A. Adande makes the stunningly illogical argument that “since Kobe has his Lakers at the top of the Western Conference, he deserves the MVP.” No mention of Chris Paul in the entire thing. I’m most irate because, well, read it. Everything he says about Kobe today is the exact same argument that could have been made for Chris Paul on Thursday. You could substitute their names. But he didn’t wanna write one about Chris Paul, did he?

Someone asked why the omission of Chris Paul in his chat this afternoon, and he responded that “the Lakers were in first place when he wrote the article.”

Only stunningly illogical because it was the Hornets who were in first place as recently as 20 hours ago. I bet he’s all annoyed he had to wait until the Lakers had a game in hand on the Hornets to post that garbage. Shit, who hasn’t been in first place in the Western Conference this week? This is what I’m saying.

It’s like, if you want to say you love Kobe, it’s your opinion. But don’t go giving reasons that apply equally as well to another player. That’s not an argument. That’s a biased opinion.

Like, see me? I have a biased opinion. But I’m not pretending not to.

I feel dirty even linking to this article.

HypeMeter: We wouldn’t touch this article with a 39 1/2 foot pole.

This is why ESPN.com will never have a chance at removal from the Shitlist. They have a scary ability to swing from bandwagon to bandwagon in a matter of days. Pure media schizophrenia, that is.

To wit,

The Weekend Dime. In which Marc Stein ranked “the top five story lines of the NBA season.” What were they?

1) Blockbuster trades (OK, fine, that one won’t kill me)

2) Dominance of the Western Conference (’cause this has never happened before)

3) Boston Celtics (I’m OK with this one)

4) Rockets streak (which, while impressive, has been a story line of the last one month, and the last time I checked, one month was not the season… FAIL)

5) Kobe Vs. LeBron. (NO. NO. NO. Absurd.)

For several reasons, the greatest of which is that Kobe vs. LeBron is basically a self-perpetuating delusion foisted upon us by the very media members who then go and write articles about how big a story the story they made up is. Anyone notice how about two weeks ago, it was a race between four guys– Kobe, LeBron, KG, and Chris Paul? And then… what? It was like all the big media guys got together and decided it was Kobe and LeBron. Did anything change to drop the other two out, like, oh I don’t know, actual statistics or perhaps these real things called games that are going on all the time? No. It was like the media gave its blessing and we were all supposed to fall in line, frothing at the mouth over the “battle.” The problem is, it feels like a manufactured battle. That’s because it is.

Then, in the sidebar, we get a picture of Chris Paul and this lovely bit of snark.

How big has this NBA season been? So large that Chris Paul, his can-do Hornets and the NBA All-Star Game still can’t get New Orleans into Stein’s top five stories of the season.

I don’t know, it seems like SINCE HE WROTE THE TOP 5, he could have put whatever he wanted in there. Don’t go acting like it’s the Hornets’ fault for not making your dubious top five. You could have made it less dubious had you chosen to.

Well. The problem with everyone getting together and deciding the Hornets are out?

Somebody forgot to tell Chris Paul.

No, really. That game last night? Incredible. CP3’s stats over the last several games? Incredible. And so this week we get this spurt of articles that are like, “Wait. Wait. Wait. Chris Paul is also making a case.” Like he hasn’t been all along. Like anything he’s done has changed. Today on ESPN, for example, Chris Broussard makes a case for Chris Paul.

Whatev, ESPN and co. We don’t need your blessing for our MVP candidate.

You want to say he’s back in? Fine. But remember, you were the ones to take him out.

We were the ones who knew it was him all along.