Hornets Hype

You disappoint me.

All that love for us two weeks ago… the features, the photos, the columns… and now? You have slain me with your betrayal, Adrian Wojanawawhatever. And, actually, at the same time provided a nice example for my 7th grade English class on how not to write a journalistic article. So hey, there’s that.

“Bryant shouldn’t have to wait anymore for MVP,” declares the title of the article.

No one needs historical context to make the case for Bryant this year. His season stands on its own. At 29, this isn’t a lifetime achievement award.

OK, so it’s not a lifetime achievement award. I’m glad we established that… before writing an entire article explaining how it is a lifetime achievement award. That’s called a contradiction. Not to mention the glaring grammatical error in the last sentence. So the award is 29, eh?

There isn’t a player in the league that I love more to talk with, that I love more to watch play, than Paul.

 

Yet, he will have to go No. 2 on my ballot. He hasn’t been first-team All-NBA. He still hasn’t played in the postseason.

‘Cause the MVP is a postseason award, and it’s also based on what you did last year. Who knew? You know, I was gonna dissect this some more, but I decided it wasn’t worth the time. Suffice to say it’s a poorly written article saying that CP3 hasn’t been in the league enough years to be MVP this year.

At least this piece of garbage column comes complete with a photo of Kobe Bryant looking like a fish. At least they gave me that.

Or is that the sweet, sweet sound of NBATV going off on the Hornets? I mean, this is NBATV. They hate on us on a regular basis. Obviously, it has to be taken with a grain of salt because they are covering our team. But they started with the Hornets as opposed to the Celtics. And 4 minutes later, they’re still going. (Oh, but David West can’t create his own shot? Meh… don’t know about that.)

“Give us your CP3 for MVP argument– 15 seconds!” Aaaand I love it.

Zach (Los Angeles): Who do you see as the top 4 seeds out West, and who will get the No. 1 seed?

John Hollinger: Lakers will get the top seed because their remaining schedule is so soft. Jazz will get No. 4 because they’ll be NW division champs, and could move up to No. 3 depending on how things go over the final two weeks. OK, now for the hard part. I’ll take Houston to win the Southwest and the No. 2 seed, and San Antonio to finish behind them and take the No. 3. That would leave New Orleans and Phoenix as Nos. 5 and 6, Golden State at 7, and Denver/Dallas at 8. Of course, ask me tomorrow and you might get something completely different.

I’ve been trying for about the last 10 minutes to come up with a way to get my cat, a piece of his poop, and today’s Daily Dime all in one photo. But my cat hates people being near him, not to mention having his picture taken, and I don’t really want his poop that close to my laptop because the idea of that freaks me out, plus I would have to actually, physically pick the poop out of the litterbox, and then I’d have to use my digital camera and not the one in my MacBook because otherwise I couldn’t get the screen in… yeah, it’s just not coming.

Even my cat poops on you, ESPN. You’ll just have to picture it yourself.

(There are things in this analysis I don’t necessarily take issue with, but like hell the Rockets and Jazz are ending up above the Suns and Hornets. It’s just hard to see, after this week. Rockets taking the division over both San Antonio and New Orleans? Doubtful at best.)

Okay, there’s been a lot of TC-bashing in certain Hornets forums lately. Not doing enough of this or that…boo-hoo. The man is AVERAGING 12 and 12 in the basket and on the boards, adding a block and an assist, with a steal every other game. Funny how people see that Shaq gets 11 and 11 the other night and think this is good. Not to mention that TC is only 25, and thus still growing into his game. Could he work on his defense a little? Sure. Do we wish the man got more blocks? Sure. But I also wish CP averaged 40-20-10-10 and Peja averaged 15 three pointers a game. Guess what? Yeah. Not gonna happen.

The key question is how does TC contribute to victories? The fact is that most complaints about his D are about his help on penetrating guards. He’s done a pretty good job this year straight up. And while the question of whether he is an All-Star depends on how he can guard the Shaqs, Howards, and Yaos, the question of whether TC will have a monster game is often about the center, not the team. For example, without a dominant center, he probably would have done great against MJ’s Bulls, even though the Bees would have lost out. Like tonight, who can say who will win against the Spurs, but with 6′9″ Kurt Thomas listed as their starting center (pictured, getting rejected by a shooting guard, left), expect TC to have a big game.

I’ve yet to understand the love crush critics have on Kurt Thomas. He is at best mediocre. Besides the fact that I can’t stand teams that insist on putting 6′8″ or 6′9″ guys, even with bulk, at center, like that will help (picture T-Wolves Mark Madsen, forearm on Shaq’s back, his body at a 45 degree angle to the ground…yeah…), he’s just not that good. He played seven years as a Knick when I lived in NY, and let me tell you, we were not fans. We got to hear every game how he was the last collegiate athlete to lead the nation in both scoring and rebounding (at TCU…whatever…) , expected him to do something…and were repeatedly disappointed. The man averages 9 and 7, with less than a block, steal, and barely an assist per game. Hardly an impact player. (See picture of him trying to guard a real center at left).

Bottom line? TC will destroy him. Unless of course Pop wises up and puts him on West, who will then destroy him. Meanwhile, I would expect TC and West to combine to slow down Duncan. Prediction? TC will have a huge game, but the outcome will be determined by Peja and Mo’s shooting compared to the Bees ability to stop Ginobli and Parker.

I’ll be the one under the big blue sign screaming the whole game for them. Go guys!

Kevin Martin vs. Chris Paul in the Battle of the Babyface.

This morning we were watching last night’s highlights on NBA TV, and they referred to Kevin Martin of the Kings as “The Baby-Faced Assassin.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Clearly they are mistaken, for everyone knows Chris Paul is The Baby-Faced Criminal.

Really, I think there are two major questions we need to ask here. First, who is more baby-faced? For your convenience, the head to head comparison. I don’t know, guys. I don’t think you can get any more baby-faced than Chris Paul. Look at him! Second, who is the bigger assassin/criminal?

Here’s what I’m saying: JUST WHO DO YOU ASSASSINATE IF YOU PLAY FOR THE SACRAMENTO KINGS? I mean, they aren’t that terrible, but they’re eight games under .500.

Also, I don’t think you are really allowed to call someone a baby-faced assassin who scores 48 points in a loss to the T-Wolves. In fact, the Kings are two of Minnesota’s 13 wins.

NBA TV, you fail.

Anyone who has followed the NBA knows that it is home to conspiracy theories. Like the Knicks mysteriously getting the #1 pick in 1985 draft to obtain Patrick Ewing, despite having the smallest chance to obtain that lottery pick. Or the phantom foul called on Scottie Pippen in the 1994 against the Knicks, the first year after MJ left, basically handing victory to the Knicks. Others accuse the league of moving the three point line forward in 1994-1997 to help the poor shooting Knicks advance in the playoffs. Others point to the 27 free throws awarded to the Lakers in the 4th quarter alone in the game 6 against Sacto in 2002. Or that league officials have been instructed to call fouls more strictly on Shaq because otherwise his combination of size, speed, and power would make him unstoppable and the Lakers/Heat/whoever would win every year. Others suggest expanding the no-charge box on defense is meant to help “exciting” teams like Suns and Mavericks, who run, or one-on-one stars like Kobe, McGrady, and Iverson.

Now these are conspiracies for a reason: there is absolutely no proof that these or others exist as any sort of deliberate action. And like any other sport, officiating can be subject to human error and limitations (such as being screened by players from seeing a foul). League rule changes, are similarly given the benefit of the doubt of being intended to benefit the league, not any particular teams. But here’s what I see as the latest conspiracy: New Orleans is a great story for the All-Star game, but too small of a market to compete in the NBA finals. (Just think how much already we’re being told to expect a Lakers/Celtics finals, or how much hype has centered around Kobe potentially going to Chicago or Lebron going to the big apple because he’s friends with Jay-Z. Conspiracies usually favor large market teams.) As such, it is my belief, after analyzing this season’s games, that the NBA officials have been instructed to make things hard for the Hornets.

Ordinarily, I am inclined to believe in my own bias, and those of any one else in the Arena, in that we will boo any foul against us or any perceived slight not called a foul. However, after the game versus the Wizards, I was apalled. The refereeing was horrible. I even watched the replay today on CST, to check my initial instincts and utilize instant replays and was again appalled.

Let me give you the bare bones highlights. Hornets fans feel free to comment here with your own. The technical foul in the final quarter against Tyson? There was NOTHING going on. They showed the replay several times. Two guys going for the ball, Tyson gets a personal, fine. (You could have let it go too, but anyway.) Then the guy shoots and makes the free throw, Tyson goes to take the ball out of bounds, and there is a phantom technical called. No apparent comments being made, Tyson’s not looking or calling to the ref. It just came out of nowhere. How about the so-called charge on David West with 35.7 seconds remaining and the Bees up by 1? Insane. David did NOT lower his shoulder AND the defender’s feet were moving . Are you kidding me? It should have been a block, sending D-West to the line . Do these refs not realize the game is on the line and they’re blowing these kinds of calls? I would say it’s inexcusable, but with the scrutiny these guys (and 1 lady) are forced to endure, that seems unlikely. So dare I say it, it must be intentional. Lastly, the foul on Hilton that gave the game away. Here we are again, with a player barrelling out of control toward the bucket who is rewarded for jumping into a player. Refs are usually smart enough to make a no call in this situation. Unfortunately, Hilton had the audacity to make a good play, jumping back, leaning over, and swatting the ball away. He should have just let DS (he deserves no name) miss the shot without the block. But with a block, refs felt they needed to employ Stern order #147 and the fall was called. DS jumped INTO Hilton, I don’t buy a foul there. Should have been a no call.

My whole problem I’ve seen this year is that David Stern’s shock troops have been inconsistent in Hornets games. Refs will call games tight or loose, and usually call it the same way on both teams. That’s fine. But when you call tight on one team and loose on the other, it is bullshit. I’ve seen it a lot and I’m sick of it. I for one, hope Byron Scott and the coaching staff send a tape of this game to the league for review. Someone should be censured for this.

That is, unless there is a conspiracy to stop the Hornets.

Times Picayune, we need to talk.

As in, we need to have a serious conversation about what is or is not acceptable when you are the hometown paper covering a premier Western Conference team. I get that there are 82 games, and probably every time the Hornets have a huge win the real rabid fans are going, “OH MY GOD that was the biggest game EVER!” Like the previous Suns win? Possibly the biggest game ever. The Spurs win? Undoubtedly the biggest game ever. So I understand that you kind of need to take that kind of attitude with a grain of salt. And being a professional media source, you can’t be freaking out over every big game that happens throughout the course of an 82-game season.

However.

In the past week, the New Orleans Hornets have been seriously slumping, casting some slim shadows of doubt over their overachievingly amazing play thus far in 2008. In January the Hornets were blowing other teams out to the tune of 14-20 points per game. In the last three games, they’ve been blown out. The defense took a break, Chris Paul had one of his worst games ever, and David West struggled after being named to his first All Star Game. It was their longest losing streak of the season. And the last game of their road trip was at Phoenix, the team that recently leapfrogged back ahead of the Hornets for the top spot in the West. It was conceivable, albeit horrifying, that the Hornets could go 0-3 on the trip.

But they didn’t.

Instead the Hornets duked it out with the Suns through two OTs, in a thrilling offensive battle of two top teams and two top point guards, and managed to get the ball to Peja, who made the perfect buzzer-beating shot and got instantly piled on by Chris Paul and all his teammates. And really, all the doubts sort of disappear, don’t they? Because if you can hang tough in that game, you deserve to be where you are. If you’re going to break a 3-game losing streak, is there a better way to do it? And man, this game topped all the highlight shows, and rightly so. It was referred to by several people as the most exciting game of the regular season thus far. (NBA.com: “Hornets Burn Suns in Instant Classic”) Even if you aren’t a Hornets fan, what was not to love about that game?

But did the game end early enough to make the paper? That is the question. And the answer is yes. Oh yes. But as I held the TP sports section distastefully by the corner, similar to the manner in which one might hold a dead rat by the tail, “What,” I said, “is this?” (Click on photo at above left to enlarge if you can’t read what the big story was this morning. Click. I dare you.)

Really only one word comes to mind, and that word is “WTF.” (Which is not technically a word, it’s an acronym, but shut up, I’m rolling.)

Come the fuck on, Times Picayune. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you probably had the fascinating breaking sports news of Tulane and LSU’s freshmen (for NEXT YEAR) already prepared. And look, you saved space on the front page for the Hornets game. Pretty skinny column, though. Almost as if… you expected them to lose. And were only going to grudgingly bestow upon those second-rate losers their allotted one inch of space and no more, dammit. And here I was having fantasies of CP3 jumping on Peja in color under a headline.

But, you say, maybe it was too late and they couldn’t get a picture. Okay, maybe. That’s a valid point. If it were not for the fact that here’s the back (see left). If it was football, you better believe they would have saved the space, late game be damned. How are the Hornets to be expected to grow a fan base without quality coverage by the local media? How can the Hornets be taken seriously by the national media when the local media doesn’t take them seriously?

Maybe the TP lacks experience in covering an 82 game season. It shows. Let me make an analogy. In soccer or hockey, it’s possible that you’ll only have 1-4 scoring plays per game. Therefore each time either team scores, it’s a big deal. In basketball, you’re going to run up and down the court and make (if you’re the Hornets in winning mode) roughly 40-50 scoring plays per game. Do you cover each and every one? Of course not. It doesn’t make sense. So what do you cover?

The plays that swing the momentum.

It’s the same with an 82 game season. Some games are more important than others. If you’re going to cover one of these sports, and cover it in a meaningful way, you’ve got to get your head around the idea of momentum. You’ve got to know that this was as huge a game as it was. You’ve got to recognize them when they come. If you’re going to skimp on coverage of a game, for God’s sake, make it the one where the Hornets bitchslap the Heat or the Grizzlies or the Clippers.

Not a game like this.

I urge Hornets fans to write in, go to nola.com and leave a comment, whatever. The coverage has gotten marginally better, but clearly there’s a long way to go. Demand better coverage.

A marquis matchup and we get Tulane football. In February. Jesus. I’m dying here.

I know the Hornets’ attendance woes are not the Times Picayune’s problem, and it’s unfair either to lay blame at their feet or to suggest that they have a responsibility to hype a product that isn’t theirs. But imagine Peja Stojakovic in color. Imagine large bold letters. Imagine a side article about Chris Paul vs. Steve Nash.

And underneath all this, in a box, imagine: “Next Game: Saturday 7 PM vs. Memphis. Call Ticketmaster for tickets.”

Imagine the world you want to see.

This is the Hornets. This is the Hornets at the top of the Western Conference.

ESPN should not be showing anything on Sportscenter except the Hornets. There should be nothing on the front of their website if it’s not the Hornets. Do not even open your mouth to speak unless it is the Hornets of which you speak. The Times Picayune should plaster the Hornets all over the entire paper tomorrow. In color. Because not enough people know they exist. And this is unacceptable. Huge win tonight. So hyped up.

ESPN: And now, a possible preview of the Western Conference finals.

Me: It’s us!

ESPN: … the Lakers and the Spurs.

Me: Is he talking?

ESPN: blah blah Spurs blah

Me: Did the Spurs win? Did the Spurs play? I wasn’t looking.

Mike: (dies)

I have pretty much been going on like this for half an hour…

Who’s on the list this week?

1. Governor Blanco. Why sign that new $#*tty lease? The Hornets were locked in, and now they have an out. Several outs. Whoever looked at that lease and said, “This here is a great idea” obviously did not go to law school or understand the concept of negotiations. There is a word for what the City of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana will look like if they lose a pro sports team. And that word is “bush league.”

2. Cox Cable & Charter Communications. Getting people on the Northshore to see the games is huge.

3. ESPN. We don’t get no love from ESPN.

4. Kobe Bryant. Some cheese with that whine?

5. The hordes of losers who came to the game to see Kobe instead of CP3 on Wednesday, blocking us out of our usual parking spot and making us late.

6. The Times Picayune. Deserves a spot for last Sunday’s paper alone. OK, the BCS was a legitimate sporting event. But the Saints retrospective (complete with color photos) and the freakin’ Crescent City Classic spread could have given up A LITTLE space to the Hornets’ huge road win over the BEST TEAM IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE. CP3 and Tyson’s monster game at Golden State the previous night? Ended late and got barely a boxscore.

7. NBA.com. Don’t order a jersey from their store. It will take at least 2 weeks.

8. The NOPD. We sat at the light at the top of Poydras for four entire minutes last night. I was looking at the clock. You know, some vehicles would like to actually get to the games.