Hornets Hype

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$#*t List

By on January 9, 2008

(*&@$#$(%!!The $#*t List is a frequently updated list of who’s not giving the Hornets the appropriate amount of love. People/entities committing other dubious actions deemed by the owners of this site to not be in the best interest of the Hornets will also be eligible for the $#*t List. And just because we are local does not mean New Orleanians and our local media get a free pass. So be careful what you say about the Hornets, because you will be unceremoniously $#*tListed. And it’s easier to get on the List than it is to get off it. Ask ESPN.

Who’s got a spot on the List currently?

1. The national basketball media.  Still. We had to endure a whole summer of completely false OMG CHRIS PAUL HATES NEW ORLEANS AND HE IS DEMANDING A TRADE articles. He isn’t, he didn’t, and he’s still saving basketball in Nola one dime at a time.  Plus, the major media outlets are all still talking about Rose and Curry as if they could hold CP’s jockstrap.  ”But Ticktock6, you can’t Shitlist the entire national basketball media!” … I just did.

2. Kenny “The Jet” Smith. TNT analyst who rattled off a list of point guards, including Chris Paul, and claimed he had not even begun talking about the “top tier” point guards.  Analyst fail.

3. Tracy McGrady. Today, tomorrow, and always.

4. Hornets Pre-Game Prayer. I really hope this leaves town with George Shinn.  There is no cause to start a basketball game with a sectarian exercise of faith that excludes people of all other faiths.  Oh yeah, and it’s not goodness of the heart; the right to say the pre-game prayer is sold.

5. Vince Carter. Crimes against humanity. Also, because he sucks. Also, that t-shirt he wears under his jersey is stupid.

6. Charles Barkley. Last year he said Deron Williams had passed Chris Paul as the best PG in the league because he was bigger.  (“Was”?  “Had gotten”?  Did we miss a growth spurt from D-Will?).  Now, he says “I’m about to take Chris Paul off the list” of top PGs.  Really.  After breaking the Hornets’ opening night assist record, and falling just three of the NBA record for same, and assisting on 16 of the 28 FGs made by someone other than himself?  Really?  Your act is getting tired, Chuck, get your facts straight.

7. Anyone Who Suggests Marcus Thornton Shouldn’t Get Major Minutes. What happened to pretty much the best advanced stats for a rookie this side of CP3?  What about all kinds of broken Hornets’ records for a rookie?  Out the window for a poor preseason?  That shit doesn’t count, and Lil’ Buckets showed that Opening Night.  The other MW better get his line-ups straight.

8. Mardi Gras Baby. Because it’s scary.

9. World Wide Wes. I’m sick of hearing about him.

10.  TNT. For hosting a TV crew mostly made up with people on our Shit List.  Plus Chris Webber.  Nuff said.