Hornets Hype

I’d like to clear something up. There’s been a lot of mudslinging from Spurs fans to Hornets fans and vice versa this series. To be expected. But one thing in particular, I feel the need to address: the booing for Spurs players who fall to the ground and stay there. I guess after the “Horry, Horry” chants last night for Cheap Shot Bob, I feel the need to explain to those who don’t get it.

We’re not hoping anyone gets hurt. Not at all. Rather, this is the case of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Right from the start of this series, in Game 1, Bruce Bowen took a hard foul from Bonzi Wells and went to the court hard. He then ended up on the floor for several minutes, nothing noticeably wrong, not really grasping anything or writhing in pain, but just laying there, face down. A lot of us couldn’t see the play; he was in a crowd when it happened. But believing him to be a flopper–and still not forgiving his earlier-in-the-season assault on Chris Paul–the crowd booed when he got up, rather than cheered. Some people, especially those not present at the Arena, were confused by this booing and thought that we hoped he was hurt. Not so.

Consider that when Bowen finally got up, he looked perfectly fine. He showed no later effect from the play. So some reporter asked Bowen about the incident after the game, and he had this to say: “I just want to be sure that the officials can see what’s really going on.” In other words, he faked it to make sure he got the call. And he did. A flagrant no less. A good tactic, you say? Probably. I don’t mind a little psychology. But at the same time, Bowen opened the door for us, as a crowd, to not fall for it and call his bullshit, even if the refs continue to be duped.

So, ever since, the New Orleans home crowd has been merciless to any Spur who hits the deck. With Bowen’s admission, we just assume you’re looking for a call. And to our collective credit, we’ve been right every time so far. Each Spur who’s gone down and stayed down has managed to pop right up after a few minutes, with no discernible injury.

In contrast, Tyson went down in Game 5, stayed down, and then came out of the game and didn’t return. When West got knocked down in Game 5, and stayed down, he came out of the game and didn’t return. These were real injuries. And let me tell you, if we saw some Spur get helped off the floor and come out of the game, legitimately hurt, those boos would turn to applause.

We may be a vicious home crowd, but we’re not classless. And by this post, I hope not to just explain this to those who aren’t present at the Arena, but to hopefully remind those who are going to be there of the difference. So stay classy, New Orleans.

And go fuck yourselves, San Antonio.

Because for once in the playoffs, the “other” Western Conference game was too early to cause me to narcoleptically drop into sleep (Seriously. I slept through both Lakers/Nuggets and Jazz/Rockets. I don’t think I’ve seen a single game from that side of the bracket), I actually watched it. OK, you try watching two teams you dislike play a Game 3 in front of fans who annoy the crap out of you. You gotta find something to amuse yourself.

Unsurprisingly, this game degenerated quickly into the gutter when mW brought up Andrei Kirilenko’s deal. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Kirilenko’s wife apparently gives him permission to sleep with one other woman per year. This is made twice as funny by the fact that AK-47 is, well, let’s just say he’s not the most attractive dude in the NBA.

So I stated that I would do any other Jazz starter on the floor over Kirilenko, including D-ron Williams (who, I’ve previously stated, both plays and looks like a bulldog) and Carlos Boozer’s eyebrows (they might be out to take over the world). I thought this was not too bold of a statement, since Kirilenko is just that skeevy.

Yeah. That was before ESPN put up Mehmet Okur’s mugshot on the screen, which has convinced me that he is in fact a vampire. No, seriously. I got it for you. See left. Tell me that man is not out to suck your blood. And it was also before I discovered the following set of incriminating photos of the Utah Jazz at a party. (At this point, I would like to thank the Internet for the joy it gives me on a daily basis.)

So, to sum up. I would like to state that this is an official takeback.

I would NOT do the Utah Jazz. And I don’t care about their series either.