In a basement. In our pajamas.
By ticktock6 on April 4, 2009
Why? Because I’m your host, and I’m female. Why not?
This is the second half of the Sweet Sixteen. If you missed the first half, you can still vote in it right here. Check here for the rules. And you can review the action that went down in Division 1, Division 2, Division 3, and Division 4 of Round One. Hotness after the jump!
By ticktock6 on April 1, 2009
Why? Because I’m your host, and I’m female. Why not?
All right, we’re into the second round. Which means all the completely unfortunate-looking teams are gone. Well, most of them anyway (yeah, Spurs, I’m looking your way). Check here for the rules. And you can review the action that went down in Division 1, Division 2, Division 3, and Division 4 of Round One. The Sweet Sixteen tips off after the jump. Get your voting on!
By ticktock6 on March 27, 2009
The guys have the NBA Dance Team Bracket. This is for the ladies.
Here’s our third set of first round matchups. Rules are here. You can still vote in Division 1 here, and Division 2 here! Voting is going to stay open until the end of the round (Monday), which is split up into four divisions. Unless votes change dramatically, we haven’t had a single upset yet. Which is weird, considering the seeding is based on record, not hotness. But that’s going to change. Today we’ve got four matchups in the Diaw division.
By mW on February 23, 2009
As many of you all know, TT6 and I have been busy during Mardi Gras, parading, carousing, and such. Plenty of celebrities in town. Kid Rock pointed at us. We caught beads and doubloons from Val Kilmer. But our biggest surprise was meeting Axl Rose and his mate, Buckethead, and finding out that Axl is a huge basketball fan, who despite calling L.A. home, knew a lot about the Hornets, and the NBA in general. It was obvious he’d been out partying a bit, but was interesting, nonetheless. Here’s how it went:
Hornets Hype: so you say you’ve watched several Hornets games this seasor. Do you feel like our team is underachieving?
Axl Rose: They’re Scraped. Some may convince you no one can break through; I’m here to tell you you’re worth more than they tell you.
Hornets Hype: I agree. I agree. What about this whole Tyson Chandler trade thing? Any comment on that?
Axl Rose: You’ll be Better. [Swaying a bit.] So bittersweet this tragedy; won’t ask for absolution. A twist of faith, a change of heart, . . . a broken heart provides the spark for . . . determination.
Hornets Hype: Yeah, I think TC will come back strong too. How about that Chris Paul? Can you believe he wasn’t MVP last year, or being given more consideration this year for the same? Do you think he thinks about that?
Axl Rose: Shackler’s Revenge, man. CP got a wicked demon, his hunger never fades.
Hornets Hype: Okay. Sure. Can you believe he almost didn’t start the All-Star Game this year?
Axl Rose: Chinese Democracy. It don’t really matter. Gonna find out for yourself.
Hornets Hype: Umm, right, so he looked great in that game, though, right?
Axl Rose: If The World. If the world would end today and all the dreams we had would all just drift away, you know there’s nothing more to say.
Hornets Hype: [Hand over mike, muffled voices.] Enjoying Mardi Gras, Axl?
Axl Rose: Sorry. You don’t know why I won’t act the way you think I should.
Hornets Hype: What?
Axl Rose: Riad N’ The Bedouins. Had a plan and thought they’d win. But I don’t give a fuck ’bout them cause I am crazy.
Hornets Hype: Well, any more thoughts about the NBA, maybe? You know, the Lakers? How do the we stop them come playoffs time?
Axl Rose: I.R.S. Gonna call the IRS…read it baby with your morning new, with a sweet hangover, and the headlines too.
Hornets Hype: you’re suggesting the Lakers don’t pay their taxes. Or maybe Phil? Seriously? Any on-court suggestions?
Axl Rose: [Does slithering snake-like move.]
Hornets Hype: What do you think of Lebron? Everyone likes to talk about him.
Axl Rose: Prostitute. Oh I got a message for you. Up and away. It’s what I gotta do.
Hornets Hype: Well thanks for talking, I guess. Any parting thoughts?
Axl Rose: Patience. Anything Goes. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.
Hornets Hype: Okay. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And that was it. Axl and Buckethead walked away after that. Buckethead was wearing a Popeye’s bucket on his head for the occasion, not the regular KFC one. Peace out. Beat the Kings!
By ticktock6 on February 9, 2009
You are right. I am wrong. The Hornets are the Dirtiest! Basketball! Team! Ever! Assembled! There has never in the history of basketball been such a conglomeration of cheap, dirty players on one team. You don’t even have to argue with me. I’m conceding! I even included video proof.
I really don’t even know how I can follow this team and still respect myself in the morning. A Flagrant 2 doesn’t even reflect how dirty the Hornets are, from that little punk Chris Paul to that big punk David West and right on down. They should invent the Flagrant 7 JUST FOR THIS TEAM. Yup. You all are totally right, O Anonymous Internet Commenters. You have converted me. You are wise.
Now will you shut up?
Haters. 
By ticktock6 on February 4, 2009
In these dark times, what’s better than the Hornets singing Good Times?
I think you’ll all agree, with the exception of if Chris Paul was playing tonight, nothing.
Oh, and in other pregame linkage, Ticktock6 does some Hornets Q&A on Talk Hoops.
Good luck tonight AD! … We out.
By ticktock6 on February 2, 2009
The last we heard from Bonzi Wells, he was putting up 52 points in China for $40K a year and some egg rolls. There were rumors that Chinese fans referred to him as “His Majesty,” the best player to grace the Chinese Basketball Association.
On January 12, we learn that they play the Hallelujah chorus when he dunks. No, I didn’t make that up. When have I ever made stuff like that up? … Oh, OK. But regardless, this time I’m not:
In the final period, the 1.96-metre (six-foot-five-inch) guard/forward repeatedly played off the screens of his Nigerian teammate Olumide Oyedeji to beat his defender and race down the lane for slam dunks. That’s when the public address system blared a five-second snippet of Handel’s Hallelujah chorus as the frenzied crowd — few of whom were likely to know the classic’s homage to the resurrection of Christ — stood and cheered.
“In all my years, I have never heard the Hallelujah chorus at a basketball game,” Shanxi’s American coach Bob Weiss, formerly of the National Basketball Association’s Seattle Supersonics, told AFP.
AND he was going to be on the cover of China’s version of Sports Illustrated:
After going through a strategy session at a practice last week, Wells spent the rest of the afternoon at a photo shoot for the Chinese edition of Sports Illustrated magazine. Wells is expected to grace the cover of the magazine for its Chinese New Year’s edition — an impressive accomplishment for a new comer to the country.
But wait, hold the presses, because last week Shanxi Zhongyu apparently sacked Wells when he never came back from vacation.
“He should have come back to the club on January 30, but he did not,” said the man, who declined to be named. According to a statement posted on Zhongyu’s website over the weekend, Wells — who was dogged by troublesome on-court behaviour and run-ins with coaches during his 10-year NBA career — went home for a holiday last month. He was meant to come back on January 27, but asked for a two-day extension to “attend to some personal matters,” the statement said.
On January 29, he asked for another extension, which the club agreed to as long as he came back in time for a weekend match. Wells, however, still failed to return, prompting the cancellation of his one-year contract.
Wait, what? HAHAHA! Hey, guys, maybe we should sign him.
And while he’s at it, he could bring me an egg roll. ‘Cause I got all this leftover Chinese in my fridge right now but no egg rolls.
By ticktock6 on January 22, 2009
By ticktock6 on January 16, 2009
Good vs. Evil.
Humans vs. Robots.
The followup to a huge cliffhanger about the nature of existence, the deep and tantalizing question of who we really are and what we want to become.
Two stars collide on your television tonight.
I’m talking about the Hornets breezing into Cleveland tonight, where the Cavs are 19-0 on the season, in a nationally televised game on ESPN, right?
Sigh.
Y’all. This is a very serious crisis. The final season premiere of Battlestar Galactica is tonight at 9 PM. But the Hornets play the Cavaliers at 7 PM.
Of course I’m going to DVR the show and watch the game. I was always going to record the show and watch the game. Even though I have been watching the show longer than I have been watching the NBA. You know I have loyalty to the Hornets… Except I just read today that a character who’s been on the show since the miniseries is going to die, and they might reveal the final Cylon. Guys, they finally found Earth in last year’s finale. Only it was a nuclear wasteland. And then that’s how it ended. Oh my gods. HOW CAN I NOT WATCH THIS SHOW?
I decided the reasonable thing is to look at what’s at stake tonight. The Battlestar Galactica premiere may answer some of our questions about the future! Or, it may raise more questions than it answers! We don’t know what’s going to happen. It may set the stage for the rest of the season, for all that comes after! It’s important.
But the same things can be said about Hornets/Cavs. Crap!
Sometimes I guess you have to make a choice about what is more important. But all I’m saying is, if they even closeup on LeBron clapping chalk, I’m gonna flip to SciFi. I’m JUST SAYING.
I think we all suspect, after Wednesday’s casually superhuman performance, who the final Cylon’s going to turn out to be anyway…
By mW on January 13, 2009
While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, TT6 jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, She’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And TT6 is a woman of her word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.
This is the transcript of a maybe real interview of James Posey by NBATV’s Rick Kamla, from last night, after the Knicks-Hornets game.
Rick: [In the studio] So I’m here with James Posey, one of the key 6th men in the NBA this year or any other. How are you Pose?
Pose: [Headphones on somewhere in the Hive] Cold. [Shivers.] I moved here for the warmth, man. The warmth. What, it’s like 42 degrees up in this, um, piece.
Rick: Posey, as many of you know was instrumental in the NBA Championship runs during 2 of the last 3 years, first with Miami and then with Beantown. How do you do it, Mr. Posey?
Pose: I’m like the Robert Horry of the Eastern Conference.
Rick: Well, you’re in the Western Conference now. Dominant still?
Pose: Of course, of course.
Rick: If you had signed with my T-Wolves this year instead of the Hornets, do you think my Wolves would be playing in June this year?
Pose: No doubt. And McHale would be GM of the year.
Rick: Right. Ha, great to hear, man. I would’ve loved that. But onto this year with the Hornets, you are looking great and have been hitting clutch shots and game-winners all year!
Pose: Was that a question?
Rick: Nope, just saying you’re the man.
Pose: That’s right.
Rick: But now onto last night. In New Orleans, playing the lowly Knicks, and you were only 1-4 overall and 0-2 from deep. What’s up with that?
Pose: I had five rebounds and a steal, man, you see that?
Rick: I did, but I also saw you getting run around by Wilson Chandler. Do you feel like you’ve lost a step, or were you just maybe looking past this game and ahead to the upcoming road trip?
Pose: …..
Rick: Not trying to bust on you, just wondering how a good defensive team like the Hornets struggled against the Knicks?
Pose: [Pulls off headset and steps off camera.]
Rick: Um, are we having a technical problem here? Is James still there? [Holds hand to his earpiece.] Well folks, we’re not sure what happened to — [eyes go wide in shock] — what the?!?
Pose: [In the NBATV studio Posey commits a Flagrant 2 Foul on Rick Kamla, knocking him from his seat and onto the floor.] How you like my defense now? [The cameras switch and we can see Rick on his back, Posey standing over him.]
Rick: [In shock] How the hell did you get from New Orleans to Atlanta in just seconds?!
Pose: [Looking angry] I can travel instantaneously through a little thing I call the Dark Dimension. Did you say I lost a step?
Rick: [Still on his back] No way. Quick as ever. Plus, you’re defintely the baddest player in the NBA, James Posey.
Pose: Yeah. You better remember that when you cover my Bees on this road trip. [Fakes head bob toward Rick, who flinches.] Or I’ll be back.
Rick: Definitely won’t forget.
Pose: [Steps into suddenly appearing Dark portal and enters another dimension.]
Rick: [Climbs back into his seat and adjusts his mic. The camera returns to the normal studio angle.] Well, there you have it. James Posey. Straight from the Dark Dimension. One hell of a defender, who is not afraid to put his critics on their backs. We’ll return after a short commercial break and some treatment on my back.