Finally! The NBA plans to impose fines on floppers next season. (Why oh why couldn’t they have come up with this idea sooner, so we could all be watching Hornets/Lakers right now?) So, right on. If players feel they’re not doing the right thing unless they fall on the floor to “sell” calls, something is awry. Hockey eventually began to penalize diving, and that’s worked out pretty well. Of course, the best part of this article is what Rasheed Wallace had to say about it. I won’t quote it here because, hey, this is not a Sheed blog, but trust me. You’ll be (expletive) entertained.

Over on the official blog, it’s been announced that they’re going to have Hornets Insider articles, along with a couple of other new features, next season. The first one is Eight Things to Know About NBA Scouting, which was an interesting read, especially the parts about the off-the-court stuff the Hornets look at in prospects.

And don’t forget to go to At the Hive and vote on the How’d He Do? season player review series. He’s done Ely, Peterson, West, and Wells so far. (Wow, I decided I was gonna go with all last names on that one to keep it consistent, but it felt really weird to type. Like my fingers really were resistant to not throwing in nicknames or initials. Wah.)

And here’s a sentence you never thought you’d see:

The Spurs are going to have to put better players around their big three. They’re going to have to get younger and more athletic, and they’ll need to get a better power forward to match up with David West in N.O., and Pau Gasol (who will move to the 4 when Andrew Bynum returns) or Odom in L.A.

That’s from the ESPN Roundtable today, which discusses the Spurs’ future. I just love the name drop of D West. A year ago, you didn’t think you’d see that, did you? (Of course you didn’t think Gasol would be in L.A., either, come to think of it…) They also call the Hornets “ascendant.”

Ascendant. Great word.

Anyhow, tomorrow morning I’m taking a flight to Syracuse, on my way to visit the (expletive) awesomeness that is St. Lawrence University, where I will be getting up to All. Sorts. Of. Trouble at my 5 Year Reunion. So I will clearly not be seen in these parts until Monday, not that I’ve been posting much lately anyway. But I do want to go through that playoff swag next week and figure out what to send to who. So ticktock6 = partying. Ticktock6 = not in the NOLA.

And then next Friday is my birthday, which, if someone wants to make it a real memorable one, you know, it would be great to wake up and be notified that next year’s season tickets are now free. Or like, Tyson Chandler on my doorstep… I’m just saying. No? Fine, I’ll just have a Tanqueray and tonic, I guess…

Later, Buzz Friends. I’m out like Ginobili’s flop.

Because HornetsHype loves arts and crafts. And because no one fucks with David West on my watch. And now, for your Game 7 viewing pleasure, I present to you…

Side A…

And Side B…

I’d like to clear something up. There’s been a lot of mudslinging from Spurs fans to Hornets fans and vice versa this series. To be expected. But one thing in particular, I feel the need to address: the booing for Spurs players who fall to the ground and stay there. I guess after the “Horry, Horry” chants last night for Cheap Shot Bob, I feel the need to explain to those who don’t get it.

We’re not hoping anyone gets hurt. Not at all. Rather, this is the case of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Right from the start of this series, in Game 1, Bruce Bowen took a hard foul from Bonzi Wells and went to the court hard. He then ended up on the floor for several minutes, nothing noticeably wrong, not really grasping anything or writhing in pain, but just laying there, face down. A lot of us couldn’t see the play; he was in a crowd when it happened. But believing him to be a flopper–and still not forgiving his earlier-in-the-season assault on Chris Paul–the crowd booed when he got up, rather than cheered. Some people, especially those not present at the Arena, were confused by this booing and thought that we hoped he was hurt. Not so.

Consider that when Bowen finally got up, he looked perfectly fine. He showed no later effect from the play. So some reporter asked Bowen about the incident after the game, and he had this to say: “I just want to be sure that the officials can see what’s really going on.” In other words, he faked it to make sure he got the call. And he did. A flagrant no less. A good tactic, you say? Probably. I don’t mind a little psychology. But at the same time, Bowen opened the door for us, as a crowd, to not fall for it and call his bullshit, even if the refs continue to be duped.

So, ever since, the New Orleans home crowd has been merciless to any Spur who hits the deck. With Bowen’s admission, we just assume you’re looking for a call. And to our collective credit, we’ve been right every time so far. Each Spur who’s gone down and stayed down has managed to pop right up after a few minutes, with no discernible injury.

In contrast, Tyson went down in Game 5, stayed down, and then came out of the game and didn’t return. When West got knocked down in Game 5, and stayed down, he came out of the game and didn’t return. These were real injuries. And let me tell you, if we saw some Spur get helped off the floor and come out of the game, legitimately hurt, those boos would turn to applause.

We may be a vicious home crowd, but we’re not classless. And by this post, I hope not to just explain this to those who aren’t present at the Arena, but to hopefully remind those who are going to be there of the difference. So stay classy, New Orleans.

And go fuck yourselves, San Antonio.

Because for once in the playoffs, the “other” Western Conference game was too early to cause me to narcoleptically drop into sleep (Seriously. I slept through both Lakers/Nuggets and Jazz/Rockets. I don’t think I’ve seen a single game from that side of the bracket), I actually watched it. OK, you try watching two teams you dislike play a Game 3 in front of fans who annoy the crap out of you. You gotta find something to amuse yourself.

Unsurprisingly, this game degenerated quickly into the gutter when mW brought up Andrei Kirilenko’s deal. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Kirilenko’s wife apparently gives him permission to sleep with one other woman per year. This is made twice as funny by the fact that AK-47 is, well, let’s just say he’s not the most attractive dude in the NBA.

So I stated that I would do any other Jazz starter on the floor over Kirilenko, including D-ron Williams (who, I’ve previously stated, both plays and looks like a bulldog) and Carlos Boozer’s eyebrows (they might be out to take over the world). I thought this was not too bold of a statement, since Kirilenko is just that skeevy.

Yeah. That was before ESPN put up Mehmet Okur’s mugshot on the screen, which has convinced me that he is in fact a vampire. No, seriously. I got it for you. See left. Tell me that man is not out to suck your blood. And it was also before I discovered the following set of incriminating photos of the Utah Jazz at a party. (At this point, I would like to thank the Internet for the joy it gives me on a daily basis.)

So, to sum up. I would like to state that this is an official takeback.

I would NOT do the Utah Jazz. And I don’t care about their series either.