On January 12, we learn that they play the Hallelujah chorus when he dunks. No, I didn’t make that up. When have I ever made stuff like that up? … Oh, OK. But regardless, this time I’m not:

In the final period, the 1.96-metre (six-foot-five-inch) guard/forward repeatedly played off the screens of his Nigerian teammate Olumide Oyedeji to beat his defender and race down the lane for slam dunks. That’s when the public address system blared a five-second snippet of Handel’s Hallelujah chorus as the frenzied crowd — few of whom were likely to know the classic’s homage to the resurrection of Christ — stood and cheered.

“In all my years, I have never heard the Hallelujah chorus at a basketball game,” Shanxi’s American coach Bob Weiss, formerly of the National Basketball Association’s Seattle Supersonics, told AFP.

AND he was going to be on the cover of China’s version of Sports Illustrated:

After going through a strategy session at a practice last week, Wells spent the rest of the afternoon at a photo shoot for the Chinese edition of Sports Illustrated magazine. Wells is expected to grace the cover of the magazine for its Chinese New Year’s edition — an impressive accomplishment for a new comer to the country.

But wait, hold the presses, because last week Shanxi Zhongyu apparently sacked Wells when he never came back from vacation.

“He should have come back to the club on January 30, but he did not,” said the man, who declined to be named. According to a statement posted on Zhongyu’s website over the weekend, Wells — who was dogged by troublesome on-court behaviour and run-ins with coaches during his 10-year NBA career — went home for a holiday last month. He was meant to come back on January 27, but asked for a two-day extension to “attend to some personal matters,” the statement said.

On January 29, he asked for another extension, which the club agreed to as long as he came back in time for a weekend match. Wells, however, still failed to return, prompting the cancellation of his one-year contract.

Wait, what? HAHAHA! Hey, guys, maybe we should sign him.

And while he’s at it, he could bring me an egg roll. ‘Cause I got all this leftover Chinese in my fridge right now but no egg rolls.