Hornets Hype

Tyson is a man who has destroyed lesser competition this year and tonight was no different. Miami’s frontcourt, apparently made up of actual NBA players, had no answer for the Bees’ big man. He ended up with 20 points on 10/10 shooting, with 10 rebounds thrown in for giggles. The only disappointing thing is that he had I think 14 at halftime and didn’t even take a shot in the third. Oh well. Much love TC.

….

ticktock6: Is Bonzi chewing gum?

mW: Lots of players chew gum.

ticktock6: You think he was blowing bubbles on the floor when they were playing the Celtics? I’m just saying.

mW: I’m not going to answer that question.

34-19 in the 2nd.

….

Oh god. Gil and Bob discussing buying teal seersucker suits for the playoffs. And I think they’re serious.

The Heat closed for a short time but then the Hornets started playing again.

91-70 in the 4th.

….

LOL at Tyson swinging a towel in circles on the bench and hitting himself in the eye with it. They are gonna show that clip all night. When CST latches onto something, they do not let it go. That shit was made for YouTube.

Plus we actually missed the last minute of play or so because CST thought Chris Paul tossing autographed sneakers into the crowd and other bench hijink was more interesting than the game . . . ummm . . . (sudden silence)

106-77 Final.

….

ESPN, apropos of nothing, during Mavs/Warriors game just now:

“How about the New Orleans Hornets? Wow… blah blah… 52-22… can’t see them finishing out of the Top 2… just a great team… 30 games over .500… great record against the Western Conference too… oh, and Dirk just scored.”

YES, HOW ABOUT THE NEW ORLEANS HORNETS!!!

I have seen enough to know that my job here is done.

Quote of the Night:

[while watching NBATV cover every game in progress between every scrub team in the NBA]

“Where is our game? I don’t get it. We know they love to suck LeBron’s dick… Maybe they’re embarrassed because he prematurely ejaculated tonight.”

- mW, referring to LeBron inexplicably driving to the basket and leaving 7 entire seconds for the Hornets to get the ball and win the game

Sometimes I sit at night and wonder what would make the Hornets a better team in the Western Conference.

And then it came to me in a flash of inspiration.

So, Tyson Chandler, Chris Paul, and an elephant walk into a bar…

Just kidding. It’s Tyson Chandler, CP3, and an elephant. It’s already funny just on principle.

Hey guys, is that an elephant in the room? Oh OK, it’s just the Lakers game tonight. NO BIG DEAL or anything.

Go Hornets! The BUZZ is in full force!

In which I make some predictions for the game, almost none of which are basketball related. (I told you I have a talent.)

• How many beers will ticktock6 consume at the season ticketholder Beer Garden before her fingers fall off from the cold? Well, folks, we’re asking the tough questions tonight. I’m going to go with 3.
• Will D West’s bench-sitting outfit involve colors besides black or gray? Are you new?
• Will the Back Row Believes sign get on the jumbotron, despite being the awesomest sign in the New Orleans Arena? No. Those people hate on the back row like nobody’s business.
• Will Super Hugo drop kick the basketball into ANY SECTION BESIDES 101? Hell no. This is a serious number based on actual statistical analysis of all home games this season.
• Will Birdman dress? No.
• How many CP-TC alley oops tonight? My guess is six.

41-19 looks pretty. Put that up again.

41-19.

Ready for some more of that?

41-19.

Cold.

Mike W: Look how ridiculous this looks.

Ticktock6: What?

Mike W: I can’t figure out what this giant thing is on his shoulder. I swear to god, it’s gotten bigger since he got it.

Ticktock6: Oh, I thought it was just a band aid.

Mike W: Me too! But I swear, it has grown! I mean, what is it? At first I thought it was, like, an injury. Or maybe it’s covering a really inappropriate tattoo or something. Is it a tumor? Why is it so huge? Does he have a magic rock taped to his shoulder? For good luck?

Ticktock6: (dies)

Mike W: Well, it must work, because he’s the best player on their team.

Ticktock 6: MAGIC ROCK AHAHAHAHAHA!

Mike W: Did you just see that Jeffries guy? Is that guy homeless? No, seriously. Why is this guy’s hair all lopsided and scraggly? He looks all emaciated. Do you know how much money this guy saves, making millions of dollars and living on the streets? If we lose to these freaks with their homeless dude, their midget, and their magic rock… I’m going to cry.

A curse on DS — errk — magic balls small rims, tinted windows dark frowns in dark cars buses or planes are apples coming?? — ggrkhh — blowing on fingers, steam rising from quarterly data fourth after affect times 2.75 — zzzaaas — malfunction — blog error….

Conseq lossez to Whizz — peep — does not compute — voodoo data stream corrupted /// rite error spell error hype error ::: does not compute!?!

REBOOTING BLOG