Hornets Hype

Well, for better or for worse, the Jeff Bower era is over in New Orleans.  It’s 2010, do you know where your general manager is?  No doubt Bower was a conservative force, but a prudent one too.  He brought in Tyson Chandler for almost nothing.  When it was obvious Tyson was hurt, he remedied a potential mistake in giving him back away, by getting Okafor for him.  People bitch, but Tyson played 51 games last year; Okafor 82.  Bower also made sure to lock down Chris Paul through at least 2012.  Oh, and he drafted those Collison and Thornton Kids, First and Second All-Rookie Team picks.  Plus, Quincy Pondexter and Craig Brackins looked pretty good this year in Vegas.

Was Bower a good coach?  Did he want to coach for longer than most of last season?  I thought so.  But it seemed Chris wanted it to go another way.  Regardless, him firing Byron was a tough call that had to be made.  Anyone watching our first 9 games knew that everyone but Chris had quit on Byron.  So let’s hope Bower getting the boot as coach or as GM had nothing to do with Chris.  Not because I care if CP feels that way, but because I don’t want my team giving into him.

Sure, I recognize CP is the greatest player the Hornets have ever seen.  But a team can’t just give a player everything he wants and expect him to respect it.  Look at the Cavaliers.  On the flip side, did the Lakers acquiesce to Kobe’s one-time trade demand, or his call to trade Bynum?  No, instead they told him to suit up and went and got Gasol.  Now, three more championships later, the Lakers’ GM, Mitch Kupchak, looks brilliant.

So the Hornets went out and got a Coach, one CP supposedly lobbied for over Bower’s choice of Tom Thibodeau.  Now they have a young GM from the Spurs organization, a team we keep hearing that Nola has modeled itself after.  So let’s hope those moves were made for the right reasons, because I’m already sick of the Era of the Lebrons.  In this modern era, it seems like too often it is all about what can be done easily, cheaply, fastly.  Spare no adverb.  Market big teams, play up their stars and start rumors of all small market stars jumping ship; easy revenue.  Can’t build a team of your own through trades and draft, just sign all the best players to the same team.  Why earn anything when you can be given it?  Why become a champion when you’re already King?

Unfortunately, the last question is what worries me most.  CP has joined forces with LRMR, Lebron’s management company, ditching his long-time agency, Octagon.  Not one person I’ve spoken to via any medium in existence has thought this a good move.  LRMR has only embarrassed themselves and Lebron this summer.  I’ve yet to hear from anyone that they were competent or have any idea what they are doing.  They are hangers-on of Lebron who are blowing through his money long enough to bamboozle, coerce, and sexually harass their way up the American corporate ladder.  I have my sources too, and none report anything good out of this camp.  Then, there are the media credentials snuffed by Lebron’s camp for bad press, and the dunk videos suppressed.  Are these are today’s role models for young kids?  Be friends with someone who is rich and act like you’re in a rap video.  But let’s berate those nerds who actually paid attention in class or had the audacity to go to college, or gasp, graduate school.  Those are the *gasp* “academic elite.”  Yeah, let’s put down people that work on their brains as much as NBAers work on their bodies and game.  Too bad we don’t respect those people as much as professional athletes.

Anywho, CBS is reporting Chris Paul has played his last game as a Hornet.  So say “people close to him.”  Close how?  His mother?  His cousin?  His mailman?  The guy he met at Barnes & Noble?  It says he wants to go to the Magic, Lakers, or Knicks.  Unsurprisingly, the article also mentions LRMR as a reason he will “fight his way out of New Orleans.”  Weird, yesterday’s Times Picayune, said that Chris was “likes the current changes under way.”  This only highlights how much the CBS article is pure speculation, which, of course, is all the media is anymore.  Gone are the days of objective journalism.  Whether you’re FoxNews, MSNBC, CNN, whatever, you’re more likely to hear about Paris Hilton than genocide in Somalia.  You’re also not as likely to hear the pros or cons of President Obama’s policies as much as one channel will tell you he’s a Nazi-Socialist guarded by liberal elites, while the other will tell you he’s a brilliant consensus-bringer that has majority support and is hampered by feet-dragging bottom-feeders.  It’s like the world’s controlled by some evil genius who controls all information in a plot to make us all dumber.  All I want is CP back on the court doing his thing.  Is that so much?  I mean, can we leave the gossip alone and talk about how he’s preparing, how is injury recovery is coming, what strategy he’s talked over with Coach Williams?  Let me know.

If you don’t know, New Orleans is an extremely loyal town, but we’re also extremely protective.  We know what we have, we love what we have, and we protect it against all who would take it away from us or disparage it.  We love our cultural icons, whether Huey Long, Louis Armstrong, or Marie Laveau.  Take now the Saints’ Drew Brees?  He’s a permanent hero.  A Super Bowl Champion.  Brees and Co. are also useful in the NBA context, proving the glaring lie that most media outlets have espoused this summer: Chris Paul must leave because New Orleans can’t support a world champion.  Um, February?  Saints?  Super Bowl?  Ring a bell?  I’m finding it harder to be a gentleman.  In fairness, though, Brees came here after being rejected by his former team.  He had his chip.  Chris’ has always been being picked after other guards, being told he was too small.  He used those things to push him.  But does he need to feel the love from some other team too?  I hope not.  Look at the greats before you, CP: Russell, Magic, Bird, Jordan, Kobe, Pierce.  All their legacies are defined by playing for a single team.  Learn from them, not Lebron.

I say show us something, Chris.  Prove to us you can win anywhere.  Jason Kidd’s been to two Finals.  Nash has been to the Conference Finals three times.  They both have you.  Prove you’re the best floor leader in the League.  Show us you’re the best on the floor, show us you have the desire to win because it’s inside you, and that you don’t need to find it in some symbiotic celebrity collage.  Michael didn’t need Magic.  Magic didn’t need Bird.  And you don’t need whoever.  You have David West.  You have Peja.  You have Marcus Buckets.  No, they’re not Wade, Bosh, or Lebron.  But Michael had Pippen and Grant; Rodman and Kukoc.  Magic had Worthy and Scott.  This team, if it stays healthy, can compete.  The world has forgotten, but David West carried this team at times, as did Peja; but when injuries piled up, the results were mediocre.  But with a healthy Chris Paul et al., the Hornets can contend.  We just need CP3 to be out there giving it his all, instead of worrying about getting out of his contract.  So, Chris, leave LRMR at the door and show us your heart.  Or did choosing LRMR show us precisely that?  I hope not.

Bower built this team.  He built it to win.  That’s why @snavetrebor calls him Bower Robotnik; he’s an evil genius, planning on worldwide domination.  Y’all reading this post can look at the pictures above and tell me if they are one and the same.  But my real question is whether this Hornets team be Bower’s legacy, or that of the Lebrons?  That is, will this team built to win now disintegrate in the wake of a selfish star demanding a trade?  CBS thinks so.  But I’ll believe it when I see it.  As for now, it’s all conjecture and madness.  Come fall, I think Chris Paul will remind the world why he should have gotten an MVP award before Lebron.  I think he’ll show the world what 50+ wins looks like.  And he’ll do it in a Hornets uniform.  Book it.

I’m so over Tom Thibodeaux it’s not even funny. So how come he can’t get over himself? Then we’d all be on the same page here. I’m so over him I took his X away. Yes! I did. You wanna play us, you don’t get no nice Louisiana X from me no more, ya heard?

Seriously. So we make an offer. Then we don’t. Then we do. Then he meets with Chicago in the dead of night. Then he doesn’t. Then he does. Then Jeff Bower gives the man a deadline (which has passed as of today) and leans toward pulling the contract offer and offering the job to Portland assistant Monty Williams.

This is fine with me. That’s the thing about hiring assistants. You don’t really know what you’re getting. But if we don’t know what we’re getting with Williams, let’s not forget we don’t know what we’re getting with Thibodeau either. Neither has been a head coach before. We could strike it rich or strike out. It’s rolling the dice on someone. We were all over Thibodeau because of the defensive scheme he implemented with the Celtics. It would have been nice, especially for a team that played little to no defense this year. But Gregg Popovich apparently saw something in Monty Williams, and that’s not nothing.

I’m glad some national media members have picked up on the drama and seem to be indicating through their tweets (@chrismannixsi and @wojyahoonba particularly) that Jeff Bower’s peers around the league think this is utter B.S. I admit to getting a tad defensive, and really it’s hard not to, because we’re always the bad guy. “The Hornets Arena is empty!” when there are 16,000 people in it. “The Hornets are ruining Chris Paul’s career!” “The Hornets traded for a guy with a bigger contract because they’re CHEAP.” (I’ve never figured that last one out.) It’s nice to see some people saying, “Yo. Stop. This is a dude who’s interviewed for a bazillion head coaching jobs and never been offered one. And now that he’s suddenly popular and in the news, he jerks Bower around.”

This isn’t the Hornets fault. They got their coaching search started early. Why aren’t we blaming Chicago and New Jersey for being the ones who haven’t gotten their shit together to start interviews yet? The longer this gets drawn out, the more the Hornets lose the advantage of having started a long search before everyone but the Sixers. Bower has to be pissed about that. And Thibodeau has to realize that if the Hornets wanted to wait for every candidate to talk to Atlanta and Chicago and New Jersey and Cleveland and their grandmother first, they would have waited till July to start the damn search.

And no, I don’t buy the “It’s the middle of the Finals! It’s sooo mean to set a deadline!” argument. The man went on an interview with his team deep in the playoffs. It was reasonable to expect that that interview might result in a job offer. It’s not like he went to the freakin’ Krispy Kreme and oh look, surprise, there was Jeff Bower offering him donuts and a head coaching job the day before the Finals! He interviewed. This is not about being deep in the playoffs. It’s about wanting to talk to 2 or 3 other teams first. Let’s not pretend it’s not about anything but that.

And see, here’s the thing. The longer this goes on, the more like suckers he makes Bower and Weber and Chouest and whoever look. We are entering a new ownership era and we’re going to have more expiring money to play with this year than we’ve had since, oh, before I started following this team. You need to start this off strong. And more importantly, you need someone who wants to be here. MW was saying that this morning, and he’s right. New Orleans is a unique city. It’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely not for people who don’t want to be here. Choose to come here, do a genuine good job, get Chris Paul on your side, and it will love you. But to put it bluntly, if you’d rather be in New Jersey, we don’t want you here.

Shit or get off the pot, Mr. Thibodeau. We got other things to do.

To Jeff Bower & Co. Pull the offer today. Call Monty Williams. Please.

Huge sigh of relief.

I was pretty sure the “impasse” in the talks that supposedly happened in the last two weeks was just a bit of gamesmanship and bargaining strategy from Shinn, since it was pretty clear there weren’t ever any other investors involved besides Chouest, but you can never be sure. If the sale talks dragged on any longer, it was going to start affecting the coach search, draft, and free agency. I’m definitely glad it’s getting done.

The Times Picayune is saying the official announcement of the transfer of ownership will happen Wednesday Thursday afternoon. We know Chouest is a Louisiana native, who bought his one quarter share in the team in 2007 with the goal of keeping basketball in New Orleans. We know he’s the owner of Edison Chouest Offshore, which manufactures marine vessels for the oil industry. Since the company is privately held, no source is clear on exactly how much he’s worth, but it’s certainly more than George Shinn. If he is indeed a billionaire, as rumored, this would put him in the top half of the list of the NBA’s richest owners**. But beyond that, Chouest is something of a mystery man, preferring to remain Shinn’s silent partner. He has only granted one interview, to my knowledge, and that was at the announcement of the purchase of his 25% stake in the team. We don’t know his ideas about the direction of the team. We don’t know how he feels about going over the luxury tax to ensure that Chris Paul stays in New Orleans. And we don’t know the possible future effects of the recent oil rig disaster on his business.

What we do know is that two of this blog’s least favorite things,  1) stupid error-riddled articles about the Hornets being cheap and 2) stupid error-riddled articles about the Hornets moving to another city, are probably about to be gone. Permanently. It’s like going to your high school reunion and seeing that the people who made fun of you got fat and work in retail now. Are we allowed to steal free agents out from under other teams’ noses and then laugh in their faces, or at least their local beat writers’ faces, now that we’re super super rich? Please say yes.

This is a good day for Hornets fans.

** Quoth the TP: “Many sources in the New Orleans area have indicated that Chouest’s financial resources are vast, easily in the 10-figure range.” The NBA apparently has eight other billionaire owners.

Such a confounding 2009-2010 Season leaves even the most verbose speechless. Wins this year against most playoff teams (all but Cleveland, Toronto, and San Antonio), yet, losses to the Knicks twice, the Warriors ever, and now consecutive losses to the Wizards, Grizzlies, and Nets. A 12-5 January, nicking Playoff seeding, only to be followed by a 5-8 February, and a 4-12 March; and April showers bring 0-2 starts. We never got to see Ike Diogu, and even back-up, Sean Marks, has been reduced to rubble by injury. Chris Paul missed 33 games from the middle of it all, and Peja played 60+ games, healthy all year, only to suffer an injury just when Chris came back. Two-time All-Star David West started off cool enough to miss the ASG, but now, along with Amare, is the only player to increase his scoring output each month, and is hustling and flowing on both sides of the floor like the All-Star we all knew he was; sadly, now, he’s the only one.

What do you make of this game, this month, this season of inordinate chaos, these itinerate athletes looking like champs against the defending ones, winning wonderfully against hated foes Dallas, and gleefully allowing us to revel in the early revenge against the Deadwood Nuggets; only to allow one team freefalling toward the top lottery pick to snap a sixteen game losing streak sans their three best players, and to allow another, working hard to suddenly avoid the worst season ever to win by 28, for a team, this month, this year, this season, who refuses to either beat-down or be blown-out by all but the most respectively horrific and dominant of teams?

Ah fuck it, I seriously can’t waste any more time working on this post. The Hornets obviously don’t care, so why should I?

Last night we were lucky enough to be able to attend the Hornets annual Top Hats and High Tops gala to benefit the George Shinn Foundation. We had never been before, and we had a lot of fun. It was at the Roosevelt Hotel. Didn’t take too many pics, or really stalk the players, but here’s a short recap, bullet-style.

• Emeka Okafor pulled up and handed his car to the valet just as we arrived. It was a black Benz. Surprise, surprise (if you’ve ever gone to the airport to greet the team after a road trip, you know that this is THE official NBA player car or something).
• Everyone was there, even Sean Marks, Ike Diogu, and Peja. Marks had his arm in one of those huge immobilizing casts that looks like a box. Ike looked fine, but Peja had a bit of a limp. I would not expect him back on the floor just yet.
• Julian Wright sang a John Legend song on stage. He was pretty good!
• Emeka’s date bid on his signed Mardi Gras jersey and photo at the silent auction. And I am pretty sure I saw them walking out with it at the end of the evening too. LOL!
• I didn’t really stare at any of the players’ wives/girlfriends/dates, so don’t even ask for details on them or what they wore.
• We got a player at our table, and they pulled names out of hats to see who. It turned out to be Aaron Gray. He and his date were super nice and put up with everyone at the table talking nonstop about Twitter. Aaron (as George Shinn gives a speech about his cancer): Are you all twittering right now? … We were. We are all horrible people. Haha.
• Aaron Gray ate two dinner plates.
• The event was 1920s themed. Turns out that’s what the ’20s photoshoot the Hornets players did last month was for. They had big, sepia versions of all the players on the wall and in the silent auction.
• One of the coolest silent auction items was the entire team’s signed shoes. It took up like a whole table. I’m not sure what you would do with it.
• I only saw James Posey from afar. Sigh. For those of you who remember, last year Posey was in a bad shooting slump, and the day after I took a picture with him at an appearance, he came out and went off like crazy from three. I took credit, and the joke was, any Hornet who touches me will have a great game the next night. Unfortunately, I forgot about this until late in the evening. The only players who touched Lucky Ticktock6 were Marcus Thornton, Darren Collison, and David West, and let’s face it, they were all going to have good games anyway. Wasted opportunity…
• My goal for the evening was a pic with Buckets. I ended up getting both rookies, because they were sitting beside each other talking when I walked up, and I didn’t want to leave Lil Dimes out. I did not explain to Thornton that I am responsible for him getting stuck with being called “Lil Buckets.” (Niall at Hornets 247 recently told me it says Lil Buckets on his sheet that the Hornets hand around to the media.) Maybe another time…
• The ladies love Peja. I don’t get it. Haha.
• Chris Paul was wearing a velvet blazer and gray and white (I think) Dunks. And glasses. Stylin.

Our table (except mW, who's taking the picture)with Aaron Gray. His date is sitting. I'm on the right. He was popular with the ladies, as you can see.

And… wait for it… wait for it… the highlight of my night:

ROOKIE SANDWICH!!

Per game stats are totally yesterday. Advanced stats are the only thing to use if you really want to sound educated about the game. What we bring you is neither. There’re plenty of good Hornets sites that do that. We bring you inane facts, only marginally “stats,” and as likely to predict results as Voodoo or Bible verses: ticket faces. That’s right. Ticket faces.

In years past, Hornets’ season tickets have featured Hornets’ players, and we’ve used that to karmically prognosticate results, based on the cosmic attunement inherent to each individual. This year, though, with new ticket looks, we’ve expanded our reach. Now, instead of just one indicator of results, we’ve compiled three rotating features and translated them into the future, like speaking to the Fates themselves.

As you can see, Hornets’ season tickets come in either blue, gold, or purple. They also either feature the Fleur-de-Bee, Nola Horn, or Hugo logo. Lastly, they are sponsored by either Capital One, Cox, or 7-Up. Although you’d think that things like player execution, coaching, or whether a butterfly in India flaps its wings would determine the outcome of games, it’s actually the confluence of the not-so-mystical symbols on these ticket faces. True story.

Anywho, to start with, you want a Creole blue ticket. Yup, those are 9-3 this season. Next, you’d want purple tick, at 7-4. But, if you get a Mardi Gras gold face, you’re pushing it at 5-4. If you don’t have season tickets yourself, shame on you. Go get some for next year. But for now, ask around, your neighbor will clue you in to what the game’s ticket face is.

As for logos, the proven winner, at 12-4, is the Fleur-de-Bee. The Nola Horn, at 6-2, ain’t bad either. Just, for the love of Zeus, don’t get Hugo on a ticket; at 3-5, his presence is the single greatest indicator of defeat. Corporate sponsors show just as much difference: Capital One rocks it at 9-2, Cox is a close second at 7-4, while 7-Up is the only other non-winning factor, at 5-5.

Unsurprisingly then, the Blue-Nola Horn-Capital One ticket, with a .774 winning percentage is like the other team kissing your ring. On the other hand, the Gold-Hugo-7-Up ticket, is the kiss of death. What you’re probably wondering, then, is what does this mean for our near future? Like Friday’s game?

Denver is a tough foe, admittedly. But that’s hardly relevant. Here’s what is: a Purple-Fleur-de-Bee-7-Up ticket. It’s a clusterfuck. Seriously. Purple’s good, Fleur-de-Bee is great, but that 7-Up is a killer. On average, the combination is only 15^th out of 27 possibilities. Ehh. On the other hand, the numbers still say we will win almost two out of every three such games. That sounds better. I’m going with that. Look for the Bees to upset the Deadwood Nuggets.

[Note from Ticktock6: It is our belief that the Hornets organization's failure to keep ticket statistics directly led to them missing out on the Western Conference Finals 2 years ago. The Mo Pete ticket was the only ticket that year without a winning record, and they put his face on the Spurs Game 7 ticket. A little research and a staggering playoff loss could have been easily avoided.]

Admittedly, since the New Orleans Hornets landed Chris Paul, it’s been easy to be a fan. After being thrown into the deep West, the once-Playoff-worthy Hornets nose-dived into one of the worst years in franchise history, short as it is. But then we drafted this kid that somehow three other teams didn’t sense would be a once-in-a-generation talent. Other than one half-blind thieves’ fan (yes, Utah, you stole our team and colors and we tend not to forget things like that), Chris was the unanimous Rookie of the Year in 2005-06, and we started to believe things would be okay, even though still suffering from the aftereffects of Hurricane Katrina, and with our team still playing in Oklahoma City.

Injuries tarnished the next year, but then, back in New Orleans, the Hornets suddenly were contending with the Lakers for the top spot in the West, and Chris was contending for MVP, and, yeah, our coach won the yearly honor for turning the ship around. We believed that just as he did in Jersey, this coach would take us to the Finals. Life as a Hornets fan was easy. Two of every three games was a win. We had the All-Star Game in Nola, featuring two Hornets’ players and our coach, and Chris Paul was hailed as the Savior of Basketball in New Orleans. As fans, we honestly, honestly believed that when the media talk of Kobe, Lebron, and Wade faded in May and the dust settled, it was Chris and the Hornets that they’d be talking about in June.

Except nothing’s that easy in the chaos of the NBA, and you learn that nothing can be taken for granted; there are no guarantees. Even if you have one of the top three talents in the League. In hindsight, you begin to respect the Pistons and Pacers of old, the Lakers and Mavs now, and all the other teams who are there every year, playing late into the Second Season and legitimately fighting for Rings. For Hornets’ fans, 2008-09 was a rough one, marred again by injuries, but still, at least we were in the Playoffs, which is, of course, why our guys play the game. Even if it didn’t end like we wanted, we’d find redemption the next year.

But then a 3-7 start that even Chris Paul couldn’t save, a coach that lost his team, and then his job, and we all felt sucker-punched. We had assumed the prior year was the aberration, not our success of two years ago. Were we wrong? Did we or did we not have three career all-stars? Did we or did we not have the X-Factor of back-ups in Ringmaster, James Posey? Did we not have two promising rookies that tore up the Summer League? What was wrong with this team? The only bright spot was a sterling home record to give us our money’s worth for our ticket price purchases; but this was overshadowed by the team’s utter inability to win on the road and a porous defense. Then injuries started creeping in again, and then seats that were sold stopped being bought. Those of us, who out of habit, still look around the Arena at the start of every game to gauge the attendance, figured with the Saints’ success, there was less attention on basketball, generally, but the empty seats would be temporary, right? We’d heal up, pull ourselves into the Playoffs, football would end, and the sell-outs would ensue, right? Kind of. That was the plan before Chris got injured.

Life, generally speaking, is a creature of chaos, not bound to order or rules, no matter how hard we try to insist otherwise; the NBA is little different, and perhaps, even a hyperbole of life’s ordinary upheaval: where all the chaos is played out in front of us, to be taped, recorded, and Tivo’d for instant re-watching and slow-motion back angle reviews again and again, concomitant with the back-room deals and quiet trades that transform even the most stable teams out from under us. So, as fans, our neat little plan to back a yearly winner is subject to that beyond our control, and when our expectations collide with a harsh reality, it can take a toll on that which makes us want to be fans in the first place. But one thing I can say about this Hornets team, which may yet serve them well in the short weeks to come: they are fighters. In few games, win or lose, have they refused to fight, to give it their all. Even as they make frustrating mistakes—bad passes, errant dribbles, stupid fouls—they’re trying their hardest. On most nights, they give us the opportunity to experience a wondrous sense of vicarious agency were anything can happen. And on some nights, maybe even Amazing will happen.

That’s why I became a basketball fan. And in New Orleans, where we look-out for anything that’s ours and jealousy guard it even as we willingly share it with our friends and visitors, a paradox that escapes many transients to our City, we’re still excited about the Hornets and support them without reservation. That won’t stop anytime soon, despite all the panic-mongers who have been on the blogs and boards from our first loss telling everyone to blow the team up and start over. If you’re one of those types, then maybe you just don’t get it. Maybe you never will. And maybe you were the one walking out of a 7 point game with 4:32 to go.

It’s hard to be a fan of a bubble-team with higher expectations. But it’s still basketball. And the Hornets are our team. All the hindsight in the world can tell you what they’re doing wrong. But seeing how hard they work to make it right, makes it worth it. I’m impressed with Jeff Bower, and believe he has us moving in the right direction. We have a solid core and a respectable bench, when healthy. Our rookies are fantastic, and, of course, we have Chris Paul, who is still our Savior. Nonetheless, with all the adversity we’ve faced this year, maybe we won’t make the Playoffs. But that’s okay, because I believe that if they don’t become who we think they can be this year, they will next year. Or the next year after that. I’ll wait.

Basketball is a game of passion.  Of swings.  Of runs.  Of jumping onto your feet and screaming at the top of your lungs with eighteen thousand people and clapping excitedly under the thud-thud-thud of arena loudspeakers.  It’s easy to get swept up in being a fan, in celebrating every basket and barking at every bad call.  But it’s too much.  The swings are too high-low and the runs too inevitable.  To get personally involved in each ebb and flow only leads to blown blood vessels and broken remote controls bounced off carpet too close to innocent bystanders.

It’s easy to enjoy the game when CP3 and DX are hitting shots at will, kicking it out to Peja and MoPete for 3 after 3 like a torrential downpour, and all residual possessions are alley oops to Tyson Chandler.  It’s easy to be a fan when you break the franchise record for wins in a season and are a few whistles away from the Western Conference Finals.  It gets a little harder when injuries flare up and the wins don’t come quite so easily, when your big free agent acquisition isn’t really the “final piece,” your bench implodes and collapses into an abyss of statistical hell, and Championship dreams fall flat.  It’s even harder when you start the next season 3-9 and start wondering what happened to all the big easy buckets and blowout wins.  Suddenly, the trolls have crawled out from under their bridges and are out telling you how your team sucks, and even people on your own boards and blogs are calling to blow it all up.  As if that would make your team any better.

This is what tests your fandom and reminds you that basketball is a hard fought game where nothing comes easy.  This is what tells you you need to relearn how to watch basketball.  How many adverse runs have I watched from the couch and told ticktock6 to calm down, this is a game of runs?  Easy to preach, but putting it into practice comes harder.  For sure, this season, more than any other in recent years, has reminded me that basketball is a 48:00 minute game; no matter how ugly, no matter how frustrating, the only thing that will matter is the W.  When the playoff seedings are made, nail-biters against bad teams don’t count any more than statement games against division rivals; and blowout losses don’t hurt any more than the games we gave away, only to come back by fighting hard at the very end, only to blow any way.  So you remind yourself that the runs don’t matter, only who’s left standing at the end; any one run, most nights, will not break the game.

Basketball has the unique quality, unlike most major sports, that 90% of the time, that one big play will NOT decide the game, just get another two points amidst the ninety-some others.  The nastiest block at best takes away one possession, among eighty or so others.  So what you teach yourself is to celebrate what you can, and to be patient the rest.  You relearn the swell of the game and remember how a team that looks horrible for a 2-14 stretch over 3:47 can call a timeout, make a key substitution, and quiet the crowd while regathering and then come back with a renewed intensity on defense, better ball movement on offense, and just flat-out more go-get-itness, and suddenly reverse that deficit just as fast as they gave it up.

The truth is, more games than not, math works; the team that averages 40% from the field, but comes out shooting 60% in the first half, is often enough going to shoot 20% in the second half.  It’s not an exactitude for every game, but as a typical balance, holds true.  So as a fan, you have to brace yourself for all this.  To be patient.  To wait until the final buzzer, because virtually no lead is insurmountable, no run is unanswerable, and every swing of the pendulum one way will inexorably fall back the other.

Games like tonight’s home game against Memphis are precisely this kind of game, where we ran out ahead early, but Memphis answered.  Where our second unit blew open the lead and the starters came back and held onto it, up by ten at the half.  Then, incredulously, we started out the third, on our home floor, giving up a horrible 8-27 run, getting absolutely abused by a very good Grizzlies’ team.  Game over?  You could hear someone in the crowd muttering that this would be two home losses in a row.  But then a Hornets run trimmed a ten-point Grizzlies’ lead to three heading into the fourth.  Whatever optimism that may have engendered, however, was tempered as the tide swelled again and Memphis pushed it back to nine, deflating the crowd.  That is, until Darius Songaila hit a highly unlikely contested three as the shot clock went off, shrinking the deficit again to a much more manageable six.  But again, Memphis outworked the Bees until its lead was back up to ten, forcing the Hornets to call a time out.  A few minutes later, Zack Randolph at the line can make it ten again, with only four and change to go; yet, after missing the second, Hornets get the rebound and Chris Paul rallies the troops, getting in everyone’s grill on both ends of the floor, and after a relatively quiet three-and-a-half, just flat-out goes nova: scoring 6 points, grabbing 1 rebound, and diming 3 assists in a five-possession span over barely two-minutes.  Game over?  Hornets win?  Hardly.  Still two-and-a-half left and Memphis fought back like devils and forced the Hornets to earn it.  But they did.  Hornets make the last shot with 0.8 to go and fight off Memphis’ final scripted play.  Finally, the game swells to an end.

So, after becoming spoiled by success, I’ve had to relearn how to watch the game.  But it’s been worth it.

• January 2009: Tracy McGrady is very nearly voted into a starting All Star Game slot over Chris Paul. Tyson Chandler gets hurt. David West gets hurt. Hilton Armstrong gets hurt (not usually a noteworthy thing in itself, but noteworthy in combination with the former two items, meaning the Hornets were almost entirely without big men).
• February 2009: Chris Paul gets hurt. Tyson Chandler and David West continue to be hurt. The Hornets trade Tyson Chandler. Then untrade Tyson Chandler.
• March 2009: Peja gets hurt. Tyson has, as aforementioned, still not been traded…. but is still hurt.
• April 2009: Hornets go 2-6 heading into the playoffs, causing them to fall to the seventh seed. But otherwise, nothing important happens this month, especially on the 27th.
• May 2009: Hornets fans are in a state of stunned shock as it is revealed that Devin Brown has a player option for 2009-10. Some other teams play some playoff games somewhere and stuff.
• June 2009: The Hornets draft DC and Marcus Buckets. Oh wait, these were good things. I guess this was a good month for the Hornets, then. Perhaps unironically, the month in which the least actual basketball was played.
• July 2009: The Hornets trade Tyson Chandler. Again. And sign some underrated guy who will never actually play for the team. Because–I know you won’t be able to guess this one– he gets hurt.
• August 2009: Hornets trade Rasual Butler for our new best friend, Cap Space.
• September 2009: Emeka Okafor gets hurt. If you were going to say, “Wait, the season hasn’t actually started yet!” … you would be right.
• October 2009: The Hornets rookies look great in preseason, and are, of course, promptly benched by Byron Scott.
• November 2009: Hornets lose a bunch of games. Byron Scott gets fired. Chris Paul gets hurt. (To add to the fun, those last two things happen within a day of each other! Good. Timez.) The national media writes 15,761 million posts and articles about how Chris Paul doesn’t smile, even though Chris Paul has never smiled on the floor. And then 365,298 posts about how the Hornets should trade him, preferably to _____ (insert beat writer’s local team).
• December 2009: Hornets have three consecutive chances to get to .500 against teams worse than them. They fail three consecutive times. Hornets, showing a real knack for capping off the Worst Year Ever in a way that pretty nicely sums things up, trade Devin Brown to the T-Wolves for cap space. And then it gets taken back. Oh, and just to bring things full circle, Tracy McGrady is very nearly voted into a starting All Star Game slot over Chris Paul. Again.

"No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again."

Did I miss anything? I think we are all in agreement when I say, “Here’s to 2010!”

Otherwise entitled, “Dear lord, Hornets, you had two previous chances to hit that elusive .500 mark by beating weak ass teams like the Knicks and the Raptors and you lost both games. Well, tonight you have the reeling Bulls, who lost a game in which they had a 35 point lead AT HOME. I know you suck on the road this year, but come on.”

Look, Hornets, we need to talk. You want to be over .500, right? Well, mathematics says that before you can be over .500, you have to actually be .500. As in, at the balance point at which you have as many wins as losses. That’s just math, guys. Math is your friend. And yet you are treating it like it it not. You have been looking at math like it is some crazy nigh-un-overcome-able weird mental block. But it’s just math.

Or look at it this way. You are currently the 15th best team in the NBA. Yay for being incredibly average! Nay, the very definition of average. But there are some teams above you that you can be better than. You can be better than OKC (they’re .500). You can be better than Miami (they’re a one-dude team like you, and they’re in the East). You can be better than San Antonio (they’re not lookin’ pretty this year) and Utah (ditto). You could be better than Houston if you tried as hard as they do and had their coach (they got even more nobodies than you on their team and they’re 17-12!)  Pass ONLY TWO of those teams and you are in the playoffs despite one of the more depressing starts in the league.

.500 game. Let’s try this one more time.

P.S. It’s Devin Brown’s 31st birthday on December 30th. Should I get him something?