Hornets Hype

Yeah, I got nothin’. Oh, except this.

AND OH HOLY SHIT. You know how you watch on TV when they pass out the Division Championship t-shirts and hats, and the team stands around hugging and watching the season highlight video, and it’s this moment you think you will never forget, and you can almost imagine you were there?

I was about four feet behind the bench.

And I was standing on my seat, and the usher didn’t even yell at me, and the guys were passing around the hats and putting them on, and everyone was smiling. And it was everything you thought it would be.

So this is what the top looks like.

In case you missed it, it was hilarious. Chris Paul, man… always says the right thing. And he’s so young. How lucky are the Hornets? No, seriously. How lucky? Interview also features D-West, Hilton Armstrong, Julian Wright, Rasual Butler, and Ryan Bowen goofing off in the first row, like they’ve never been on TV before.

I love the Hornets.

HornetsHype would like to send a shout out of congrats to Mr. Chris Paul, the MVP man himself, for displaying mad spelling prowess on top of his considerable balling skills.

They just did the “Year in Review” on Hornets Tonight, and they ran clips from the interviews CST has done with the players over the course of the season. Some funny, funny stuff there. The last question they always ask is, “If your car broke down and you had to call for help and spell the name of the street… how do you spell Tchoupitoulas?” I haven’t seen anyone get it right all season. Most of them just laugh and don’t even try. Or they go, “C-H-O-P-A… uh… T… uh… U-S?” Even the management staff couldn’t get it.

I gotta give Chris Paul a shout-out here. Surprisingly, he beat everyone else, only missing by one letter when he left out the second “U.” Nice spelling, CP3!

(Of course, out of all the Hornets, Chris Paul probably should have the best chance at knowing how to spell Tchoupitoulas Street, since he actually lives in the CBD.)

P.S. “The Crescent City Connection” is totally a better name for the CP-TC alley oop than the Big Easy, and I am endorsing its use here. Little bit of local color there! (For out of towners: The Crescent City Connection is the toll bridge connecting the East & West banks of the Mississippi. As in, “As I drove home over the Crescent City Connection, I daydreamed about all those flashy Crescent City Connections the Hornets were going to put up on the T-Wolves in the 1st quarter.” See how nice that works.)

It looks like the trip to Canada did wonders for Mo Pete. Although he only played 24 minutes, he was 2-4 from 3-point range and ended the night with 8. He was aggressive on defense and and got a warm reception from the Air Canada Centre crowd. Then he moved south with the team to Orlando. From the beginning of the game he was hot. Mo ended up leading the Hornets with 19 points, his most since January, on 7-9 shooting overall and 5-6 from 3-point range. In his 32 minutes, he also pulled down 6 rebounds and was hustling on both ends of the floor.

Down the stretch is was Peja’s big shot that put the team ahead, but we wouldn’t even have been in striking distance if it wasn’t for Mo. He made shots throughout the game and kept the team floating when the rest were struggling to hit shots.  So keep it up Mo.  We here at Hornets Hype have faith in you.  We know you are key to our playoff run.  When you’ve been great, so have the Hornets.

We believe.

Hypemeter:  wicked high, after a gut-wrenching series of runs back and forth, the fourth quarter was edge-of-your-seat entertainment, culminating in a huge Hornets’ win!

I have decided to be positive following last night’s loss to the Celtics. The Hornets are 2-1 on the road trip, and are tied with San Antonio for first place (though ahead percentage-wise). The Lakers suffered another egregious loss to a subpar team, which means we can all make ourselves feel a little bit better by laughing at them, because at least we lost to Boston.

Anyway, going back to the title of this post, I love things that are free. Man. I really do. Ask my boyfriend. We had this discussion during the Hornets’ recent homestand.

ticktock6: We have to remember to bring our free appetizer coupon for Gordon Biersch.

mW: I thought you said you weren’t hungry.

ticktock6: Well, yeah, but it’s free.

mW: That has nothing to do with anything. If you’re not hungry, then you don’t need to eat.

ticktock6: But it’s free.

mW: I will never understand how you weigh what you do.

ticktock6: Look, no. I don’t think you are really understanding the concept here. IT’S. FREE. If we go to Gordon Biersch, we will absolutely buy two beers. That will cost $10. If you spend $10 you get a free appetizer if you bring your program. Why would we not get it? It’s a waste of free food not to get it. Freeeeeee!

mW: Because you’re not hungry?

ticktock6: I’m hungry if it’s free.

mW: …..

We have four home games left in the regular season. I can’t believe I just typed that. But. There’s some pretty cool stuff coming up on the promotional schedule, if you’re a local fan and you want to score free Hornets loot. Check it out:

April 4th Hornets vs. Knicks: Honeybee night. Everyone gets a free Honeybee poster. Me? I give this one a big huge WHAT-EV (hey, how about Tyson Chandler posters for all the ladies in attendance, am I right? am I right?), but I’m sure there are people who care. (Dude. Fantastic moment of last night’s watch party at Bruno’s. The Honeybee throws Hornets beads to everyone on the right side of me. Then she stops at me, the only girl at the table. THEN she turns around, opens another bag, and tosses them to the rest of our table, starting with mW on the left side of me. OK, Honeybees, it may be true that I am slightly cuter than some of you, but believe me, I am not competition. If you saw me dance, you would know this is a fact.)

April 6th Hornets vs. Warriors: Chris Paul bobblehead (first 10,000 fans). Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I am willing to forgo the free beer to get this bobblehead.

April 8th Hornets vs. Jazz: Peja Stojakovic bobblehead (first 8,000 fans) And then I can put him next to Tyson and CP3 on my mantelpiece and arrange tastefully themed decorations around them and place them in entertaining poses together and they will look happy and my life will be much enriched. MUST HAVE.

April 15th Hornets vs. Clippers: Team poster to everyone in attendance.

Also, there are Buzzfests for all four home games left on the schedule. Yes, even the Sunday 4/6 game that got moved to noon, for which the beer is going to start at 10:00 AM, so come ready with your drinking hat on. I don’t really have a drinking hat, but you know, just in case you do…

I had to do the beat myself in my living room. How could you not?

The past three games since returning from the ankle:

35-16

37-4

23-11

And a grand total of 25/27 at the free throw line.

Who’s a star now?

(There is no point to this post. I just really like the picture.)

In the words of the opposing coach, Doc Rivers, “David West single-handedly destroyed us.” You taking note, Rafer Alston? Those of us in the Big Easy have known all year that D-West deserved his All-Star spot. And last night he proved it big-time. Many people have called for Garnett to get the Defensive Player of the Year award, especially if he misses out on the MVP. Well, tonight, D-West said otherwise, putting up 37 points on Boston’s big man.

Hornets’ coach Byron Scott called it a “quiet” 37, which it was, because until we looked up at the player of the game stats, we had no idea he had scored that many. But this is why David is so crucial to the Hornets. When we struggle with perimeter shooting, David offers an alternative: able to just plug away and hammer the paint points. He’s done it to the best in the West, and now he’s done it to the best in the East. He’s like a force of nature, and he’s going to carry us in the playoffs.

Don’t get me wrong, I love CP and Peja, and all the rest, but when it comes to the solid, easy, punishing points and drawing fouls, West is the man. David West.

1. I didn’t like the trade. I heard the dude was mad crazy.

The Hornets have great chemistry, and they genuinely seem to enjoy being around each other, and I was worried that that would get messed up when you integrate a guy who’s been a locker room problem. Then he got here and played with good flashes, but appeared generally out of sync. Played aggressively, but took some junky shots. Then he got injured. Then he wasn’t on the bench because he “forgot to bring clothes that went with the dress code,” which we thought might be secret code for, “Seriously? Are you in B. Scott’s doghouse already? You just got here!” Then he was injured some more.

This week we have Bonziiiii. He outscored the Rockets 20-10 in the fourth quarter. And you know, after the Spurs game last week it occurred to me that if he’s an asshole, then the Hornets just might need an asshole. For instance, I am already starting to trust him to regulate if he’s on the floor and someone pushes Chris Paul around. He might get all up in the shooter’s face on D, he might gnaw someone’s leg off. He just has this crazy glint in his eye. You know what I’m talking about.

2. Please tell me someone else thinks the Jumbotron cartoon they debuted at last night’s game is the pure drug-induced fun I think it is.

I will describe it. First, the official headshot the Hornets use for Bonzi Wells is hilarious to begin with. His eyes are half-closed. He isn’t smiling. He’s wearing a headband, but you can’t see his head over the top of it because his head’s sort of tilted back. So it may be a turban. He may be high. It may, in fact, be an actual mugshot. No one knows.

So. Some interns in the Hornets’ office got high this week and decided Bonzi’s emergence needs to be celebrated by a fun Jumbotron graphic they can roll out when he scores. I will endeavor to do it justice.

First there is a bonsai tree. Yes, a little green cartoon tree. Which says BONZI over it in Japanese-esque lettering. Then they pop up his headshot. It starts really small, then it spins, growing bigger and bigger until it fills up the screen. This would be way less funny if it wasn’t a headshot that has the ability to SCARE SMALL CHILDREN.

I swear, this thing kills me. I laughed so hard.

3. When the team came back from halftime, I saw him standing near the bench chatting with the suit-clad Rasual Butler and downing a Red Bull.

Practice? Bonzi don’t need no practice. He needs Red Bull, bitches.

So, Tyson Chandler, Chris Paul, and an elephant walk into a bar…

Just kidding. It’s Tyson Chandler, CP3, and an elephant. It’s already funny just on principle.

Hey guys, is that an elephant in the room? Oh OK, it’s just the Lakers game tonight. NO BIG DEAL or anything.

Go Hornets! The BUZZ is in full force!

Okay, there’s been a lot of TC-bashing in certain Hornets forums lately. Not doing enough of this or that…boo-hoo. The man is AVERAGING 12 and 12 in the basket and on the boards, adding a block and an assist, with a steal every other game. Funny how people see that Shaq gets 11 and 11 the other night and think this is good. Not to mention that TC is only 25, and thus still growing into his game. Could he work on his defense a little? Sure. Do we wish the man got more blocks? Sure. But I also wish CP averaged 40-20-10-10 and Peja averaged 15 three pointers a game. Guess what? Yeah. Not gonna happen.

The key question is how does TC contribute to victories? The fact is that most complaints about his D are about his help on penetrating guards. He’s done a pretty good job this year straight up. And while the question of whether he is an All-Star depends on how he can guard the Shaqs, Howards, and Yaos, the question of whether TC will have a monster game is often about the center, not the team. For example, without a dominant center, he probably would have done great against MJ’s Bulls, even though the Bees would have lost out. Like tonight, who can say who will win against the Spurs, but with 6′9″ Kurt Thomas listed as their starting center (pictured, getting rejected by a shooting guard, left), expect TC to have a big game.

I’ve yet to understand the love crush critics have on Kurt Thomas. He is at best mediocre. Besides the fact that I can’t stand teams that insist on putting 6′8″ or 6′9″ guys, even with bulk, at center, like that will help (picture T-Wolves Mark Madsen, forearm on Shaq’s back, his body at a 45 degree angle to the ground…yeah…), he’s just not that good. He played seven years as a Knick when I lived in NY, and let me tell you, we were not fans. We got to hear every game how he was the last collegiate athlete to lead the nation in both scoring and rebounding (at TCU…whatever…) , expected him to do something…and were repeatedly disappointed. The man averages 9 and 7, with less than a block, steal, and barely an assist per game. Hardly an impact player. (See picture of him trying to guard a real center at left).

Bottom line? TC will destroy him. Unless of course Pop wises up and puts him on West, who will then destroy him. Meanwhile, I would expect TC and West to combine to slow down Duncan. Prediction? TC will have a huge game, but the outcome will be determined by Peja and Mo’s shooting compared to the Bees ability to stop Ginobli and Parker.

I’ll be the one under the big blue sign screaming the whole game for them. Go guys!