… in size XXXL. Haha. For those of you who didn’t know yet, we’re getting a WHITE out on Monday, with everyone in attendance getting a white Fan Up! shirt.

T minus 2 days…

Two Hornets + Tyson’s wife + ceiling fan repair man = Instant Win.

I just wanted to draw your attention to the Awesomest Video of the Week, brought to you by Alejandro de los Rios over at Best of New Orleans Blog. He told us about this interview last week, but it was just recently posted up at ESPN the Mag for your viewing pleasure. You really have to witness the awesomeness.

It’s a contest between Jannero Pargo and Tyson Chandler’s wife Kimberly to see which one of them knows Tyson best. You have to watch till the end for the best nickname for the 7′1 Chandler ever invented.

TysonBlog: Round One Version. The best part excerpted below:

It’s comical to me that they wanted to play us. First of all, it’s comical to me that you’re scared of a team, and say that you don’t want to play them.

But it reminds me of when I was little. I begged for the My Buddy doll, begged for the My Buddy doll. I kept asking, “Ma, get me the My Buddy. Ma, get me the My Buddy.” But my mom couldn’t really afford it, so she couldn’t get it for me at that time.

So, I kept at it. “Ma, get me a My Buddy. Every other kid got a My Buddy. Mom, I never get anything!” Just making my mom feel bad.

So, my uncle told my mom, “I’ll fix this.” I didn’t know my uncle told my mom that, but he came over with this video and pops it in the machine. I’m like, “Ah, My Buddy!” And it turns out it was the Chucky movie.

All the next week, I’m telling my mom, “Please, don’t get me My Buddy. Please, don’t get me My Buddy.”

So sometimes, what you think you really want, you don’t really want. The Mavericks think they want us, and they asked for us, and we ain’t gonna be My Buddy. They’re gonna get Chucky.

Also, I’m so over the MVP race drama now, but this is pretty funny.

So just to be funny one night when we might have been drinking (OK, that’s a huge lie– we were wasted), we stuck the Hornets winter hat over the top of the Tyson Chandler bobblehead like a cape and declared him Obi-Ty Kenobi. Then I woke up the next morning and it was still there, so I took a picture of it. And when I started this blog in January in a fit of jealous rage, due to the lack of local/national notice of the Hornets’ rise to prominence, I stuck Obi-Ty Kenobi at the top of the sidebar with the quote, “I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”

Because if you are not cracking Star Wars quotes while posing your Hornets bobblehead dolls for your blog, clearly you do not understand how to truly maximize the time-wasting potential of the internet.

Anyhow, it’s April 10th. The Hornets still hold the top seed in the West with four games left to play. The Chris Paul MVP hype machine is rolling, after a slow start. Last night the Hornets hit 55 wins to officially become the best Hornets team in the 21-year history of the franchise.

And I wanted to give a shout-out to Obi-Ty Kenobi, because I’m taking him down. It’s been fun, Ty, but you’re being replaced by a new bobblehead tableau. As you can see now to the right, we have the Hornets Empire.

Fear it.

(Oh, you thought I was kidding when I said I was going to pose those bobbleheads in fun ways. That’s funny. Also of mild hilarity are the three Photo Booth shots that my cat jumped into before I managed to get that one, which I am not posting. Don’t worry.)

Tyson is a man who has destroyed lesser competition this year and tonight was no different. Miami’s frontcourt, apparently made up of actual NBA players, had no answer for the Bees’ big man. He ended up with 20 points on 10/10 shooting, with 10 rebounds thrown in for giggles. The only disappointing thing is that he had I think 14 at halftime and didn’t even take a shot in the third. Oh well. Much love TC.

….

ticktock6: Is Bonzi chewing gum?

mW: Lots of players chew gum.

ticktock6: You think he was blowing bubbles on the floor when they were playing the Celtics? I’m just saying.

mW: I’m not going to answer that question.

34-19 in the 2nd.

….

Oh god. Gil and Bob discussing buying teal seersucker suits for the playoffs. And I think they’re serious.

The Heat closed for a short time but then the Hornets started playing again.

91-70 in the 4th.

….

LOL at Tyson swinging a towel in circles on the bench and hitting himself in the eye with it. They are gonna show that clip all night. When CST latches onto something, they do not let it go. That shit was made for YouTube.

Plus we actually missed the last minute of play or so because CST thought Chris Paul tossing autographed sneakers into the crowd and other bench hijink was more interesting than the game . . . ummm . . . (sudden silence)

106-77 Final.

….

ESPN, apropos of nothing, during Mavs/Warriors game just now:

“How about the New Orleans Hornets? Wow… blah blah… 52-22… can’t see them finishing out of the Top 2… just a great team… 30 games over .500… great record against the Western Conference too… oh, and Dirk just scored.”

YES, HOW ABOUT THE NEW ORLEANS HORNETS!!!

I have seen enough to know that my job here is done.

Okay, there’s been a lot of TC-bashing in certain Hornets forums lately. Not doing enough of this or that…boo-hoo. The man is AVERAGING 12 and 12 in the basket and on the boards, adding a block and an assist, with a steal every other game. Funny how people see that Shaq gets 11 and 11 the other night and think this is good. Not to mention that TC is only 25, and thus still growing into his game. Could he work on his defense a little? Sure. Do we wish the man got more blocks? Sure. But I also wish CP averaged 40-20-10-10 and Peja averaged 15 three pointers a game. Guess what? Yeah. Not gonna happen.

The key question is how does TC contribute to victories? The fact is that most complaints about his D are about his help on penetrating guards. He’s done a pretty good job this year straight up. And while the question of whether he is an All-Star depends on how he can guard the Shaqs, Howards, and Yaos, the question of whether TC will have a monster game is often about the center, not the team. For example, without a dominant center, he probably would have done great against MJ’s Bulls, even though the Bees would have lost out. Like tonight, who can say who will win against the Spurs, but with 6′9″ Kurt Thomas listed as their starting center (pictured, getting rejected by a shooting guard, left), expect TC to have a big game.

I’ve yet to understand the love crush critics have on Kurt Thomas. He is at best mediocre. Besides the fact that I can’t stand teams that insist on putting 6′8″ or 6′9″ guys, even with bulk, at center, like that will help (picture T-Wolves Mark Madsen, forearm on Shaq’s back, his body at a 45 degree angle to the ground…yeah…), he’s just not that good. He played seven years as a Knick when I lived in NY, and let me tell you, we were not fans. We got to hear every game how he was the last collegiate athlete to lead the nation in both scoring and rebounding (at TCU…whatever…) , expected him to do something…and were repeatedly disappointed. The man averages 9 and 7, with less than a block, steal, and barely an assist per game. Hardly an impact player. (See picture of him trying to guard a real center at left).

Bottom line? TC will destroy him. Unless of course Pop wises up and puts him on West, who will then destroy him. Meanwhile, I would expect TC and West to combine to slow down Duncan. Prediction? TC will have a huge game, but the outcome will be determined by Peja and Mo’s shooting compared to the Bees ability to stop Ginobli and Parker.

I’ll be the one under the big blue sign screaming the whole game for them. Go guys!

I have randomly decided to dish out some TC love.

This blog is an unabashed fan of the big man. As you might have noticed, I wear his jersey. I wasn’t going to buy it, though. I was planning on buying a Peja Stojakovic one, because of both his superhuman ability to nail 3’s and our common Balkan heritage. But then something funny happened… Tyson grew on me. On his best nights, his energy is infectious and his rebounding superb. But mostly he just seems to be having such a great time out there. And he gets so genuinely excited for the guys on his team.

I had to get my #6 jersey online because they STILL don’t sell them in the arena. Which is, if you ask me, a travesty of the highest order. I’m talking to you, Hornets Nest. Let’s make it a little easier for people to rock the #6!

Some of my fave Tyson moments:

1. This dunk against Golden State. The staredown afterward is really the best part.
2. The league-leading CP to TC alley oop connection. I keep hearing that it blows every other pair in the NBA away by far, but I can’t for the life of me find where that stat is. It’s got to be on the internet somewhere.
3. Perhaps the day will come when I cease to be entertained by the leaping chest bump he does with Chris Paul during the intros at home games… but it hasn’t happened yet.
4. Tyson plays some great ball when he’s pissed. He gets this look on his face, then stalks back to the other end of the court and destroys someone on the rebound. He’ll rip that thing right out of someone’s hands and growl. Well, it looks like he growls. I can imagine he growls.
5. After that win against the Clippers where Peja lit it up, Peja is standing there getting interviewed and Tyson runs up behind him and jumps into the camera yelling, “THE MAN IS ON FIIIIIRE!” Classic.
6. The last time I watched a game on CST, they ran a couple of Chandler highlight clips, and one of them is him dancing on the bench.
7. Tyson has a blog. I have two blogs. I love blogs! Sold!
8. The first time the crowd really got into it with the “MVP” chant for Chris Paul, Tyson jumped up off the bench and started waving his arms at the crowd to keep it going.
9. Just in case he’s ever in a situation where he forgets his name… it’s on his arm!
10. Ladies. Come on.

New post on Tyson’s blog yesterday. He talks about their streak, the All Star Game, the bench, and the Super Bowl. (What? There’s a Super Bowl this year? I thought there was just Mardi Gras…) I wonder if he writes his own, like some of the players do, or if he dictates them to someone. I know Gilbert Arenas calls in and just rants and goes off on different topics, and a guy tapes it and then types them out. His (infamous) Agent Zero blog is pretty funny, albeit mildly stream of consciousness and, oh, insane.

Check out who’s on top of the Hornets in the Southwest Division.

Oh, that’s right. NO ONE.

Daily Dose of Positivity:

1. Hornets have won 4 straight since the unfortunate bitchslapping by the Lakers.

2. If the All Star Game was tomorrow, Byron Scott would be coaching for the West.

3. Friday’s attendance was up from the horrendous showing on Wednesday night.

4. If the TP keeps up the good work with the front page coverage, I might have to remove them from my Shit List.

5. My Tyson Chandler bobblehead is standing on top of my entertainment center, surveying the living room with an air of confidence and bad-assery. Now all it needs is for someone to take a sharpie and give it some tats…