Hornets Hype

The following page appeared in this weekend’s Hornets game programs. Hehe… All I’m saying is, picture of Brandon Roy… Ladies Night… Brandon Roy…

You know what I’m saying. Uh huh. That is some smart marketing. See, they’re always thinking like that. Smart.

Now, BRoy, don’t go thinking you’re going to confuse me with your muscular shoulders and your superclutch shots and your whizzing through the lane all talented and All-Star like. It’s not like you came here just for me or anything. You came to beat my team. And we quite simply can’t have that.

So I know Chris Paul had a triple double and 7 steals, but that totally happened last week too, so I hope you don’t mind if I skip it.

The Hornets had a 69-63 lead after the third quarter. Then, to open the fourth, Peja hit a three. Yes, yes, whatever. Then he came down and hit another one. Okay. He proceeded to score 15 straight points on five straight threes. When I say straight points, I mean, he scored all the teams’ points. This occurred on six possessions. A dramatization: “Pejjjjjjaaaaa for threeeeeee!” [something happens on Sixers' end] “Ppppppejaaaaa for threeeee!” [a Sixer probably misses a free throw-- this is just a dramatization but they missed a lot, so why not?] “Pppejjaaaaa! For threeeeeeeeeeee!” [Hornets get rebound, crowd thinks, 'Oh come on, that's just cold, I'm cringing, you don't have to--] “Peja for three!” [Oh, fuck it.]

So here’s the crazy part. He hit all five from THE EXACT SAME SPOT ON THE FLOOR. Now, you might say I am exaggerating. Okay, fine. You might be right. The last one was slightly to the left. Check out the shot chart. He even got a nice little swagger dance going toward the end, and good-naturedly laughed off the sixth three that was called off because of the shot clock… but not before the arena had absolutely exploded.

A HornetsHype conversation (TM)

TT6: (reading recap) The Hornets are 23-7 when Peja scores double digits, but only 4-7 when he doesn’t.

mW: (snort) Yeah, and they’re 11-1 when I scratch my nose in the third quarter.

TT6: But they’re 7-2 when I wear my Posey jersey. [Note: This is a fact. And! Now they're 1-0 when Hilton Armstrong wears tall socks. SOMETIMES STATS HAVE MEANING. SEE?]

And one final note… who was watching at the very end of the game? Am I imagining this, or did Andre Miller intentionally foul Rasual Butler so everyone could get free Popeyes? He’s officially my new NBA hero. No, seriously. Here’s the situation: the Hornets have 99 points and a double digit lead, and the crowd is yelling. Whatever, we’re kind of new to the “Free fast food if they score 100 points” thing, because they didn’t have it before this season. And double whatever, because I was not aware before this season that Popeyes even had a chicken wrap to get a free one of… I mean, frankly, that’s a little healthier than what I want when I head to Popeyes, ya know what I’m saying? I want like a twelve piece spicy box with biscuits and Cajun rice… But I digress.

So Chris Paul gets a rebound with 24 seconds left in the fourth quarter, which gives him the triple double. Everyone cheers, but he heads up the court and decides to do the polite thing and dribble it out. Then, with 2.2 seconds left, Rasual Butler is half-assedly dribbling over near the Sixers bench, and Andre Miller reaches out and half-assedly hacks him across the wrist. They close up on him, and he’s laughing. Sual hits the free throws. HAHA!

I just gotta conclude that Andre Miller knows about Popeyes. He knows.

Guys. This is actually really cool. Last year when we got Tyson Chandler bobbleheads, I complained about how it couldn’t really look like Tyson because it had no tats. I mean, that’s pretty lame. If they can get Chris Paul’s two-colored bracelets right, you’d think they can at least stamp some ink on it.

I can see it if the guy has one tattoo, but when even the Allen Iverson bobblehead is pristinely inkless, it just becomes weird. Whatever. You can’t tell me that’s AI. It’s like Iverson’s preppy clone. If it’s acceptable that Iverson the person has tattoos, how come it’s not acceptable for Iverson the bobblehead doll to have them? I THINK THE CHILDREN HAVE EYES. Like, the secret’s out of the bag. The impressionable youth already <gasp> know he has them.

But check out the David West bobblehead we got on Monday. DX wouldn’t be DX without, well, the X? Would he? I didn’t think so. Amazingly, the bobblehead makers agreed, as you can see from the photo–

… HA. Yeah right. The bobblehead makers are corporate whores. But luckily, your friend TT6 likes small (and we are talking really, really small) art projects. I only did five out of the seven (um, unless he’s got some under the uniform we don’t know about, obviously), but I think I managed to create the desired effect. You shoulda seen how sweet the tat under the X looked before I accidentally stuck my finger on it and smudged it…

The answer is nothing, right?

Wrong! As proven by tonight’s giveaway, featuring not one but two Chris Pauls. The Hornets are participating in Hardwood Classic Night, kicking it old school ABA style in New Orleans Bucs jerseys. (Damn, those shorts are small. The Hornets, it should be noted, will be playing tonight sans small shorts. That is to say, they will be wearing shorts. But they’ll be regular uniform sized shorts.) But if you want your two Chris Pauls, you have to be one of the first 8,000 people through the door. Which means you will have to forgo the dollar beers, alas.

There are probably still tickets available if you want to get in on this, because the Hornets are putting the revenge smackdown on playing the Charlotte Bobcats.

Meanwhile, over at At the Hive, Hornets GM Jeff Bower answers his phone calls…

Update: Meanwhile, it seems Jeff Bower really was on the phone, because the team seems to have traded Mike James to Washington for Antonio Daniels.

There are a lot of upcoming events this week to kick off the regular season, so I’m just going to hit the big ones. Because Hornets Hype loves parties and fun, oh yes we do.

Rally Downtown: Fulton Square, Monday 5:30 PM -8:30 PM

From the press release: “The Hornets will host “Swarm at Fulton Square on Fulton Street,” Monday, Oct. 27, from 5:30 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. The pep rally is free and open to the public. Fans are encouraged to come out and meet their favorite Hornets’ players, Hugo and the Honeybees, while listening to a live performance by the Topcats. Hornets players will be located around Fulton Street signing autographs and previewing the upcoming season. Fans can purchase new team merchandise from the Hornets Nest. Guests can also sign up to win hundreds of giveaways and enjoy food and drink specials. Swarm at Fulton Square kicks off the Hornets’ 2008 “Buzz in Blue Week.”

I’m leaning toward going to this, but mW has to work. Drop a line in the comments to let me know if you’ll be there. I’m thinking I’d like to go anyway, at least for a little bit, and take some pics and stuff.

Official Watch Party: Fox & Hound in Harahan (1200 S. Clearview Pkwy), Wednesday 9:00 PM- 12:00 AM

Hosted by Rob Nice. Appearance by Hugo & the Honeybees, and Hornets giveaways. Hornets Hype will not be at this, because we’ll be at…

Hornets 247 Season Launch Party: Handsome Willy’s (218 S Robertson St), Wednesday 7:00 PM -

It’s where all the cool kids will be for the GSW game. Sorry, official Hornets party. 247 totally planned theirs first, so we’re going to that one. You should go too. It’s going to be hot. Full info here.

Official Watch Party: Ernst Cafe (600 S. Peters St.), Thursday 9:00 PM - 12:00 AM

For NO @ Phoenix. Hugo. Honeybees. Giveaways. Etc.

Cavs @ Hornets: New Orleans Arena, Saturday 7:00 PM

The one we’ve all been waiting for. Plus dollar beers outside starting at 5:30. Tomorrow is coming… starting today.

Because would I be the Hive Queen if I didn’t make you aware of the good word on Hornets freebies? (Dariusz called me the Hive Queen the other day… I’m going to keep it. Cause, you know, I devour all my mates when I’m finished with them. And also, I blog the Hornets.) The Hornets 2008-09 promotional schedule is out! And I would not want you to miss anything that’s free.

So I am promoting the promotions.

Some Freebie Highlights:

10/21 vs. Pacers: Pack the Hive in Pink, aka Breast Cancer Awareness Night. That’s tonight. Now I feel sort of bad for my scorn of all pink women’s sports gear, because you’re supposed to wear pink. Guys, I’m sure you can come up with a dress shirt. If not, you are clearly not as preppy as me.

10/27 Swarm @ Fulton Square: A block party like the one they had during the playoffs, from 5:30-8:00. The players will be there. Food, drink, and gear will be there. Music and freebies will probably also be there.

11/1 vs. Cavaliers: Opening Night. Free t-shirts and schedule magnets.

11/8 vs. Heat: Hornets car flags.

12/10 vs. Bobcats: Retro New Orleans Buccaneers night. CP3/Buccaneers bobbleheads to the first 8,000.

12/17 vs. Spurs: Gold towels.

12/20 vs. Kings: Hornets Christmas ornaments.

1/19 vs. Pacers: The night we’ve all been waiting for… DAVID WEST BOBBLEHEADS! But… with the new uniforms, I am wary about how he’ll look posed in a funny picture with the rest of the guys. (And also, what Star Wars quote I could possibly use next. I guess by then, we’ll know. Always in motion is the future.)

2/4 vs. Bulls: Tyson Chandler basketball, first 5,000 fans. I don’t know what it is, but I know I want it.

2/18 vs. Magic: Hornets beeeeaaaaaadds!

3/5 vs. Mavs: Hornets swirlers. Again, I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure there’s a treasured place for it in the collection of random Hornet-colored stuff in the corner behind my entertainment center.

3/7 vs. Thunder (HA! Lame): Honeybees poster. If, you know, this type of thing is your bag, baby.

3/18 vs. T-Wolves: Peja action figure (!!!!!! I need!)

4/12 vs. Mavs: Last home game before the playoffs (optimism, optimism). Team poster.

But I would continue to check the schedule, because they’re always adding stuff as the season goes on. And also, I noticed that Every. Single. Home. Game has a Buzzfest this year. Even in the cold. And you know what that means.

Dollar dollar beers, ya’ll.

Oh, and on a funny note, check out Ball Don’t Lie’s season preview for the Hornets. And, um, look very carefully? (I have no idea. But it cracks me up.)

A roundup of all the Hornets ticket info I know:

• If you sign up for Bee Mail, you will get emailed a link and the password for single game tickets in the pre-sale that starts Wednesday 10/1 at 10:00 AM. This is basically the same format they used for individual playoff tickets. Really, there’s no point in not signing up. They don’t email you a lot, and when they do, it’s usually good stuff. You might get to find out about some promotions before they go on the site (although it’s definitely not as timely or special goodie-filled as the season ticketholder email, which unfortunately mW gets and I don’t).
• If you don’t have Bee Mail, then general tickets go on sale Saturday 10/4 at 10:00 AM.
• There will be $8 tickets this year. Obviously for the rows in the way, way top of the upper bowl, but this is still a slight price drop from last year, when the cheapest tickets were $10.
• Half Season ticket packages are currently on sale. You can pick Plan A or Plan B. I suggest going to the site to check out the breakdown of which games you would be getting with which package.
• 10 Game packages are also on sale. For more details about these packages, here’s the official page.
• Of course, you can still buy Full Season tickets if you want to be cool like the other 10,300 people. But not in the lower bowl, as I believe it’s sold out.
• Additionally, tickets for the two home preseason games are already on sale. That’s Golden State on Sunday, 10/5 at 6:00 PM, and the Pacers on Tuesday, 10/21 at 6:00 PM. We, of course, will be there rocking out in Lower Corner C. You can also trek to Mobile for Hornets/Heat on 10/23.

HOLY CRAP!!! October 5th! THERE’S A GAME NEXT WEEKEND!

As a wise man once said…. “Woo!”

Damn, I said I was gone. I lie, lie, lie.

I’m planning on doing an inventory of any extra Hornets freebies we’ve accumulated over the course of the playoffs. FYI, it’s going to end up going something like, “20 cheer cards, 6 Pejas on Sticks, 2 XL Fan Up! t-shirts, 5 posters, 1 towel, and 4 GEAUX HORNETS car decals.” No, seriously. There is a crawl space behind our entertainment center where we have just been chucking the extras for the last month and a half. If you are an out of town fan and you’d be interested in random Hornets freebies, check back here in the beginning of June. I’ll see if I can try to put something in the mail to you guys.

UPDATE: OK, so I know for a fact I am not going to have a FAN UP t-shirt for everyone who wants one (I’m talking 2-3 tops, all gold, because I was in Tampa for the teal game and because the white one is the only one that is a M and remotely fits me so I’m keeping it), so I wanted to let you know that there are currently several on EBay. I typed in “New Orleans Hornets fan up” and a bunch of them in different colors popped up. I’ll even link you the search.

Oddly similar to the first two, except diagonal and sponsored by Harrahs! I’m assuming they’re going to be laid out on the seats for us like last time (hey, Hornets people, do you listen to us?), free for everyone in attendance. Can you say… GOLD OUT!

We’re also going to get a Buzzfest from 6:00 PM- 8:00 PM (naturally), featuring Bag of Donuts. Game time for Game 5 is 8:30. Geaux Hornets!!

Consider me the rain on the parade. Consider me a hater in the lovefest that is Hornets-fandom. But our mission here at HornetsHype is to destroy all opposition to the perfect Hornets experience. Our mission is not yet complete. Although as Jim Eichenhofer at Hornets.com has pointed out, corporate sponsors are rolling in with the continued successes of the Hornets organization, one is conspicuously missing. It is a recent loss. At the beginning of the season it was there, but only like that sick relative who is just wasting away in a hospital, dying. And then, like a whisper in the night, it faded and was gone. And now, the New Orleans Arena no longer sells Abita Beer.

So I invoke one of the oldest of New Orleans’ traditions: the Jazz Funeral. Grab your instrument, put on your Sunday black best and march for a remembrance of an old and dear friend. Abita Beer.

Some would say this is a gripe better left for the after the season when the team has less to worry about. But let’s focus on of the image of New Orleans as a unique locale; this failure reflects on us all. We used to not only have Abita taps with four different brews at each Bacardi stand last year and early this year, with unique, full-flavored beer (any fans of Coors Light, Miller Light, Bud or Bud Light need not comment), but over the course of the year found these outlets limited to one on the 100 level and one on the 300 level. More than that, Pre-K we had a little Abita Brewpub in the Arena. It was awesome. Abita is awesome. It’s almost always stocked in our fridge and I’d bet it is in most New Orleanians’ fridges. And like many people, when I watch basketball, be it at home or at the arena, I enjoy a quality beer. A quality beer.

So bring back the Abita, New Orleans Arena. Be it trying to better represent Louisiana or just because you love beer. Bring it back because it’s the common sense approach to marketing. It’s a natural tie. Feature seasonal beers all-year round. It would be glorious.

Or at the very least, break out some Abita kegs at the Buzzfests.

[EDIT: no, this was not photoshopped. This happened in Treme. This morning. At dawn.  Unfortunately, the police broke it up.  It was sad.]