Hornets Hype

Free hats. Disclaimer: This picture was not supposed to look so naked. There's a strap. Dammit.

We checked out the official Hornets draft party last night down at Gordon Biersch, as some of you who might have been following my Twitter feed already knew. Living in New Orleans we usually try to make it out to as many of the Hornets events as we can.

It was about an hour before the draft when I hopped into a space at the bar and started to follow the rumors that were going down on Twitter, which was creaking along there and might have actually died at one scary point due to Michael Jackson’s death (RIP). Everyone was running with the idea that Phoenix might be trading Amare Stoudemire to Golden State or Ben Wallace to New Orleans for Tyson Chandler or possibly both. Meanwhile an older gentleman at the bar was buying me shots of Jager and trying to convince me that I did not, in fact, want to watch the draft at all– I wanted to go across the street to Harrahs and play the slots.

I was pretty sure I wanted to watch the draft, however, so I stayed, and chatted with some nice people I’d been Twittering back and forth with (I’m not sure Twittering is the verb, but I really hate to say Tweeting, so I’m going to declare that, on this blog at least, I was Twittering.) After a while mW got there. Oh, in fact here we are (The below video is approximately 12 seconds of me yelling because I can’t hear myself. I actually had no idea if you could hear me at all until I just watched it. Um, you can. Because I’m yelling.):

Hornets draft party! on 12seconds.tv

Now, for those of you looking for all the salacious celebrity pics, I forgot my camera and was following the draft on my laptop, which I had out on the bar. I also realized that I’d picked a spot close to one Hornets table, but the players were actually at a different table on the opposite side of the room. So not only did we not want to lose our spot, which I had staked out 2 hours prior, but there were about a hundred people packed into the approximately 30 foot space between us and CP. I was more concerned about melting before we even got as far as the #13 pick than stalking Hornets players. Therefore I had to acquire all these pics the good old-fashioned blogger way: uncredited, from Getty Images. But I will assure you that Chris Paul and Julian Wright were there. I could hear their voices, even if I couldn’t see them. (If it had been Tyson Chandler, I probably could have seen him over the crowd from my barstool, but we are talking about CP here.) The Hornets ran some interactive fan contests, and it seemed like everyone packed into that itty bitty area had fun.

CP is interviewed outside by some local stations, ticktock6 realizes in terror that this is the same CST mic that was stuck in her face into which she has NO. EARTHLY. IDEA. what she rambled on about. Oh help.

I have to admit I was unenthusiastic about #21 pick Darren Collison. I know next to nothing about him. Well, I know next to nothing about college ball in general, so that’s hardly a surprise. But I really thought we should’ve take DeJuan Blair, who ended up falling into the second round presumably because teams were scared off by his knee surgeries. I am fairly sure I managed to control these opinions when some cameramen came up and shined a light on me and asked me what I thought. I am also fairly sure I talked for a while. I am also fairly sure the two Jager shots had a significant effect on the fact that I kinda forgot about this whole experience till the above picture of Chris Paul and the CST mike jogged my memory and I realized that’s who I talked to. So, if you’re watching whatever draft montage they put together and air as a pregame or halftime feature next fall, and the girl wearing turquoise and (I think, oh lord) a Hornets draft cap backwards comes on and talks a mile a minute, that is me. CST, feel free to not use this footage. Anyhow, I feel a lot better about the Collison pick today, having checked out At the Hive’s post regarding his stats (they’re right up there or better than some lottery PGs). He was a 4 year college kid and didn’t have the hype of some of the others, but I think we’ll all remember we have a guy named David West who was in a similar situation when we drafted him and turned out all right.

I should make a note here that by the time we left the party I’d managed to collect Hornets beads, a turquoise T-shirt (I already have this particular one, and it’s XL… we may have 1 or 2 up for grabs), and the aforementioned Hornets draft cap, which was given to me by @hornetsdotcom. I have been asked a lot of times around town where I got such and such magnet or sticker or whatever, and the answer is you should try to make it to at least one official watch party a season, because they give out massive amounts of Hornets shwag. This particular party, however, should probably have been at a larger venue, because the place was packed wall to wall from when the draft started through when Chris Paul left. But overall, the staff at GB is highly awesome and they’ve hosted some solid Hornets events.

This nice man drew CP's picture

There were other fun moments about the draft, like the Minnesota Timberwolves Mad Point Guard Rampage of 2009, but the other significant moment for the Hornets didn’t happen until we were already home. We watched Blair finally go to San Antonio (where he’ll probably be perversely good, causing us to hate San Antonio more than we already do), and LSU product Marcus Thornton go to Miami at 43. Then a couple of minutes later, David Stern’s apprentice minion (I didn’t know that Stern doesn’t hang around to do the second round, funny!) came to the podium again. As soon as he said, “The Miami Heat convey the rights to the #43 pick Marcus Thornton…” I just had a feeling it was us. And sure enough, it was! So the Hornets ended up with two picks after all. (From what I’ve read today, Thornton was always on our board, and as soon as he didn’t get picked in the first round, the Hornets got on the phones.)

Whew. Crazy end to a crazy week in the NBA. But you know what? We got through another big trade week without selling low on Tyson Chandler, who, I have been vehemently arguing to anyone who will listen, deserves a chance to prove he can rebound from his injury before we melodramatically rant and rave about how he’s “NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AGAIN!” We turned a lone low #21 pick in a junky draft into two guys who can hopefully fill roles on the roster and allow CP to get some rest and the Hornets to shop Antonio Daniels’ expiring contract with no worries. We drafted safe, 4-year player types. The Hornets’ front office sneakily drafted a 2nd rounder who, if he makes the team, will appeal to local fans and create buzz. Sometimes I am concerned that they don’t “get” this market, so that was a good thing to see. And maybe I’m being a girl here, but it kinda made me all warm and fuzzy to see the team give the local kid a chance to play for his hometown team.

About the t-shirt. I’d give it to a commenter who wears an XL, but I don’t know…. I think the Hype Cat has an interest in it…

Hype Cat's New Hornets T-Shirt

Here are things you will hear: “That’s good Playoff basketball.”  Or “a good hard Playoff foul.”  Perhaps “they tend to let them play in the Playoffs.”  Bullshit.  Bullshit.  And…..bullshit.  Maybe I’m crazy, but I’ve never read the Playoff Rulebook.  I guess it’s different than the one they use in the regular season.  Oh wait, it’s not.  Well then, listen closely.  A foul is a foul is a foul.  Yet there is a long-standing Myth that teams like the Celtics, Rockets, Cavs, or surprisingly, and at least for this year, the Nuggets, play good defense and this is proven in the Playoffs.  But if you’re slapping elbows and hands to get steals, making body contact though your hands are clean, or if you in any way impede the offensive player’s motion when you’re not set, it’s a foul.  Period.

The concept that refs should “just let them play” in the Playoffs is insane.  Listen, like anything involving logic, which is pretty much everything, you can isolate the truth through variables.  Imagine someone trying to convince you that their team could field six players against your team’s five because it’s the Playoffs and they’re just willing to take that extra step to win.  It would be absurd.  Okay, but why?  Why is it absurd?  Well, first of all, it violates the rules.  Second, it gives the other team an unfair advantage.  Third, it’s pretty fucking obvious.  Okay.  Well, then, what about if you let a defensive player hack an offensive player?  That’s against the rules, gives the defensive player an unfair advantage, and generally is pretty fucking obvious.  Ultimately, the result is no different than fielding an extra player.  Is one more obvious than the other?  Sure.  But is one more excusable than the other?  No. Both are ILLEGAL.

The general belief that the Playoffs should be treated this way is bad enough.  But what really aggravates the situation is that some teams, who are perceived as good defensive teams, are less likely to be called for fouls, even if they commit them, because it is assumed that they are just playing good defense, and they get the benefit of the doubt.  But the fallacy of this logic is that they very well may be perceived to be good defenders because they’ve gotten away with it in the past.  It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Also, when you call plays different in the Playoffs, then all of sudden, players who have gotten used to a certain level of contact have no idea what they can or cannot do on the floor.  This freezes them, and makes them appear to be slow, indecisive, or just poor defenders.  Yet, this is something attributable to poor officiating more than personal deficiencies.

Even worse, this kind of game calling sets the scene for chaos.  Or worse, for someone to get hurt.  Because as we’ve seen with, significantly this year, the Nuggets, when you let a team manhandle the other, two things happen.  One, the other team gets frustrated, and tends to commit harder fouls, which only exacerbates things.  (I know, it’s no excuse, but to psychologically frustrate one team to the glee of the other is in itself an unfair advantage, especially in basketball, the most psychological of sports.)  But beyond that, the team creating the contact in the first place, once not getting whistled for what is ostensibly illegal contact, tends to keep creating harder and harder contact, because when you’re not called for a foul, the tendency is to try and see how far you can push things, to see what you can get away with.  So these teams keep fouling harder and harder, until all of a sudden flagrants and techs are flying, bodies are flying, people are getting hurt, and the refs have lost all semblance of control.  It’s ridiculous.

Yet, the NBA and their TV mouthpieces just pretend it’s so hard, and the Fates forbid anyone but Jeff Van Gundy criticize the refs (and even for that, Stern once again, took an on camera jab at JVG; Stern is like the Borg: resistance to him is futile).  Sure, basketball happens fast live.  No doubt.  It is hard to call.  But it can be better.  Don’t be fooled.  And the changes aren’t that complex.  1. Call it the same way over the course of the regular season and the Playoffs.  2. Encourage refs to watch each others’ games and try to establish consistent calls from ref to ref.  3. Standardize when you use replay; as it is, sometimes they use it and sometimes they don’t, and it’s insane how some obvious calls are missed because refs would rather huddle for 60 seconds and talk it over to get it wrong rather than take 30 seconds to look at the screen right off the court to get it right.  That the NBA doesn’t do these things doesn’t just do a disservice to the players and the fans, but the game itself.

So when people tell you about “Playoff Basketball,” tell them to fuck off.  Hitting shots with a guy in your face is Playoff Basketball.  Trying to fight through dudes hacking you?  That’s bullshit.  We all deserve better.

The Hype has been quiet lately.  Sorry.  But the grind of the 82-game season and the subsequent Playoffs emotional rollercoaster doesn’t just take its toll on the players, but sometimes those that follow it.  I wish I was a professional journalist, someone who did this for a living, who had all day to scour media sources for information, to talk to players and coaches, and, finally, to write.  But I don’t.  I don’t get paid for this.  I have another job, and it takes a lot out of you to work long hours and then spend almost all your free time on the Hornets.  Don’t get me wrong, I love basketball, I love the Hornets, but the Hype too needs a break.

Never fear though, ticktock6 and I have been watching the other games on and off, and with a much more objective eye, we have plenty of observations we’d like to share in the coming days and weeks, especially, as we’re one of the few sites out there accountable to no one.  We say what we say because we believe at the end of the day that it’s true.  Even if no one else will say it.  Like, for example, that Lebron IS overrated, or that the officiating is broken on a universal level but IS fixable.  Also, we love to give you all a forum to talk about those things.

So there you go.  Two sneak peaks.  More to come.  Stay tuned.

Take your pick.  When it comes to the New Orleans Hornets, almost every criticism has been leveled at our team this year.  They don’t score, they don’t play defense, they don’t rebound, they have no bench, they shoot 3s too much, no rotation on D, no ball movement on O, etc.  So what changed from a year ago, the #2 seed, and being one game from the Western Conference finals?

No one knows.  But I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do.  I’m not going to pull stats.  Plenty of blogs do that.  Plus, after a year of comparisons, I’m not convinced the answer can be found in numbers.  Instead, I”m going to work through a logical progression of what has changed.

First of all, and perhaps most understatedly, we lost assistant coach Darrell Walker to Detroit.  Yet one more thing Dumars fucked up for us.  The strange thing is, we didn’t replace him.  Was that a cost saving move?  I have to think the loss is significant, but I don’t have enough of an in to know what.  Any comments on that are welcome.

With that out of the way, let me say that one of the biggest problems I’ve noticed with the Hornets this year is the propensity to give up large runs.  14-0 here, 22-5 there.  They’re brutal.  Especially when you consider the 16-0 run we gave up in the second quarter of a fifteen point loss pretty much explains the loss itself.  Think about it, that blowout loss was really a tie-game with one bad stretch.  So why does it happen?  Ticktock6 said to me the other day that she thought we had much better offensive ball movement last year.  I think she’s right.  So what changed?  Our roster is almost the same.  Most of the coaches are the same.  Shouldn’t our flow on both ends of the floor be the same?  Well, here’s the breakdown of the difference, personnel-wise:

• Losses: Jannero Pargo, Bonzi Wells, Chris Anderson, Mike James
• Additions: Devin Brown, James Posey, Sean Marks, Antonio Daniels

You’ll note these are all bench players, despite Poseys significant minutes, but Bonzi got plenty of minutes last year, too.  So how does that make our team worse, when the starters, who get most of the minutes are all still here?  The only difference is that Rasual Butler is starting for Morris Peterson.  Ironically, Butler, who was relegated to the end of the bench last year, has not only usurped Peterson’s spot, but banished Mo to the end of the bench, as well.

People like to turn to stats.  They say Butler gets more blocks, plays better defense, and otherwise is similar statistically, so it’s a no brainer they say.  He’s legitimately kept the starting spot.  But if he’s the only difference, logic dictates that there is a difference caused by him.  Whether it’s not knowing where everyone else is on the floor, a different level of trust that’s there, or his comparative knowledge of the game, I don’t know.  But I can only come to one conclusion: Morris Peterson was a better starter last year than Rasual Butler is now.  No doubt Rasual is playing well, but I still love Butler as the first guy off the bench, like Bonzi would have done for Mo last year.  Peterson earned his minutes, and has Ws to show for it.  Butler, despite his several dramatic game-winning shots this year, I’m not convinced makes us better.

Now the bench players above.  All kinds of bloggers have run stats saying Daniels is more efficient than Pargo.  I don’t believe it.  Take your stats and shove them.  Pargo was crazy.  Good crazy.  The man created chaos in the same way that Paul does, and that was a good thing.  I earlier called this the Chaos Effect.  It’s impossible to defend against, because there is no plan, just intuition.  Byron, however, doesn’t like that.  Whatever you called, it though, Pargo tore through defenses even when he wasn’t making shots, and was a constant threat to score off the bench.  That’s something we’re lacking this year.  Posey may yet prove his worth in the playoffs, but so far, I can’t say he’s won many more games for us than Bonzi.  Sadly Bonzi wanted big money, and didn’t get it.  People laugh at him because he ended up playing in China for peanuts, but he dominated there, and clearly still deserves to be in the League.  Wells was a beast once we started playing him, and I’ll always appreciate the contributions he made to our 2007-08 team.

That brings us to Anderson for Marks.  Okay, Birdman didn’t play much last year, and I like Marks, but can anyone say we didn’t make a horrible move by letting him go? And Devin Brown?  I like his hustle.  But the fact that he plays over a former starter, when the man has never had the talent to consistently start in this League is crazy.  Oh, and one other thing.  A key part of our stretch run last year was Julian Wright, who this year, barely plays because Byron is too stubborn to give him the minutes to learn how to be a better player.  Huge mistake.

So yes, we are a worse team than last year.  But here’s the funny thing.  The ingredients are all still there.  Insert Mo back into the starting line-up, and you have the same five starters from last year.  Then, you roll out the back-up line-up of Daniels, Butler, Wright, Posey, and [insert big here].  It was the athletic mix of Wright, Bonzi, and Pargo that kept opposing teams off balance last year, and that was able to lock down effectively on defense.  I don’t see how this line-up can’t do both those things.  Instead, we’ll probably continue to see Butler start, with Devin Brown, Posey, and [insert big here] coming off the bench with Daniels, while Mo and Julian sit and wonder if there are teams out there they could actually be playing for.

If asked, I’d say, yes, I believe Byron has what it takes to be a championship coach when it comes to Xs and Os.  But if he can’t figure out who his best players are, then maybe he needs to step away from the game to gain some perspective, and we need a coach who can recognize talent.  After watching every Hornets game in the last two years in some way, shape, or form, as well as various games from around the League, I feel like I’m a pretty good judge of what we have.  We can still win this.  And by “this” I mean everything.   But to start with, we need to take two in Nola and then make this Round 1 series start fresh, before going on to win in 6 or 7.  But if the Hornets don’t do that, Byron should be looking over his shoulder; and, Bower, if he’s smart, should be the guy over that shoulder.

I’m not speaking quietly.  I’m flat out saying it.  If the Hornets don’t win this series, they need a new coach.  So please, Byron, show the world the Hornets we don’t need that.  I want to believe.

Undoubtedly, the Hornets look to be headed in the wrong direction, losing 4 out of their last 5 and looking unimpressive in their one win in that stretch.  Moreover, other than what might look like an anomalous win against the Spurs, their last set of wins before that five game stretch? Victories against the Clippers, Kings, Grizzlies, Warriors, T-Wolves, Bucks, Wizards, and Thunder; while in that same time, having lost to the Knicks, Nuggets, Rockets, Bulls, and Hawks.  Not the championship-caliber resume we’ve come to expect from this team, but to be fair, they’ve played most of those games without Peja and Tyson, and several without Posey.  Which is the real team?  The one that we’ve seen on the floor, or the one in our mind’s eye?  We’ll find out starting April 18th.  But I know one thing, they can win tomorrow.

A bittersweet season of ugly victories and Pyrrhic losses, where the rare times we’ve fielded all our starters we’re somewhere in the .667 win percentage, which would put us right behind the Lakers in the standing, but as things stand, we’re desperately clinging onto the sixth seed.  That said, we can still finish anywhere between fourth and eighth.  Significantly, we’ve beaten the Lakers, Spurs, Nuggets, Rockets, Cavs, Magic, Heat, and just about every other team that is expected to contend, other than the Celtics and Hawks.  We know the Hornets can beat the best, but can they do it in a best of seven series?  I think so.  But we need to be more consistent.

The bottom line is, as much heat as Byron is taking right now, I think it comes down to execution. Byron’s gameplan is set and if guys hit shots and rebound, this team can beat anyone.  I said before Friday’s game that I believed the Hornets could run the table to close the season.  I was wrong.  But I think this team will defend home court.  And here’s the stat that militates in their favor: Tyson is on the final game ticket face.  Here are the stats that no one else talks about: the Hornets’ home record, by ticket face star:

• David West: .875 (7-1)
• Tyson Chandler: .857 (6-1)
• Chris Paul: .667 (6-3)
• Byron Scott: .625 (5-3)
• Peja Stojakovic: .375 (3-5)

Considering that David’s ticket face just lost its first game in two years, I wouldn’t want anyone else’s face on this ticket for the Dallas Mavericks game.  Think this is a “fictional” stat?  Not in pro sports, where players are notoriously superstitious.  Consider this, the worst record of any ticket face last year, and the only one with a losing record, Mo Pete (.400, 2-3), was also, coincidentally, on the Game 7 ticket versus San Antonio.  We all know how that turned out.  And Mo Pete is the only one to appear on last year’s tickets not to appear on this years.  I doubt that is a coincidence.

So, maybe, just maybe, this ticket somehow augurs some cosmic sense of causality, and even if it doesn’t decide the fate of our team per se, it might have a knowing read of the preordained outcome of the game and resultant the Western Conference standings.  Or not.  As you can see from the above, Tyson’s mere presence doesn’t guarantee a win, but it puts the odds in our favor.  Believe it.

A huge story in the NBA this year is the international effect on the game.  Big free agents going overseas, us bringing back the best of those countries, creating a unique state of flux in international talent.  Although USA has again come to dominate the FIBA scene, there is an unprecedented international appeal for the sport, and even multinational blogging (visit our links to Chinese and German Hornets sites on the right under “All Hornets International,” and let us know if you’re aware of any more).  But no international story has been bigger than China.

First of all, there was the Olympics, which was a smashing success.  China proved to be a great venue, the world showed it could field a lot of talent, and it was a lot of fun to watch a variety of teams, not just the U.S.  Also, there was the outcry about how Chinese voters influenced the All-Star starting line-ups; but, when you leave it to democracy, you have to accept how the people vote.  I just love how excited another country is about the NBA, which, in the end, will only be good for basketball.  Lastly, there was the interesting story of ex-Hornet, Bonzi Wells, going to Shanxi Zhongyu, averaging 34 points a game, hitting 50 and 40 points routinely, pulling down over 10 boards usually, and being nicknamed “His Majesty.”  Great stuff.

And what else?  Oh yeah, China loves HornetsHype.com.  That’s right.  China wants to know more about Rasual “Phoenix” Butler.  China wants to know why Chris Paul should be MVP.  If you don’t believe me, check out these links:

• http://bbs.hoopchina.com/563864.html
• http://bbs.hoopchina.com/567096.html

There it is.  Yao may be huge in China. So is Yi.  But the most populous country in the world is hungry for Hornets news.  Believe it.  Welcome to the Hype, China, we love your interest in the NBA.  It’s faaaaAAAAaaantastic!

This is a public service announcement for the national basketball media. You are allowed to talk about Rasual Butler. No, seriously. I officially give you permission.

I’ve been mulling over this post in my mind for some time, thinking, “Damn, we should really do a post on the resurgence of ‘Sual this year,” but the moment it leapt to the forefront of our priority list was when I was watching the NBA on TNT last week. I’ve already ranted a bit on Charles Barkley’s rather uninformed comments about the team, but what really got me was how dismissive he was of Butler. Actually, he didn’t even seem to know that he was starting for the Hornets. And never mind the disparaging snarky comments I’ve heard from several different announcing teams, “Well, I guess you have to wonder with the Hornets how far you’re going to get when you have Rasual Butler starting, ho ho ho.”

OK, freeze. Rewind.

Last season around this time was when Byron Scott finally gave up on Butler. Hornets fans breathed a sigh of relief. Finally we could stop cringing as #45 launched up brick after brick. It was almost inexplicable, how a player’s shot could so thoroughly desert him. It was like Devin Brown in November/December of this season, but worse. (If you want a full perspective on how bad I am talking about, at one point Brown was shooting 15% from three. So we are talking bad.) Butler didn’t even suit up for the playoffs. He only played in 51 games, for an average of 17 minutes per game, most of those minutes in the beginning of the season before it became apparent how brutally awful of a year he was having. He averaged 4.9 points per game over the course of his truncated season. Add an offseason gun arrest into the mix, and Hornets fans were left wondering if there was a way to trade a guy who had zero value and made $3.6 million.

OK, stop. Fast forward.

In 2008-09 the man Hornets fans have begun to refer to as “The Phoenix” is starting for the Hornets. (Helpful hint to the national media, who seem to be having trouble locating him: He is the dude out in the corner who is not Chris Paul, David West, Tyson Chandler, or Peja Stojakovic.) He plays a career high 30 minutes a game and averages 11.2 points. The fact is, Rasual Butler is doing a better job than Morris Peterson (8.0 PPG) ever did last season. And in 2009, he has absolutely been lighting it up.

Check this: Over the Hornets’ last 10 games, ‘Sual Bop is averaging 18.2 points per game on .496 shooting. Your resident fact checka is here to inform you that that’s a better percentage than Kobe Bryant and Ray Allen are currently shooting over the same 10 game split.

So he’s not one of the top shooting guards in the league. Like, whoo. Who does your team start at the 2? OK, don’t answer that question. I realize the Hornets have a different situation than many NBA teams. The fact is that not every team has a Chris Paul, whereas there are many dominant shooting guards in the league. Of course if you’ve got one, the offense is going to be run through him. So when you go to evaluate a guy like Rasual Butler, who effectively plays the role of the 4th or 5th wheel on the Hornets, as opposed to other 2 guards who are a bigger part of the offense, you will need to make some adjustments. At the Hive has done the numbers on this, analyzing where Butler fits in with other shooting guards when you adjust for usage rate. (The answer is 2nd in the league, behind Utah’s Ronnie Brewer, making ‘Sual a pretty efficient dude for the touches he gets.)

Too bad he’s like the Invisible Man over here.

I’m not asking you to proclaim him the next big star or anything like that. I’m just asking you to recognize that here’s a guy who, at the age of 29, is quietly playing the best basketball of his life. But you know, maybe it’s OK that everyone’s not talking about Rasual Butler. You just go right ahead and leave him open to swish shots over your head. Maybe it’s enough that Hornets fans recognize and appreciate him. And honestly, we might understand him a little more, and on a little deeper level, than the average NBA observer anyway. His success this year, while uplifting, means more to us than to you.

In New Orleans, we know a little something about rising from the ashes.

I should get one. What would it look like?

Kinda slow on the uptake, a little depressed, and with a goofy “it wasn’t me!” grin? Why, Pose, why?

We need to put an APB out on the Hornets bench. Like now. Lost: one bench. Age: 23-33. Height: 6′8″ish, on the average. Ethnicity: mostly African American, with a touch of Iowa and Kiwi. Last seen: In the second quarter, looking sheepish. If found, please return to Verizon Center, 601 F Street NW, Washington, DC. Before tomorrow afternoon if possible.

But since it’s always nice to end with something funny after you talk about something horrifyingly bad, here: go  over to Ball Don’t Lie and caption this photo of Shocked!DWest.