Hornets Hype

Kelly Dwyer on Ball Don’t Lie:

These guys are really, truly, giving great effort. Jeff Bower has been the coach of the Hornets for about four months, and he’s had Chris Paul(notes) on hand for less than half that time, and yet he’s had this team playing .500 ball in the West. It’s a phenomenal accomplishment, because more than any other team with any other player, the ball really rolls right off the table once you take Paul away. Bruce Sutter-styled dropoff, my man.

But the Hornets worked their way back. These two rookies are unflappable, Darren Collison(notes) might be a bit excitable, but Marcus Thornton(notes) is as cool as … geez, don’t touch that! That’s freezing. Damn.

When are we going to start considering this kid for the Sixth Man Award?

And speaking of dropoff, after Collison, on the Hornet bench? Darius Songaila(notes), and Aaron Gray(notes). Every opposing announcing duo laughs at Gray when he comes off the bench. Seriously. Every one.

The Hornets are always there, though. So much respect for this team. Give ‘em a watch if you can.

I’m really glad someone else (besides our little band of Hornets fans) sees this. I know we’ve lost, what, eight out of the last ten, and it’s hard to get used to the losing. But damned if I’m not having so much more fun watching this team lose than watching last year’s group of disappointed vets. I’m now truly at the point where Thornton and Collison are worth the price of admission, and don’t look now but David West has actually done a pretty good job leading this team lately.

Marcus Buckets gettin more buckets

6th Man of the Year, though? I’m happy someone brought this up, although just like the rookie honors, I think we can blame Byron Scott for blowing Thornton’s chances early. From every indication, from LSU to summer league (led all rookies in scoring) to preseason (outplayed Devin Brown and Morris Peterson yet unfairly was the guy starting the year in a suit), he could have been doing this all along for the Hornets given the opportunity. However. For your consideration:

Buckets Post-All Star Break

30 minutes
21.5 points
4.2 rebounds
47.2% shooting … FROM THREE
48.5% overall
1.5 assists, 1.5 TOs, 1.1 steals
All off the bench

I think I speak for us all when I say, “Eeep.”

The Hornets May Have Won the Battle But Lost the War– a post on the Dime blog about the Hornets salary moves. With input from me, Hornets 247, and At the Hive. Oh, and Bonus!Ranty Comments by me, I guess. Sorry about that. This is one of my very favorite topics for ranting, as you well know. But props to Dime. Noticed how they went and actually asked Hornets media & blogs. Amazing concept, that.

New Orleans rookie Marcus Thornton seizing the moment– According to the TP, there are rumors (which he denies) that Marcus Thornton told some kids at LSU over the summer he’d be starting by midseason. Ha. I said so too. Guess we’re both right.

Buckets doesn’t make the Rookie Team — kinda lame but not surprising. He’s averaging 9.7 pts-2 rebs on 43% shooting in 19 minutes, way less than the minutes some of those kids are getting to put up their numbers. I wasn’t that impressed with either Flynn or Curry (ugh, watch me say that and he goes off on us tonight, haha). I mean, you can’t really argue with any of the rookies who made it, but I will say it’s too bad Byron Scott hurt Thornton’s chances by not playing him early. I wonder, though, if it’s harder to make a team like this as a pure scorer– even a very efficient one– when you’re not putting up significant numbers in any other categories. All those point guards have numbers in the assists column too. Marcus’ stats per 36 are 18.2 pts-3.7 rebs– some of those other kids already play 36 and aren’t close to that.

But! He’s #5 in the NBA.com Rookie Rankings this week! — Go figure.

This column from Mark Monteith at SI.com fails so hard at containing real facts (especially Okafor versus Chandler) and following a chronological timeline of what actually went down that it made me weep tears of pure sarcasm. Or wait, is that not possible? Try to spot the two places he  contradicts himself. Let’s make it a fun game!

And so do we, of course. I mean, we always have. It took me exactly one preseason game to become Marcus Thornton’s biggest internet fan. This kid is just flat out making this season fun to watch for me. But Lil Buckets got a lil press this week. Hoopsworld did a piece on him for their Life As A Rookie feature. Some quotes:

“I feel like I have to work harder than everybody else – go above and beyond what everybody else is doing – to maintain this role and not lose it.” – Marcus Thornton

“Thornton is a deadly shooter. He can really heat it up. I’ve seen him in one game get 32 and make like 5 threes.” – Tyreke Evans

He was also featured in this morning’s Times Picayune:

“He’s more than just a shooter, and we try to remind him of that. He can slash. He can get to the basket. He’s unbelievably athletic. We want him to show the world that. Don’t just show us that. Show everybody else that.” – Chris Paul

Thornton on busting out of his weeklong shooting slump last Friday night:  “That’s one of the things I’ve had to work on, if my shot is not going, to work on the other aspects of the game like rebounding, cutting to the goal, getting easy buckets so that my offense starts to generate. Once I started doing that (against the Kings) everything started flowing.”

Higher & higher, Buckets. We believe in you!

I’m sorry, did I miss something?

A screenshot of ESPN's front page last November

I thought Chris Paul hated Byron Scott. I thought this had been established. Like, mainstream established. I mean, I saw it on ESPN. They’ve been mentioning something about it every third day since last November. But then I get up and here are all these articles saying he’s terribly upset over Scott’s firing.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, PEOPLE?

Previously, on Lifestyles of a Small Market Team With a Top 5 Star Who Everyone Thinks Is Being Wasted In a Small City and Oh My God It’s So Horrible How Dare They Want a Star? Who Do They Think They Are, New York? … Bill Simmons went to a Clippers game in November 2008 and wrote his usual sports humor column. I’ll excerpt the relevant parts:

“The way players walk toward the bench after a timeout. (Goes one of three ways: “I’m interested to hear coach’s thoughts,” “I look forward to sitting down” or “Great, I get to listen to this bonehead again.”) How fast someone jumps up when the coach calls for them as a sub. (If they jump up fast, that means they’re totally in the game; if they jump up slow, that means they were either daydreaming about that night’s sexual conquest or imagining he’s punching the coach in the face.) Whether they listen or don’t listen in the huddle. The body language of the coach himself. And the telltale sign … what happens when a top player gets called over by coach when someone is shooting free throws.This can unfold one of three ways:

A. Player runs over respectfully and seems genuinely interested in the coach’s wisdom. Watch what happens when Popovich calls over Duncan or Parker in a Spurs game. Total respect. They look like someone jogging over to a police officer.

B. Player jogs over, doesn’t seem totally interested, but doesn’t want to seem like a jerk either. This usually sums up 75 percent of the league.

C. Player does a double-take and his head kicks back briefly (like he’s thinking, “Really, I have to talk to this guy again???”). He saunters over disdainfully. When he reaches the coach, he makes eye contact for the first two seconds, then starts subconsciously pulling away (first with his eyes, then with his body leaning back toward the coach), and at about the six-second mark, he just starts walking back toward the court whether the coach is finished talking or not. Everything about the exchange says, “I’ve just had it with this freaking guy.”

I mistakenly believed that Chris Paul and Scott had an “A” relationship but in the second half of Monday’s game, it was revealed that they were a “C.” At least right now. Translation: I am no longer sold on the 2009 Hornets.”

Basically, Simmons thought the Hornets as a team were in trouble– which turned out to be true– way back in the beginning of last season. I am back and forth on this. He went to one game, didn’t talk to any of the players, and just looked at body language. As a bench-watcher myself, I get that. I sit close enough to the Hornets bench (I’m not saying I sit low down, but I do sit on that end of the arena) that I can see who interacts with who, but unlike Bill Simmons, I see them for 41+ games a year. What he neglected to mention in his column, for instance, is that the game in question was at Staples Center back when the Clippers were abysmal and the Hornets were expected to contend in the Western Conference. The Hornets ended up winning that game, but they were down by around ten points for a big chunk of it, and understandably pissed about it. Simmons skipped over that part. That Byron Scott, by the end, had maybe lost David West and some of the Hornets is true. But it seems he never lost Chris Paul.

For his part, when this Simmons thing took off like wildfire through the articles and blogs, Chris Paul even came right out and told the media it wasn’t true. “I would think me and coach might have one of the best relationships out of the entire NBA. I guess people got to have something to talk about. Maybe he should come to a game. Let’s talk. If I had a problem with coach, I’d say it. I guess he comes to one game, and he can figure it out.” But of course, no mainstream media outlets ran with that story. It stayed buried halfway back in the sports pages of the New Orleans Times-Picayune.

Let’s be crystal clear here. My issue is not that Bill Simmons wrote an opinion column. My issue is that every mainstream media outlet and their mother, brother, and sister ran with it. “Sources say Chris Paul and Byron Scott are not seeing eye to eye.” “Reports are that Byron Scott has lost Chris Paul.” “Amid reports of conflict between Byron Scott and his star player…” Etc. It was in the Daily Dime. It was in the NBA Rumors section of every site. It was thrown in as a little parenthetical aside in articles about the Hornets losing games. My problem with it then is still my problem with it today: Bill Simmons is a guy who writes a humorous internet column. What he is not … is a source.

It’s also the selectivity of the headlines and news items that pisses me off. Simmons’ column was about the Hornets team chemistry as a whole, and it asked the question of whether they were tuning out their coach. I didn’t think it was true at the time– that was very early in the season, and the team would make a few more good runs before the season ended in rescinded trade drama, injuries, and a devastating playoff loss. Plus for every instance of the Hornets not looking like they liked each other, I had 41+ instances, personally witnessed, that told me they did. But most of the reports that pushed along Simmons’ observation and misrepresented it as fact, like a bizarre game of media telephone, weren’t worried about the rest of the Hornets team chemistry. Instead they saw the words “CHRIS PAUL” and “BYRON SCOTT’ and salivated, like wolves lunging for scraps of meat.

And here’s, really, why I’m such a big supporter of fan blogs, social media, and beat writers. In this age of the internet, when firsthand information about every team, observed by people who actually watch the games, is right here in my blogroll and my twitter feed, why should I trust these national aggregators of “news” and “rumors”, citing their “sources”, to tell me what I should believe? I haven’t included ESPN, with the exception of True Hoop, as a daily read since spring of 2008. To me, they’re a dinosaur. Don’t even get me started on the Associated Press, which will quote a blog or a Twitter account and not even put a link to it. Me, I want a trail of hypertext leading back to my source. Scratch that, I don’t just want it– I demand it.

And so today you will see the same mainstream media giants, whose team preview for the 2009-10 Hornets probably included a snippet about “if the Hornets can overcome the rumblings of friction between Chris Paul and Byron Scott,”  pound out columns. How could the Hornets do this to Chris Paul, fire the coach who was his best friend and father figure without telling him? How can a franchise be so small-time and clueless? Not a single one of them will mention how wrong they were about any of this.

Dolla dolla bills, y’all.

• ESPN’s Daily Dime – the usual. Except everyone seems to be mentioning that he smacked/kicked/whatever Al Harrington. Hello, that’s probably more a result of Harrington grabbing Chris around the leg than it is indicative of some deep, secret, frustrated desire to be out of New Orleans.
• At the Hive talks about Byron Scott’s lack of adjustments over the past two years and how this does not bode well for the future.
• Paul’s Frustration Grows, Even as he Hides It – Hornets are a mom and pop organization, Shinn is a liar for claiming credit for coming back after Katrina (we knew this), maybe Paul should start holding them to higher standards as a franchise player like Kobe and LeBron do.
• Dime: Chris Paul has lost his smile
• Frustration, losses mounting for Hornets’ Paul – Ken Berger has been a perennial Shit List resident in the past because of stupid factual errors, but I have to say I agree with him and his column is probably the best of the lot. No, not just ’cause he hit all  my major gripes and agreed with me. Well, maybe a little bit because of that…

“One of the best potential recipients of Paul’s assists, rookie Marcus Thornton, languishes on the bench because Byron Scott wants the team to defend first and score later. At this rate, though, there won’t be a later.

…On one hand, Paul says things will be fine — “It’s a long season,” he said — and in his next breath he laments that the Hornets are a team without a style. That’s code for “team with a stubborn coach.” Scott wants a rugged, defense-obsessed, insanely conditioned team. He wants this all the time, with no exceptions. But if a week goes by, and then a month, and it’s not working, he’ll have to try something else or he will lose the team”

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll come back later and add some commentary, but for now I’m not going to. Peja was on from deep, West and Okafor had 21+ points apiece, and CP had 32. We lost last night because our interior defense and teamwork was horrendously, eye-searingly awful, not because “ha ha the Hornets suck, who’s gonna score for them?” like a lot of the mainstream sources seem to think. It was already bad enough that New Orleans does a poor job of defending the three, but it was infinitely more excusable than allowing junky teams to get layup after layup. 4o points in the 4th quarter to the Knicks? And this is not the Bobby Browns of the team. (Well, it’s that too.) It’s the starting lineup.

Chris Paul wasn’t exchanging words with Tom Thibodeau the other night because he was pissed at Rondo. He was probably trying to smuggle him on the freaking plane.

But it still looks like Rondo started it. And if Chris Paul tried to follow anyone into locker rooms and had to be prevented by security, it’s not on this video. (This is from the Celtics’ feed, by the way, since CST didn’t show the end-of-the-game scuffle.) It looks like CP and Paul Pierce were talking when Rondo butted in and got up in Chris’ face. CP immediately sticks his hands in the air and backs up, talking the whole time. Pierce steps between the two, and meanwhile Eddie House grabs Rondo and hauls him off. And then a couple of seconds later, Devin Brown comes and drags CP off in the other direction and that appears to be the end of it.

Yawn. And there we have the genesis of yet another exaggerated headline featuring Chris Paul.

There are few certainties in this ever-changing world. Luckily we have NBA media day, which is pleasantly and reassuringly similar every year. We know that Peja will be the darkest he’ll be all year, players will be forced to pose all sorts of ridiculous and slightly awkward ways with a basketball– often two– and we know that David West will, at some point, manage to look extremely skeptical in a photograph, despite there being nothing apparent to be skeptical about.

Below are some of the highlights from yesterday’s posing party:

"Oh, they don't make CP take goofy pictures. Cause he's The Franchise." .... Okaaaaay, maybe not.

We really need to track the statistics this year on whether Peja shoots better in his dark half of the season or his pasty half. That stat sounds right about up our alley.

DWest works out some. Just a little.

I really want to caption this picture, but I think deep down we all know it would just be a dirty joke. So instead I will let you imagine what I would have said. And you are probably right.

No one really knows what is going on here.

WTF. Who would do this to Mo Pete's picture???

Here’s the clip of Chris Paul on Jimmy Fallon last night. Of course I stayed up for this, only to see Our Local Hero chat about his kids’ book for a couple of minutes and then play dodgeball in the NBC elevator bank. Yep, dodgeball. What’s funny (and yet sort of fittingly in character) is watch how CP gets the jump on his opponents at 00:31 by sneakily not going all the way back and touching the wall!

And in case you’re just hearing about it, here’s Chris’ book Long Shot: Never Too Small to Dream Big.

Well, that should get Google’s attention. Maybe even someone who follows basketball. Apparently, my breakdown of how Chris Paul’s numbers last season gave him one of the most historic point guard seasons ever, and which, incidentally, blew away Steve Nash’s two MVP seasons, is forgotten.  Some people, who don’t believe in small markets, are convinced the Hornets will finish no better than 7th this year, and that CP3 does not even get consideration, let alone a single vote, in the MVP category, though Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant do.  Crazy.  And people wonder why I disappear in the offseason.  People are so fucking ridiculous that they forget what the sport of basketball is and/or are so fucking bored that they just invent stories to keep themselves occupied.  Oooh… Stephon is insane, Rubio won’t come over, C.J. Watson only took a one year deal?!  Whatthefuckever.

Listen.  It’s not rocket science.  If you’ve ever watched basketball, it’s pretty fucking obvious that Chris Paul is a once-in-a-generation talent.  Quick, name the best players in the NBA.  If you didn’t say CP, Kobe, and one other person, then you’re a moron.  Yeah, yeah, freedom of choice, opinion, etc.  All that also includes the freedom to be wrong, to be a moron, and just plain ignorant.  Congratulations.  Sometimes I wish this country was a totalitarian state and they made everyone worship the players who had talent and heart (yeah, I’m talking to you Vince Carter), rather than just those that get the most attention.  At least it’d be a little more honest.

Sorry if I don’t drop to my knees and worship the capitalist propaganda that would make us believe the Knicks deserve a championship when they haven’t even put forth a team that resembles a professional unit since Allan Houston played for them and don’t bask in the glow of yet another Celtics-Lakers matchup when there are are 30 teams in the league with 30 equally laudable fanbases, or for that matter, drool at the mere mention of the “Chosen One”—a.k.a. the Nike whore or whoever makes the sponsors figure will make them the most money (um, Dwayne Wade?).  Call me an elitist, call me a purist, yeah, like those are bad things, but I appreciate the game of basketball.  I’ll follow the talent like Deep Throat said to follow the money.  And the media is complicit.  Already they’re putting it again as Kobe-LRJ for MVP and Celts-Lakeshow for the ring.  Fucking sad.  Unprecedented parity and they mouth the same shit?  Dimemag is one of the few that gets it.  They ask the hard questions.  Steve Nash (no offense, dude, I love your game), and Duncan (ditto) both have two MVPs, and Shaq one?  What the fuck?  Dime thought that weird.  Me too.  But I digress.  Dime also noticed that no one has truly appreciated  CP3’s greatness.  That the rest of the country isn’t onboard makes me want to drop a bunch of downers chased with beer like Hunter S. Thompson and go on a shooting spree.

But why cry over spilt media milk?  That’s just how it is today, money, money, money.  No one cares about the truth or the purity of existence that is exemplified by the beauty of physical perfection, which is exactly what excellence in sports is.  Forget that Chris does things that no one has, probably ever, other than Magic, Johnny Stock, and the Big O.  That’s okay.  People can forget.  And then the season will start.  And then you’ll all remember why they called him the Baby-Faced Assassin, the Grief Merchant, or the guy who could talk about Fight Club.  Call him what you will, or ignore him if you will; I’ll be watching, though, and I’ll call him what he is: a warrior, a winner, and the-real-MVP, and someday soon, an NBA Champion.

And it will happen in New Orleans.  And people will wonder why they don’t know more about him.  They’ll wonder what inane thing they were doing when Chris Paul did ______ because their TV station didn’t carry that game.  You really want to know what “amazing” is?  Just watch CP do his thing.

Until then, pretend that someone else deserves the headlines.  Pretend that some other player should be the league’s MVP.  When the truth is he can do things that no one else can, is a leader like few others, and who will continue to smash records on his way to greatness.  I know where I’ll be when it happens.  Do you?

Now, I know this is the internet, where douchebags have free reign to be douchebags in anonymity, without repercussions. I know most comment threads are usually full of ignorance that’s not worth reading. But (this is the point where you should stop reading if strong language offends you) the shit I have seen today is far beyond the limits of acceptable behavior. I am compelled to say something about it.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, in the past few weeks Stephon Marbury has gotten up to a neverending series of interesting– and sometimes disturbing– antics in his forays into livestreaming his life on the internet. I am probably guilty of watching far too much of them than is healthy to watch. Wizards center Brendan Haywood, when asked about Marbury by Hardcore Sports Radio, had the following to say:

“At first it was cool, but after a while it just became disturbing. He’s on YouTube crying with no shirt on for no reason, sweating while his boy’s rubbing his shoulders. What’s that about? That’s like gay porn. I don’t understand it. He’s dancing to a song called ‘Barbie Doll’, doing like stripper moves. I have no idea what’s going on with the guy, it’s almost like he’s trying to end his own career. There’s not a GM out there that would touch Marbury right now.

Have you seen the ‘Barbie Doll’ clip? Click on YouTube and go to Barbie Doll. There’s no way any other professional athletes would wanna get dressed around this guy, because you gotta think something is a little, he’s swinging from both sides of the fence.”

OMG they could be in your locker room, looking at your DICK!!

I was kind of taken aback by this when I read it, since, as mentioned, I watched quite a bit of the Marbury stuff this summer and “gay” was a word that pretty much never occurred to me. Kelly Dwyer of Yahoo’s Ball Don’t Lie provided an excellently written and fairly condemning post on Haywood’s foolish comments, and Kevin Arnovitz at True Hoop (who actually is one of the  “out” journalists referred to in the aforementioned post) followed it up with this piece. I read both and immediately thought, “Wow. Those were awesome pieces.” I said so at once. In fact, I’m the first comment on the BDL piece. What I liked particularly about it was that it used language that made the subject accessible to the average fan who might not be used to reading or writing about equality topics, and it used humor. It didn’t leap in and get political, or throw around a bunch of terminology that an NBA fan wouldn’t know. As you will soon find out, I am not going to do that in this post. I am going to use terminology. But I am going to– I promise– try to explain it, and also why the comments I read today from NBA fans are disheartening and seriously not OK, and the inherent connections homophobia has to issues which directly affect me.

Usually when I rant about topics like this, the group toward whom I direct my ire and fruitless pleas for enlightment is heterosexual white men. This is the default demographic in America. What do I mean by “default”? I mean that they are the group that’s marketed to. I mean that they are the group we see presented to us as characters on our televisions in Hollywood-produced entertainment, in ratios that are disproportionate to real life. It means if you are not a part of this group, you are “other” in some way. You have had some sort of “-ism” directed at you in your life, whether it be racism, sexism, whatever. For the purposes of today’s rant, however, I want to make it clear that men of color are totally not being given a pass. We are talking about HETEROSEXUAL. MEN. WHO. LIKE. SPORTS. Got it?

So now we’re going to talk a little about privilege. I’m going to roll with this definition, because I really like it:

Privilege Is: About how society accommodates you. It’s about advantages you have that you think are normal. It’s about you being normal, and others being the deviation from normal. It’s about fate dealing from the bottom of the deck on your behalf. (Source.)

It is now Question Time.

Q: But Ticktock6, I called Kelly Dwyer gay because if someone cares about an NBA player being afraid of gay people, he must also by default be gay!

A: I was called gay at least three times today in comment threads about the Brendan Haywood thing, and I found it both laughable and infuriating, because it is so symptomatic of the exact attitude the posts were talking about. It was part of what prompted me to write this post, and part of the privilege thing I was talking about before. It is self-centered and arrogant in the utmost extreme to assume that everyone in a comment thread must automatically feel a certain way because you do. Also, I frankly am so horrified that people apparently exist who have no ability to put themselves in the shoes of another human being, I really don’t know how strongly I can express this horror without spazzing incoherently on the keyboard of my MacBook. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You read that post, and the first thought that jumped to your mind was, “Haha! Kelly Dwyer’s gay!” … Wow. You are a sad individual. You are awarded no points, you fail at life, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Q: Surely, Ticktock6, you would be afraid to change in a whole room of lesbians, because they might spontaneously assault you and try to convert you! Oh wait, I just remembered lesbians are hot. Whereas gays are not cool. Never mind.

A: There is a lot of privilege to unpack here but I will make a valiant attempt. Let us start with the fact that men are privileged not to have been bombarded by sexualized and contorted imagery of their bodies on a daily basis for their entire lives. As a woman, damn, all we see is other women’s bodies. They’re everywhere. They’re in our magazines. They’re on the TV. They’re out on the street, because it’s acceptable and encouraged for women to wear less clothing than men. They’re on freakin billboards. If we hadn’t achieved a level of comfort with them being out there, we wouldn’t be able to open our eyes in America. Our sexuality doesn’t even really belong to us, on a certain level. It belongs to… everyone! It’s… out there! It’s public. We have been removed from having a say in certain aspects of it, and while this is not right, it does make us very used to female bodies. Sorry if I can’t summon any sympathy for your terror that someone gay might be looking at your body. As a heterosexual male, you are privileged in not having to deal with this in your life. I don’t know, is it this privilege that makes men freak out about other men’s bodies? You tell me. But then, you guys are in locker rooms. You guys pee next to each other with parts of your anatomy out. Where does this intense fear of other men’s sexuality come from? Seriously, don’t you think gay people have much better things to do than try to convert you? Again, your ability to be so self-centered is directly rooted in your privilege.

Q: So you are saying that Stephon Marbury might have danced around on Justin.tv to a teenybopper song with no shirt on for a reason other than because he’s gay? But how can this be? I was watching! The fact that he was there! Doing that! While I was watching! And I’m a heterosexual male! He has to be gay!

A: This is the assumption that pissed me off. If you can get this, and only this, you may leave this blog and I will feel like I achieved my purpose. Repeat after me. It is not always about you. Maybe it’s possible that someone can do something weird or slightly “off” and it’s not about their sexuality. Hell, maybe it is about their sexuality, and it’s still not about you. Maybe it’s possible that people exist– bear with me please– who are basketball fans, for whom a video of Marbury dancing is not “gay” at all. I watched a bunch of the Marbury stuff. I was like, “Damn, don’t put the shirt back on!” Was that gay of me to say that? Of course not. I’m a heterosexual female. (Never mind that gay people are just like heterosexual people, and they behave in a variety of different ways because they are a whole spectrum of people and do not necessarily define their entire lives by the fact that they are gay. They may be doctors. They may be writers. They may be basketball players. The point is there is no such thing as “THIS IS THE WAY ALL GAY PEOPLE ACT”.) By pre-supposing that someone’s behavior is gay or offensive solely because you are uncomfortable with it or confused by it, you are making it all about you. Society is set up to accommodate you more than any other demographic group, and you are demanding that we do it some more because you are insecure. You completely dismissed out of hand the idea that Marbury might be dancing for anyone– me, his friends, himself– other than you, because of course you are his only possible audience. And as a nice little side note, you are telling me I can’t possibly exist. I do not take kindly to this. Hence, the post.

Q: I don’t get it. How is that telling you you don’t exist? That’s not what I said at all. You’re not even gay.

A: You implied it. And this is really the crux of the whole thing. When you make harmful and ignorant comments about an NBA co-worker/peer in a supposedly joking way, or think every space in the sports blogosphere is a safe space for you to spew ignorant hate as a commenter and not be called on it– after all, everyone there is the same as you! … What you are really saying is that people who aren’t like you  A) aren’t a part of the audience for sports, and B) aren’t welcome in sports.

As a wrap-up note, don’t tell me I’m being too sensitive and need to grow a thicker skin or whatever garbage you want to say. You. Have. No. Idea. What it is like being me, out here in the blogosphere. You think if I didn’t have a thick skin, I would be still be writing an NBA blog? This is going to be my third season, and let me tell you, if I was not already able to shrug off the disgusting jokes, and ignorant statements, and people talking like I’m not there, and sheer hatred of women I read on a daily basis– yes, I said daily and yes, I said hatred because, as far as I am concerned, a denial of a person’s basic humanity counts as hatred–  I would have quit after a month. And that’s just what I read on the internet. In the spaces I regularly inhabit as a fan of the NBA. I can’t even imagine what it is like being a female reporter in a locker room. Or a gay reporter in a locker room. Also, it goes without saying that anyone who accuses others of being “too sensitive” or “acting out” is operating with a big whopping dose of— let’s all guess the word– privilege. If you’re a blogger, never having to skim past eighteen disgusting comments about a group of people that includes you is the biggest privilege of all. And you probably don’t even notice.

What follows is a Heterosexual Privilege checklist. The time I have personally taken to read checklists like these has been highly eye-opening and sobering to me. I suggest you read it alone, drop the tired “no homo/pause” facade, and try to imagine what it is like to be someone else for the five to ten minutes it takes you to finish reading. (For more reading on privilege, go here. And White Privilege Checklist, and my personal favorite friend the Male Privilege Checklist.)

Daily Effects of Straight Privilege ( Source.)

On a daily basis as a straight person…

• I can be pretty sure that my roommate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.
• If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
• When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
• I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.
• I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE fag tag or smear the queer).
• I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
• I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.
• I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
• I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.
• People don’t ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.
• People don’t ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.
• I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It’s assumed.
• My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.
• People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.
• I don’t have to defend my heterosexuality.
• I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
• I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.
• I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.
• Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.
• I have no need to qualify my straight identity.
• My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
• I am not identified by my sexual orientation.
• I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.
• If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
• Whether I rent or I go to a theater or Blockbuster, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.
• I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.
• I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.
• I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.
• I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
• I can go for months without being called straight.
• I’m not grouped because of my sexual orientation.
• My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.
• In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.
• People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.
• I can kiss a person of the opposite gender in the cafeteria without being watched and stared at.
• Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.
• People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE “straight as an arrow”, “standing up straight” or “straightened out” ) instead of demeaning terms (IE “ewww, that’s gay” or being “queer” ) .
• I am not asked to think about why I am straight.
• I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.

Q: But isn’t this supposed to be about basketball?

A: It is about basketball. And if you really, truly, loved the game, you would do everything you could to make sure that other people who aren’t exactly like you can be part of it too. I really encourage people to think seriously about whether you are being selfish in spaces you share with other NBA fans. Think about whether what you say may interfere with someone else’s ability to post about or talk about their love of the game.

Now, I hope we are clear about how arrogant and ignorant it is to assume that no one who’s anything other than the demographic you belong to is in your space as a sports fan or participant. I hope we are also clear that… this blog? This is my space. And if the “big” media isn’t going to delete hateful and disgusting commentary, you can be 100% assured that I will.

The only correct and acceptable answer here is, “Yes, Ticktock6, we are clear. Crystal.”