Hornets Hype

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

You know, last weekend I think I finally put a finger on why I love Posey so much. I think it has to do with me growing up watching hockey since I was six. I always had a soft spot for the hard-nosed “enforcer” type guy. Pose is that guy, in a basketball setting.

This video is an excellent illustration of what I’m talking about. That was a wicked hip check. Get this man a pair of skates.

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

(This one is reposted from 11/10/08, but we like to think it’s a Hornets Hype classic.)

So the official Hornets site is going to be featuring new fan fave James Posey’s thoughts from time to time this season. I thought the first installment was kinda tame, although the accompanying pic is all kinds of awesome. But whatev. The real James Posey is blogging right here on Hornets Hype. Witness a day in the life of Poz…

8:10 AM. Outta bed. Sunny. Good morning, 504!

8:20 AM. Was driving home from the game Saturday night, listening to the postgame show, when this dude calls in and says, “I have a question for you, Joe. I think my girlfriend’s about to leave me for James Posey. He’s just that awesome. Do you have any advice?” I shoulda called in and told him, “Ain’t nothing can be done about that situation.” The ladies love me. I know how to hustle, ya know what I mean? Yeah, you do.

8:50 AM. My young man Juju called. Seems he read some shit about me possibly mentoring him, teach him some long-limbed defensive hustlin goodness. I said, go pick me up some breakfast and I’ll think about it. He asks, Do I want any coffee with that? But I tell him, No, son. Do I look like I need coffee? I wake up amazing. Still, I will instruct this young one in my ways. If it doesn’t go well, I can always kick him out of The Club. I was wearing tall socks when he was still in diapers. So I can always, ya know, hold that over his head.

9:20 AM. Ate bacon and champagne for breakfast.

11:56 PM. You will not believe this shit. This is what goes down in the locker room before practice today.

Me: So on the way here, I helped this old lady cross the street to get to the bus stop. She was real nice.

Chris: No way! That happened to me too. Plus I gave a homeless guy $500 on my way to City Hall to sit in on a meeting with Ray Nagin about the city’s crime problem.

Me: ………

The hell. That goody two-shoes. No one out-Poseys James Posey. Gonna have to watch this one carefully…

12:42 PM. Hit 200 threes in practice. They were all clutch.

2:50 PM. Uploaded pics from Halloween to MySpace. Partied on Bourbon Street with the fellas. I went as me. Self-explanatory.

3:35 PM. Hate off days. No one to dominate. I once went 12 hours without blinking, on an off day. Just because I can.

5:40 PM. Paul texted me. Said he missed my hug before the game last night. Texted him back and told him sorry, you know my hugs cost $5.5 mil a year. That’s just business. Haha. Then decided that was too mean and texted him a smiley. I ain’t running a charity operation here. Just kidding. I’m a good dude. I once stole Kobe’s sandwich, but I put it back.

6:23 PM. Dude on Canal Street asked me where I got my shoes. Beat that scamming motherf@cker up, and then told him, “In yo ass.”

8:45 PM. There was a spider above my TV, up on the wall. Was v. distracting. Stared at it until it burst into a teeny flame, sizzled, and died.

10:05 PM. Took relaxing shower. Sang. No, I won’t tell you what.

11:06 PM. Lake Show better watch out on Weds, is all I’m gonna say. Can’t outhustle a hustler. Been 4 months but they still wake up in the middle of the night, all sweaty, seeing a dark shadow looming over them, lunging for their souls, or maybe a loose ball. That shadow is me.

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

The Many Colors of James Posey…

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

I am not gonna lie… some of this interview may not make sense. There may be alcohol involved.

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

ESPN presents… Great Clutch Moments in the Life of James Posey

P.S. I realize no one gets my inexplicable crush on Paul Pierce. Sometimes even I don’t get it. But after watching that again… damn. Y’all.

While making fun of the corporate-whorish NBA TV/Nike “24 Hours of LeBron” to celebrate LeBron James’ 24th birthday, I jokingly stated that the next Hornet birthday, I’d top that. January 13th is James Posey’s birthday. And I am a woman of my word. Check out the rest of the silliness here.

I reserve the right not to blog about that game, or in fact acknowledge its existence. So, let’s just carry right on with what we were doing…

Oh. You thought I was kidding.

You don’t know me like that.

Anyway, I am pretty sure these are the official stats on my James Posey jersey, laid out gamer style. It’s 6-1, plus I am convinced it saved me from death by decapitation. Really, what more can you ask for from one $35 item of clothing? Ya know what I’m saying?

Here is a 100% true story from last night’s game.

Last night James Posey already had ten points in the second quarter, before injuring what was apparently his calf muscle. He was clearly limping on court. He was camping in the corner, and Chris Paul had the ball at the top of the circle. mW is like, “Chris! Call time out!” But here’s Posey and he can barely walk, and he’s waving at Chris like, “Yo! I’m open for three!” Because that is just the guy that he is. Tough as… you know, they always say tough as nails, but nails are actually rather easily bendable, aren’t they? Whereas Posey is not. Anyhow, he hangs on through the next possession and a half, and then heads for the locker room.

Now, I had been planning on purchasing his jersey in the team store at halftime, for a couple of reasons. First of all, he’s the only bench guy who has his jersey in the store, and I like to support the guy whose jersey everyone else isn’t wearing. I bought a Chandler one on the internet last year and was one of the only people who had one for awhile, because for some inexplicable reason the store wasn’t stocking them. Second, I think Posey is amazing and I want to be him when I grow up (which, you know, means I don’t have much time to get that amazing, since he is only 4 years older than me). So now I’m like, man, I don’t know. What if his ankle’s injured and he’s going to be out a while? Is it bad luck to buy the injured dude’s jersey? But I buy it anyway, a white pinstriped one.

I get back to my seat, and not a minute later, who comes loping out of the tunnel but Posey. And then a few minutes later, here he is checking into the game. I look at the scoreboard and wonder whether Chris Paul’s 24-8 so far is going to be in danger if I take off his jersey and put on Posey’s. I decide, clearly not. So I put on the new jersey. Posey goes on to score 19 points, and not just threes. I mean he was banging around in the post throwing up all kinds of crazy shots. Indestructible.

Fast forward to the end of the game. They have just finished the T-shirt gun thing. I have just finished ignoring it as usual. The players have come back on the court. mW is on his iPhone checking stats, and I am watching the screen as they announce Pose as the sub of the game.

At that moment something bangs into the glass between our heads. “Holy shit!” I yelled. It was a late shot (and I mean a way late shot– like the kind of thing where some guy brings his arm down and bludgeons some other guy under the basket 5 seconds after the play, and the ref blows the whistle and is like, “WHOA! LATE HIT! Foul!” Except in real life, not in the course of a basketball game, so really you could say it was a party foul) with the t-shirt gun, and it almost killed us. I am not making this up. We put Hugo on the Shit List for this. What the hell. That is seriously dangerous. No one was standing up, waving their arms. No one was looking that direction. The players were back on the friggin court! The deadly projectile ricocheted into the row in front of us. “Hey!” I yelled down to the guy who caught it. “That almost killed me!” And he tossed it up.

And so, James Posey = indestructible. Ticktock6 = narrowly escaped death while wearing the Posey jersey. Now, I don’t know if this all means anything. Take it as you may. But I am JUST SAYING.

P.S. I would be remiss in my job as Hornets blogger if I did not mention the most awesome thing in the history of Christmas, namely that they played a clip on the jumbotron of Mo Pete, Tyson Chandler, and Ryan Bowen singing Jingle Bells. Tyson didn’t do much besides announce the clip and then dance around in back of the other two who were doing all the work. Surprisingly (or not? he’s rather versatile) Ryan Bowen could actually sing. But Mo Pete was doing a nasty nasty beatbox, which totally stole the show. No, seriously, it was awesome. It was by far the best thing that has been on the jumbotron possibly ever. HORNETS ORGANIZATION– IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THAT WAS YOUTUBE GOLD. IT NEEDS TO BE ON THE INTERNET. IT BEGS TO BE ON THE INTERNET. Please either post it or send it to me!!

The James Posey replica jersey: If life was a video game it woud be +100 against CERTAIN DEATH