It has been brought to my attention (thanks, Matt!) that the Hornets folks are sending out an e-mail asking fans to provide their input on 300-Level Concessions improvements that they want to see for 2008-09.

As some of you may know, one of the foundations upon which this blog/movement was built is the gradual removal of local favorite Abita Beer from all New Orleans Arena concessions. (No, seriously.) We have lamented the lack of Abita on several occasions.

So now I am totally co-opting their survey in order to further our own Abita agenda. Please please click the link and tell them it’s not the N.O.L.A. without the A.B.I.T.A. It will take like 30 seconds, I promise. Do not let this opportunity to help knock an item permanently off the $#*t List pass us by! (And you know, like, if you actually sit in the 300-level, to tell them other things like you want healthier food and chairs to sit in, which are also totally things I can get behind. Because we were up there for the All Star Game and I was thinking, “Man, this is the sad little stepchild of concourses.” And then I thought, “Oh, there’s Jamario Moon walking by!” and got completely distracted.)

N.O. Arena Concessions Survey– Click here and remember to write in Abita on the last page!

It is for the good of all of us in this great city. The people demand Abita.

Because HornetsHype loves arts and crafts. And because no one fucks with David West on my watch. And now, for your Game 7 viewing pleasure, I present to you…

Side A…

And Side B…

… to the Heads on Sticks craze, I give you: Robert Horry On a Stick.

This one goes out to you & the rest of the TNT broadcasting crew. In case you need some NEW COLORS…

Consider me the rain on the parade. Consider me a hater in the lovefest that is Hornets-fandom. But our mission here at HornetsHype is to destroy all opposition to the perfect Hornets experience. Our mission is not yet complete. Although as Jim Eichenhofer at Hornets.com has pointed out, corporate sponsors are rolling in with the continued successes of the Hornets organization, one is conspicuously missing. It is a recent loss. At the beginning of the season it was there, but only like that sick relative who is just wasting away in a hospital, dying. And then, like a whisper in the night, it faded and was gone. And now, the New Orleans Arena no longer sells Abita Beer.

So I invoke one of the oldest of New Orleans’ traditions: the Jazz Funeral. Grab your instrument, put on your Sunday black best and march for a remembrance of an old and dear friend. Abita Beer.

Some would say this is a gripe better left for the after the season when the team has less to worry about. But let’s focus on of the image of New Orleans as a unique locale; this failure reflects on us all. We used to not only have Abita taps with four different brews at each Bacardi stand last year and early this year, with unique, full-flavored beer (any fans of Coors Light, Miller Light, Bud or Bud Light need not comment), but over the course of the year found these outlets limited to one on the 100 level and one on the 300 level. More than that, Pre-K we had a little Abita Brewpub in the Arena. It was awesome. Abita is awesome. It’s almost always stocked in our fridge and I’d bet it is in most New Orleanians’ fridges. And like many people, when I watch basketball, be it at home or at the arena, I enjoy a quality beer. A quality beer.

So bring back the Abita, New Orleans Arena. Be it trying to better represent Louisiana or just because you love beer. Bring it back because it’s the common sense approach to marketing. It’s a natural tie. Feature seasonal beers all-year round. It would be glorious.

Or at the very least, break out some Abita kegs at the Buzzfests.

[EDIT: no, this was not photoshopped. This happened in Treme. This morning. At dawn.  Unfortunately, the police broke it up.  It was sad.]

ESPN has been glued to the HornetsHype $#*t List since its inception three months ago. Why? Oh, you know, various offenses, like the rampant Kobe hype that took over the month of February, the lack of Hornets content on the air, and general lack of belief in the movement.

But today I took them off. For whatever reason (and let’s be honest, that reason is probably slightly under 6 feet tall and starts with a C), they appear to have drunk the Kool Aid and are giving the Hornets regular coverage. Good coverage too. Oh, and I have to recognize Henry Abbott who writes TrueHoop, because he’s never been a hater. (In fact, here he is today on the superflyness that is Julian Wright.)

TNT, however…

The Hornets better watch out.

All three teams who were down 2-0 won last night. Washington and Toronto did it at home. Houston took a rare one on the road in Utah (but then, Utah had already won a rare two on the road in Houston, so it’s proving to be a weird series). The Hornets have looked impressive in the first two games in the series, but tonight is going to be huge. If Dallas takes one back, it’s a new series.

We’re going to find out who this team is tonight.

Speaking of this team, has anyone noticed that ESPN has been dispensing mad Hornet love lately?

* This article finally praised the Hornets, maybe overmuch, calling them “the most complete team left in the NBA.”

* John Hollinger gives the team almost daily attention.

* David West, Chris Paul, and Josh Howard talk about the influence of their shared college coach, the late Skip Prosser.

Meanwhile, the good ol’ boys who “played in the ’80’s, man” on TNT keep talking Mavs, Mavs, Mavs. Charles Barkley jumped on the CP3 bandwagon briefly a couple of weeks back, then promptly changed his mind and jumped back off. Never mind his ignorant “the Hornets play in a mausoleum” comment, which by the way, was immortalized by our favorite hometown signmakers, Apple and Larry, at the Arena.

So we’ve got the beginning signs of ESPN playing themselves off the $#*t List. And we’ve got TNT sinking deeper and deeper into the mire of Hornets hate…

Speaking of crowds, who caught the Toronto game? Wow. They’re so coordinated. Not only did they manage to all be wearing the proper color t-shirt, but they managed to coherently sing an entire “Ole.” The Hornets crowd is like a disorganized mob in comparison. It’s loud… but it needs work on its cheer coordination.

Finally, there’s a watch party tonight starting at 6:30 at Gordon Biersch, which is sort of the Official Bar of the New Orleans Hornets– if you didn’t know, they broadcast the Hornets postgame call-in show from G.B. after games, plus there’s a discount if you bring your program. You can also ask Joe Block a question on the air. I’m sort of ambivalent on watch parties, since the Hornets are 0-4 this year in games with an official watch party. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to drag my superstitious ass down there.

But then again, everything starts fresh in the playoffs! You should come on down and say hi. I’ll be the one wearing who’s a girl.

You disappoint me.

All that love for us two weeks ago… the features, the photos, the columns… and now? You have slain me with your betrayal, Adrian Wojanawawhatever. And, actually, at the same time provided a nice example for my 7th grade English class on how not to write a journalistic article. So hey, there’s that.

“Bryant shouldn’t have to wait anymore for MVP,” declares the title of the article.

No one needs historical context to make the case for Bryant this year. His season stands on its own. At 29, this isn’t a lifetime achievement award.

OK, so it’s not a lifetime achievement award. I’m glad we established that… before writing an entire article explaining how it is a lifetime achievement award. That’s called a contradiction. Not to mention the glaring grammatical error in the last sentence. So the award is 29, eh?

There isn’t a player in the league that I love more to talk with, that I love more to watch play, than Paul.

 

Yet, he will have to go No. 2 on my ballot. He hasn’t been first-team All-NBA. He still hasn’t played in the postseason.

‘Cause the MVP is a postseason award, and it’s also based on what you did last year. Who knew? You know, I was gonna dissect this some more, but I decided it wasn’t worth the time. Suffice to say it’s a poorly written article saying that CP3 hasn’t been in the league enough years to be MVP this year.

At least this piece of garbage column comes complete with a photo of Kobe Bryant looking like a fish. At least they gave me that.

Or is that the sweet, sweet sound of NBATV going off on the Hornets? I mean, this is NBATV. They hate on us on a regular basis. Obviously, it has to be taken with a grain of salt because they are covering our team. But they started with the Hornets as opposed to the Celtics. And 4 minutes later, they’re still going. (Oh, but David West can’t create his own shot? Meh… don’t know about that.)

“Give us your CP3 for MVP argument– 15 seconds!” Aaaand I love it.