Hornets Hype

I had to do the beat myself in my living room. How could you not?

The past three games since returning from the ankle:

35-16

37-4

23-11

And a grand total of 25/27 at the free throw line.

Who’s a star now?

(There is no point to this post. I just really like the picture.)

In the words of the opposing coach, Doc Rivers, “David West single-handedly destroyed us.” You taking note, Rafer Alston? Those of us in the Big Easy have known all year that D-West deserved his All-Star spot. And last night he proved it big-time. Many people have called for Garnett to get the Defensive Player of the Year award, especially if he misses out on the MVP. Well, tonight, D-West said otherwise, putting up 37 points on Boston’s big man.

Hornets’ coach Byron Scott called it a “quiet” 37, which it was, because until we looked up at the player of the game stats, we had no idea he had scored that many. But this is why David is so crucial to the Hornets. When we struggle with perimeter shooting, David offers an alternative: able to just plug away and hammer the paint points. He’s done it to the best in the West, and now he’s done it to the best in the East. He’s like a force of nature, and he’s going to carry us in the playoffs.

Don’t get me wrong, I love CP and Peja, and all the rest, but when it comes to the solid, easy, punishing points and drawing fouls, West is the man. David West.

1. I didn’t like the trade. I heard the dude was mad crazy.

The Hornets have great chemistry, and they genuinely seem to enjoy being around each other, and I was worried that that would get messed up when you integrate a guy who’s been a locker room problem. Then he got here and played with good flashes, but appeared generally out of sync. Played aggressively, but took some junky shots. Then he got injured. Then he wasn’t on the bench because he “forgot to bring clothes that went with the dress code,” which we thought might be secret code for, “Seriously? Are you in B. Scott’s doghouse already? You just got here!” Then he was injured some more.

This week we have Bonziiiii. He outscored the Rockets 20-10 in the fourth quarter. And you know, after the Spurs game last week it occurred to me that if he’s an asshole, then the Hornets just might need an asshole. For instance, I am already starting to trust him to regulate if he’s on the floor and someone pushes Chris Paul around. He might get all up in the shooter’s face on D, he might gnaw someone’s leg off. He just has this crazy glint in his eye. You know what I’m talking about.

2. Please tell me someone else thinks the Jumbotron cartoon they debuted at last night’s game is the pure drug-induced fun I think it is.

I will describe it. First, the official headshot the Hornets use for Bonzi Wells is hilarious to begin with. His eyes are half-closed. He isn’t smiling. He’s wearing a headband, but you can’t see his head over the top of it because his head’s sort of tilted back. So it may be a turban. He may be high. It may, in fact, be an actual mugshot. No one knows.

So. Some interns in the Hornets’ office got high this week and decided Bonzi’s emergence needs to be celebrated by a fun Jumbotron graphic they can roll out when he scores. I will endeavor to do it justice.

First there is a bonsai tree. Yes, a little green cartoon tree. Which says BONZI over it in Japanese-esque lettering. Then they pop up his headshot. It starts really small, then it spins, growing bigger and bigger until it fills up the screen. This would be way less funny if it wasn’t a headshot that has the ability to SCARE SMALL CHILDREN.

I swear, this thing kills me. I laughed so hard.

3. When the team came back from halftime, I saw him standing near the bench chatting with the suit-clad Rasual Butler and downing a Red Bull.

Practice? Bonzi don’t need no practice. He needs Red Bull, bitches.

So, Tyson Chandler, Chris Paul, and an elephant walk into a bar…

Just kidding. It’s Tyson Chandler, CP3, and an elephant. It’s already funny just on principle.

Hey guys, is that an elephant in the room? Oh OK, it’s just the Lakers game tonight. NO BIG DEAL or anything.

Go Hornets! The BUZZ is in full force!

Okay, there’s been a lot of TC-bashing in certain Hornets forums lately. Not doing enough of this or that…boo-hoo. The man is AVERAGING 12 and 12 in the basket and on the boards, adding a block and an assist, with a steal every other game. Funny how people see that Shaq gets 11 and 11 the other night and think this is good. Not to mention that TC is only 25, and thus still growing into his game. Could he work on his defense a little? Sure. Do we wish the man got more blocks? Sure. But I also wish CP averaged 40-20-10-10 and Peja averaged 15 three pointers a game. Guess what? Yeah. Not gonna happen.

The key question is how does TC contribute to victories? The fact is that most complaints about his D are about his help on penetrating guards. He’s done a pretty good job this year straight up. And while the question of whether he is an All-Star depends on how he can guard the Shaqs, Howards, and Yaos, the question of whether TC will have a monster game is often about the center, not the team. For example, without a dominant center, he probably would have done great against MJ’s Bulls, even though the Bees would have lost out. Like tonight, who can say who will win against the Spurs, but with 6′9″ Kurt Thomas listed as their starting center (pictured, getting rejected by a shooting guard, left), expect TC to have a big game.

I’ve yet to understand the love crush critics have on Kurt Thomas. He is at best mediocre. Besides the fact that I can’t stand teams that insist on putting 6′8″ or 6′9″ guys, even with bulk, at center, like that will help (picture T-Wolves Mark Madsen, forearm on Shaq’s back, his body at a 45 degree angle to the ground…yeah…), he’s just not that good. He played seven years as a Knick when I lived in NY, and let me tell you, we were not fans. We got to hear every game how he was the last collegiate athlete to lead the nation in both scoring and rebounding (at TCU…whatever…) , expected him to do something…and were repeatedly disappointed. The man averages 9 and 7, with less than a block, steal, and barely an assist per game. Hardly an impact player. (See picture of him trying to guard a real center at left).

Bottom line? TC will destroy him. Unless of course Pop wises up and puts him on West, who will then destroy him. Meanwhile, I would expect TC and West to combine to slow down Duncan. Prediction? TC will have a huge game, but the outcome will be determined by Peja and Mo’s shooting compared to the Bees ability to stop Ginobli and Parker.

I’ll be the one under the big blue sign screaming the whole game for them. Go guys!

In which I make some predictions for the game, almost none of which are basketball related. (I told you I have a talent.)

• How many beers will ticktock6 consume at the season ticketholder Beer Garden before her fingers fall off from the cold? Well, folks, we’re asking the tough questions tonight. I’m going to go with 3.
• Will D West’s bench-sitting outfit involve colors besides black or gray? Are you new?
• Will the Back Row Believes sign get on the jumbotron, despite being the awesomest sign in the New Orleans Arena? No. Those people hate on the back row like nobody’s business.
• Will Super Hugo drop kick the basketball into ANY SECTION BESIDES 101? Hell no. This is a serious number based on actual statistical analysis of all home games this season.
• Will Birdman dress? No.
• How many CP-TC alley oops tonight? My guess is six.

41-19 looks pretty. Put that up again.

41-19.

Ready for some more of that?

41-19.

Cold.

There are some… who may find this excessive.

I’m not saying I’m one of them, necessarily. I’m just saying there are some.

(via ESPN the Mag)

Plus, the impending end to the Punk Ass Attendance Clause sooner than we think? In an interview on ABC26, Shinn said he and Ron Forman hoped to hammer out a new deal with the state in the next 10 weeks. Relevant thread here.

Oh wow. How much fun was that game? How much more Julian Wright can we get? Correct answer: there is never too much Julian Wright!

Hornets 116, Hawks 101.

How did I love that game? Let me count the ways.

But first. Birdman sighting on the bench. Accompanied by Bonzi (he remembered to wear clothes!) and D West (even when supposedly dressed up, he’s wearing what looks suspiciously like his usual black shirt and sweats. Were they… dare I say it… dress sweats?)

• Ryan Bowen gets the start… and two nifty steals. And HUGE RANDOM WHITE GUY DUNKS.
• We didn’t think we shot 15 3-pointers and tied a franchise record. I mean, we knew the Hornets made a bunch, but I think it’s not that they took any more than usual… they just lit them up. I did notice we didn’t have a whole lot of those “ILL ADVISED THREE- WHY WHY WHY?” moments.
• The other night the Knicks had the gall to bust out a fake Chandler. Tonight we’ve got the poor man’s West.
• Fourth Quarter. Stupid DanceCam. But wait! They’re dragging out a ladder. There’s apparently something wrong with the net, and it takes a huuuuuuge timeout to fix it. This means… extended DanceCam!
• Hilarity is about to ensue.
• Hilton Armstrong, seemingly chill with his recent benching, keeps popping off the bench and dancing around. I keep wondering aloud when they’re going to start going there with the camera. Because come on. It’s fun just begging to happen. GO THERE, arena people.
• Dude in a suit and tie up in one of the boxes dancing. I think he’s totally a plant, because haven’t we seen that guy before?
• Finally they go to the bench, where Hilton, Julian, and CP are sitting in a row. JuJu is persuaded to get up and “Jump On It.” He dances. The crowd goes crazy. The players fall over laughing.
• The woeful Hawks were even good sports about the silliness, though at this point they’re behind 99-82. At one point, they put the Kiss Cam on Josh Childress and Tyson Chandler. Tyson is sort of standing there smiling up at it and shaking his head, and Childress sees the camera, sticks his tongue out, and lunges toward him. AWESOME.
• The Hornets’ players who are waiting at the scorers’ table to go on the floor, tired of playing with the camera, start shooting the ball around in a circle with each other. Pargo’s dribbling around his legs and over the back and doing all sorts of crazy shit. Mike James spins the ball on his finger for a good long time, and Tyson passes to a little kid courtside, and the kid passes back.
• Julian Wright dunk + Sportscenter = Meant to Be.
• Tyson Chandler: 16 rebounds, 11 of which are offensive. Do you think Atlanta is sitting there tonight thinking they’re missing, let’s see… souls?
• WTF, LeBron. Why you gotta crap all over CP3’s MVP fun like that?
• CrowdWatch: 12, 430. Attendance was crap. But who cares? They missed out.
• I just wrote an NBA recap that included approximately 2% actual basketball! Everyone’s got a talent.

Why you may ask? This team is 24-34, barely able to stay afloat in the Leastern Conference. Is it possible ROY Al Horford? No.  Is it trade deadline acquisition Mike Bibby? No.  It is because of the season ticket image.  Notice, to the side of this post an image of said ticket, featuring Byron Scott.  This season Byron has signalled the apocalypse like nearly no other, with the Hornets going 1-2 in games when he is on the ticket.  Only Mo-Pete signals similar doom (also 1-2).  

For those season ticket holders out there, at this point, we’re rooting for D-West to be on the ticket, to which the Hornets are an unstoppable 4-0. No one would compalin if Peja was on the ticket, when we’re 3-1. Not to be too far outdone, the Bees are 5-2 if CP is on the ticket and 5-3 if Tyson is on the ticket. And what may be most symbolic of this year, when all five of the starters are on the ticket, we are undefeated at 1-0.

These are all things that may concern whoever comes up with what to put on the tickets come playoff time. But in the meantime, watch out for those Hawks.

Well, it’s official. The NBA and the National Basketball Players Association today granted the request of Chris Andersen to be reinstated as an NBA player. According to Nola.com, Hornets General Manager Jeff Bower said: “We will now begin the process of getting him back on the court and back in a Hornets uniform as quickly as possible.” Which means provided that Anderson passes a physical, he’s going to be a Hornet again. But by all accounts, Anderson has kept in good shape, so the odds look good.

This is exactly what the Hornets were hoping for when the rest of the conference starting running at big men. Despite not playing in two years, he knows Coach Scott’s system, fits in it well, and the Coach loves him. He’s like someone with Bowen’s hustle, West’s moxie, and Armstrong’s physical build. He’s eight to ten years younger than guys like P.J. Brown or Shaq, while more agile and talented that others bigs we’ve seen moving around the league lately like Diop, Collins (Jason), Magloire, Mbenga, Ratliff, Thomas (Kurt), Brezec, or Johnson (Linton).

The HYPE is huge for this one!!!