Hornets Hype

The answer is nothing, right?

Wrong! As proven by tonight’s giveaway, featuring not one but two Chris Pauls. The Hornets are participating in Hardwood Classic Night, kicking it old school ABA style in New Orleans Bucs jerseys. (Damn, those shorts are small. The Hornets, it should be noted, will be playing tonight sans small shorts. That is to say, they will be wearing shorts. But they’ll be regular uniform sized shorts.) But if you want your two Chris Pauls, you have to be one of the first 8,000 people through the door. Which means you will have to forgo the dollar beers, alas.

There are probably still tickets available if you want to get in on this, because the Hornets are putting the revenge smackdown on playing the Charlotte Bobcats.

Meanwhile, over at At the Hive, Hornets GM Jeff Bower answers his phone calls…

Update: Meanwhile, it seems Jeff Bower really was on the phone, because the team seems to have traded Mike James to Washington for Antonio Daniels.

There are a lot of upcoming events this week to kick off the regular season, so I’m just going to hit the big ones. Because Hornets Hype loves parties and fun, oh yes we do.

Rally Downtown: Fulton Square, Monday 5:30 PM -8:30 PM

From the press release: “The Hornets will host “Swarm at Fulton Square on Fulton Street,” Monday, Oct. 27, from 5:30 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. The pep rally is free and open to the public. Fans are encouraged to come out and meet their favorite Hornets’ players, Hugo and the Honeybees, while listening to a live performance by the Topcats. Hornets players will be located around Fulton Street signing autographs and previewing the upcoming season. Fans can purchase new team merchandise from the Hornets Nest. Guests can also sign up to win hundreds of giveaways and enjoy food and drink specials. Swarm at Fulton Square kicks off the Hornets’ 2008 “Buzz in Blue Week.”

I’m leaning toward going to this, but mW has to work. Drop a line in the comments to let me know if you’ll be there. I’m thinking I’d like to go anyway, at least for a little bit, and take some pics and stuff.

Official Watch Party: Fox & Hound in Harahan (1200 S. Clearview Pkwy), Wednesday 9:00 PM- 12:00 AM

Hosted by Rob Nice. Appearance by Hugo & the Honeybees, and Hornets giveaways. Hornets Hype will not be at this, because we’ll be at…

Hornets 247 Season Launch Party: Handsome Willy’s (218 S Robertson St), Wednesday 7:00 PM -

It’s where all the cool kids will be for the GSW game. Sorry, official Hornets party. 247 totally planned theirs first, so we’re going to that one. You should go too. It’s going to be hot. Full info here.

Official Watch Party: Ernst Cafe (600 S. Peters St.), Thursday 9:00 PM – 12:00 AM

For NO @ Phoenix. Hugo. Honeybees. Giveaways. Etc.

Cavs @ Hornets: New Orleans Arena, Saturday 7:00 PM

The one we’ve all been waiting for. Plus dollar beers outside starting at 5:30. Tomorrow is coming… starting today.

Because would I be the Hive Queen if I didn’t make you aware of the good word on Hornets freebies? (Dariusz called me the Hive Queen the other day… I’m going to keep it. Cause, you know, I devour all my mates when I’m finished with them. And also, I blog the Hornets.) The Hornets 2008-09 promotional schedule is out! And I would not want you to miss anything that’s free.

So I am promoting the promotions.

Some Freebie Highlights:

10/21 vs. Pacers: Pack the Hive in Pink, aka Breast Cancer Awareness Night. That’s tonight. Now I feel sort of bad for my scorn of all pink women’s sports gear, because you’re supposed to wear pink. Guys, I’m sure you can come up with a dress shirt. If not, you are clearly not as preppy as me.

10/27 Swarm @ Fulton Square: A block party like the one they had during the playoffs, from 5:30-8:00. The players will be there. Food, drink, and gear will be there. Music and freebies will probably also be there.

11/1 vs. Cavaliers: Opening Night. Free t-shirts and schedule magnets.

11/8 vs. Heat: Hornets car flags.

12/10 vs. Bobcats: Retro New Orleans Buccaneers night. CP3/Buccaneers bobbleheads to the first 8,000.

12/17 vs. Spurs: Gold towels.

12/20 vs. Kings: Hornets Christmas ornaments.

1/19 vs. Pacers: The night we’ve all been waiting for… DAVID WEST BOBBLEHEADS! But… with the new uniforms, I am wary about how he’ll look posed in a funny picture with the rest of the guys. (And also, what Star Wars quote I could possibly use next. I guess by then, we’ll know. Always in motion is the future.)

2/4 vs. Bulls: Tyson Chandler basketball, first 5,000 fans. I don’t know what it is, but I know I want it.

2/18 vs. Magic: Hornets beeeeaaaaaadds!

3/5 vs. Mavs: Hornets swirlers. Again, I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure there’s a treasured place for it in the collection of random Hornet-colored stuff in the corner behind my entertainment center.

3/7 vs. Thunder (HA! Lame): Honeybees poster. If, you know, this type of thing is your bag, baby.

3/18 vs. T-Wolves: Peja action figure (!!!!!! I need!)

4/12 vs. Mavs: Last home game before the playoffs (optimism, optimism). Team poster.

But I would continue to check the schedule, because they’re always adding stuff as the season goes on. And also, I noticed that Every. Single. Home. Game has a Buzzfest this year. Even in the cold. And you know what that means.

Dollar dollar beers, ya’ll.

Oh, and on a funny note, check out Ball Don’t Lie’s season preview for the Hornets. And, um, look very carefully? (I have no idea. But it cracks me up.)

A roundup of all the Hornets ticket info I know:

• If you sign up for Bee Mail, you will get emailed a link and the password for single game tickets in the pre-sale that starts Wednesday 10/1 at 10:00 AM. This is basically the same format they used for individual playoff tickets. Really, there’s no point in not signing up. They don’t email you a lot, and when they do, it’s usually good stuff. You might get to find out about some promotions before they go on the site (although it’s definitely not as timely or special goodie-filled as the season ticketholder email, which unfortunately mW gets and I don’t).
• If you don’t have Bee Mail, then general tickets go on sale Saturday 10/4 at 10:00 AM.
• There will be $8 tickets this year. Obviously for the rows in the way, way top of the upper bowl, but this is still a slight price drop from last year, when the cheapest tickets were $10.
• Half Season ticket packages are currently on sale. You can pick Plan A or Plan B. I suggest going to the site to check out the breakdown of which games you would be getting with which package.
• 10 Game packages are also on sale. For more details about these packages, here’s the official page.
• Of course, you can still buy Full Season tickets if you want to be cool like the other 10,300 people. But not in the lower bowl, as I believe it’s sold out.
• Additionally, tickets for the two home preseason games are already on sale. That’s Golden State on Sunday, 10/5 at 6:00 PM, and the Pacers on Tuesday, 10/21 at 6:00 PM. We, of course, will be there rocking out in Lower Corner C. You can also trek to Mobile for Hornets/Heat on 10/23.

HOLY CRAP!!! October 5th! THERE’S A GAME NEXT WEEKEND!

As a wise man once said…. “Woo!”

Damn, I said I was gone. I lie, lie, lie.

I’m planning on doing an inventory of any extra Hornets freebies we’ve accumulated over the course of the playoffs. FYI, it’s going to end up going something like, “20 cheer cards, 6 Pejas on Sticks, 2 XL Fan Up! t-shirts, 5 posters, 1 towel, and 4 GEAUX HORNETS car decals.” No, seriously. There is a crawl space behind our entertainment center where we have just been chucking the extras for the last month and a half. If you are an out of town fan and you’d be interested in random Hornets freebies, check back here in the beginning of June. I’ll see if I can try to put something in the mail to you guys.

UPDATE: OK, so I know for a fact I am not going to have a FAN UP t-shirt for everyone who wants one (I’m talking 2-3 tops, all gold, because I was in Tampa for the teal game and because the white one is the only one that is a M and remotely fits me so I’m keeping it), so I wanted to let you know that there are currently several on EBay. I typed in “New Orleans Hornets fan up” and a bunch of them in different colors popped up. I’ll even link you the search.

Oddly similar to the first two, except diagonal and sponsored by Harrahs! I’m assuming they’re going to be laid out on the seats for us like last time (hey, Hornets people, do you listen to us?), free for everyone in attendance. Can you say… GOLD OUT!

We’re also going to get a Buzzfest from 6:00 PM- 8:00 PM (naturally), featuring Bag of Donuts. Game time for Game 5 is 8:30. Geaux Hornets!!

Consider me the rain on the parade. Consider me a hater in the lovefest that is Hornets-fandom. But our mission here at HornetsHype is to destroy all opposition to the perfect Hornets experience. Our mission is not yet complete. Although as Jim Eichenhofer at Hornets.com has pointed out, corporate sponsors are rolling in with the continued successes of the Hornets organization, one is conspicuously missing. It is a recent loss. At the beginning of the season it was there, but only like that sick relative who is just wasting away in a hospital, dying. And then, like a whisper in the night, it faded and was gone. And now, the New Orleans Arena no longer sells Abita Beer.

So I invoke one of the oldest of New Orleans’ traditions: the Jazz Funeral. Grab your instrument, put on your Sunday black best and march for a remembrance of an old and dear friend. Abita Beer.

Some would say this is a gripe better left for the after the season when the team has less to worry about. But let’s focus on of the image of New Orleans as a unique locale; this failure reflects on us all. We used to not only have Abita taps with four different brews at each Bacardi stand last year and early this year, with unique, full-flavored beer (any fans of Coors Light, Miller Light, Bud or Bud Light need not comment), but over the course of the year found these outlets limited to one on the 100 level and one on the 300 level. More than that, Pre-K we had a little Abita Brewpub in the Arena. It was awesome. Abita is awesome. It’s almost always stocked in our fridge and I’d bet it is in most New Orleanians’ fridges. And like many people, when I watch basketball, be it at home or at the arena, I enjoy a quality beer. A quality beer.

So bring back the Abita, New Orleans Arena. Be it trying to better represent Louisiana or just because you love beer. Bring it back because it’s the common sense approach to marketing. It’s a natural tie. Feature seasonal beers all-year round. It would be glorious.

Or at the very least, break out some Abita kegs at the Buzzfests.

[EDIT: no, this was not photoshopped. This happened in Treme. This morning. At dawn.  Unfortunately, the police broke it up.  It was sad.]

Huge breaking news. Straight from the Hornets website:

May 3: Hornets vs. Spurs, 9:00 p.m.
Giveaway: Gold “Fan Up New Orleans” T-Shirt, courtesy of Toyota (everyone in attendance)
Peja Stojakovic Head (everyone in attendance)

Yes! Seriously! No joke.

Oh wow, so let me get this straight. We’re going to have CP3’s “Gold Out” on Saturday… the game is at 9 PM, meaning everyone will be Jazzfesting/partying in the street all evening beforehand… and… and Pejas on sticks! This is almost too much for HornetsHype to handle.

The Hornets are also not messing around with the Buzzfest. Dollar beers will start flowing at the fine, fresh hour of 6:30. Except if you’re a season ticketholder. Then you’ll get the only thing better than a dollar beer. And what’s the only thing better than a dollar beer?

Yeah, you know it.

(Edited: This is just indicative of the kind of fan I am. mW just walked through the door and I said I just posted huge breaking news. He was like, “Chris Paul is MVP?” I was like, “Dude, Peja on a STICK!” … yeah. It’s a good thing y’all don’t come here for deeply compelling statistical analysis.)

OK, so Sunday night on the postgame press conference, Chris Paul said he wants to see the arena in GOLD.

This is gonna be one of those moments when I’m going to bitch about the Hornets organization. I love ‘em, but… remember how I said we needed to organize the fans better? This is a prime example. OK, scratch that. Except the part about loving the Hornets. See the bottom of the post for an explanation.

Because the players said they wanted gold. Tyson just said it again on his blog today. And CP3’s quote was in the paper, but people might have missed that. Yet… the giveaway tonight is thunderstix. Now I’m not saying it’s reasonable to get 20,000 t-shirts printed on short notice because the players want gold and not teal, but… you know, they could have sent around an email or posted something on the site telling people definitively what to wear. Complicating the issue is the fact that the “Fan Up New Orleans!” shirts are teal. And the previous giveaway was black. And prior to that, white. See the problem? People are not gonna wear the gold gear if they don’t have any (unless you want to see a sea of LSU), and people are not gonna wear a solid color at all unless it’s splashed all over town that they’re supposed to. I think whenever they do t-shirts they should put them on the seats so people realize they have to put one on.

So. Will the fans pull this together to look impressive tonight?

I’m gonna go with, “Ha. No.”

At least we can yell.

Update: I’m told (check out the comments) that CP surprised everyone with that remark, and the staff was scrambling around looking for 18,000 gold shirts on short notice. So… I apologize for the criticism. At least they tried! SO. What to wear? I’m going to wear my teal TC #6 jersey over yellow, and call it a compromise.

For the love of the Hornets, I beg you.

Stop having them.

No, really. It’s the playoffs. This stuff counts now. The Hornets marketing people need to take a serious look at what they might be doing to the team. As a refresher, let’s take a look at the Hornets’ record this season for Official Watch Parties:

2/23 @ San Antonio… L 89-98

3/16 @ Detroit… L 84-105

3/28 @ Boston… L 92-112

4/11 @ LA… L 104-107

4/25 @ Dallas… L 87-97

So not only do the Hornets have to contend tonight with their record of 0-14 in Dallas’ arena over the last 10 years, they also have to deal with the 0-5 Kiss of Death that is the officially sponsored watch party. Thanks a lot, guys. On Friday I seriously wanted to tackle Brittany, wrestle the mike away from her, and yell, “NO! The watch party for Sunday will NOT be here at Gordon Biersch! It is cancelled! Stay away! GO HOME PEOPLE, GO HOME!”

Now, you haters out there might be saying, “Well, Ticktock, those five games are against quality playoff teams. In fact, with the exception of Dallas, none of those teams finished lower than a #3 seed.”

Whatever. I know better. It’s the Watch Party of Doom. You’ll notice that the Hornets have beaten four out of five of those teams on other nights (the exception is the 0-for against the Pistons this year). The Hornets have even won road games against two of those teams. Shit, they only lost 15 road games this season.

So next you might be saying, “Well, if you feel that way, then don’t go.” But see, that’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if I don’t go. I’ve only gone to two. Who attends is not the issue. Also not the issue is the location of the party. The losses have taken place three times at Bruno’s, twice in Covington, and once at G.B. It’s the very existence of the party that causes the Hornets to lose.

For the sake of the series, I hope the Hornets come out firing tonight. That’s a lot of baggage, but I hope they can overcome.

We, for the record, will not be going.